The son is grumpy and rebellious at the age of 13, after psychological counseling, parents unconditionally accept and let go, and the son develops into school weariness, Internet addiction, anxiety, what to do?
--- anxious and helpless parents
Heart accompanies the suspension of school boredom clinic
Letters from parents who are bored with their children
My son is 13 years old, and he has a good academic performance before the first year of junior high school, and he is also very well-behaved and sensible. In July this year, I began to notice obvious changes, and I was surprised to suddenly be grumpy and irritable, often throwing tantrums over a small matter. After the start of the second year of junior high school in September, he still had a lot of motivation for learning, and asked me to urge him to study, but his temper was still grumpy, and he and his mother had many conflicts.
At the end of September, I felt that the situation was getting worse and worse, so I contacted a counselor in the local area, and after a conversation between our parents and the counselor, we realized that there was a big problem with our educational philosophy, and we decided to start changing and relaxing the restrictions on him. As a result, his computer can also be more enjoyable, but what he did not expect is that today it will become so intense. He realized that he couldn't control his emotions, followed my advice, and he had four consultations with counselors himself.
What I did not expect was that the original grumpy child, after doing psychological counseling, the situation became more and more serious, began to tire of school, first took leave, and now refused to go to school for a month or two. Perhaps, without psychological counseling, boredom is inevitable, but who knows.
Tell us about my son's current state:
1, black and white upside down
These days are around 10 a.m. to start sleeping, get up at 7 or 8 p.m., play the computer all night, basically only guarantee two meals, three meals are very few.
2. Addicted to computers
Mainly watch station B videos and play "Minecraft" games.
3, unwilling to go to school, serious boredom
Since November, I have stopped writing homework and studying at home, and now I have not been to school for more than a month. All cram schools were stopped, wasting a lot of money. The school bag has never moved its place at home. Last week, when he was asked every day whether he was going to go to school, he said he would go, but in the morning he refused to go, and this week he said he wouldn't go.
4, basically do not go out, do not exercise
I called him to accompany me out every day, sometimes he would accompany me to run, play badminton, walk, and call 5 times and promise 1 time. Often I didn't even go out of the house for a week.
5, do not pay attention to hygiene
At this stage, the son does not brush his teeth or take a bath (once a week or two), which actually shows that his self-denial is already very serious. Braces for straightened teeth were no longer worn, and the orthokeratology mirrors were stopped for more than a month.
Expert advice:
1
Psychological counseling is a very professional thing, when encountering a child who is bored with school, parents must first be calm, must not have a disorderly medical treatment, must find professional institutions and psychologists for the child;
2
Children have psychological problems, which naturally involve the analysis and discussion of parents' education methods, but children's and adolescents' psychological counseling must be based on children as the main work object, and simply criticizing parents and educating parents + telling big reasons cannot solve children's problems;
3
Children have psychological problems, the first consultation and early treatment experience is very important, parents blindly looking for "counselors", due to lack of experience and resources, most parents are difficult to find a truly professional and mature counselor for their children, so inappropriate "counseling" will cause harm to children, some harm is even far-reaching and long-term; only by finding a truly professional psychological counseling institution, children can get effective psychological counseling, thereby helping children out of the dilemma of psychological problems;
4
Children have "boredom" or even "suspension" situation, parents need to turn to the professional "boredom outpatient" institutions, ordinary "psychological counseling" has been difficult to solve the child's problems, only the "boredom outpatient" institutions dedicated to serving teenagers can effectively help children solve problems, return to school as soon as possible, and return to school.
