The so-called "poor student" is actually a rather vague concept. But most people still think that poor grades in school are bad students.
When the child is the "poor student" in the eyes of the teacher, not only the child is miserable, the parents' life will not be better, especially those parents who are better in themselves have a greater inner gap.
Guangzhou psychological counseling for your interpretation: children are poor students, parents are under great pressure, how to adjust?
"As a mom who has both work and kids, I'm very bothered right now. I grew up studying very well, usually love to study, read, now the job is not bad, is a company manager.
However, my children's grades are very worrying, basically a poor student. I think that children's learning habits should be cultivated from an early age, so the education of children is usually more strict.
But it always backfired, whether I beat him and scolded him, or encouraged him to reward him, it was useless, the results did not improve, and I was very worried. ”
Guangzhou Adolescent Psychological Counseling:
If your child is smart, beautiful, has good learning habits, is good at self-control, never lets you worry about learning, the teacher praises you for teaching your children, and you yourself feel a great sense of accomplishment.
But if on the contrary, your pressure will also be great, a parent-teacher meeting, or one-on-one by the class teacher, no matter how successful you are, you will also feel like a loser at this time - even the children are not well educated!
After returning home, it is inevitable that irritable and boring emotions will be revealed, and the attitude towards children in this emotional state will be unfair.
We need to recognize that not good parents must have excellent children, just like ordinary parents may have different children. Otherwise, human society is too unfair, and the structure of society will be unstable.
Not all good habits are given by parents, otherwise why children of the same parents may be very different; Not all the bad things are due to poor parenting. Therefore, parents do not have to be arrogant.
For the problem that children are poor students, we first need to understand the concept of "poor students". The so-called "poor student" is actually a rather vague concept.
But most people still think that poor grades in school are bad students. But is it too narrow to judge a person based solely on "school grades"?
Second, we also need to reflect on the true meaning of education. Education is not a 100-meter race to win at the starting line, but a marathon to race with oneself. Learning is not about competing for championships, it's about being able to live a better life.
Third, we also need to reflect on whether our requirements for our children are reasonable.
In response to the prevailing domestic educational concept of quick success and short-term profit, education experts pointed out that on the one hand, this is the utilitarian thinking of education in the whole society, on the other hand, many parents are now pouring too many ideals into their children.
As independent adults, we don't need to expect children to realize our own ideals when practicing our own ideals.
The child's responsibility is his own responsibility, our responsibility is our own, and we each have our own responsibilities in life. We should not place our desires on our children for not achieving a certain ideal.
And, now, the external constraints and pressures that students are subjected to are very great. However, children in the growing stage can bear only a limited amount of pressure.
In this situation of internal and external anxiety, many children are in a state of mental tension, insomnia, sleeplessness, and even mental breakdown.
Labeled as a poor student, the child himself is the most uncomfortable, no matter how indifferent he/she appears on the surface – that could be a cover-up or psychological defense.
When the child feels that the whole world is against him, when the child feels that he is really a very poor, very stupid, very stupid, very useless person, parents should not remove the last straw that the child can rely on, but give them more support, encouragement and help.
Of course, parents support their children, does not mean ignoring the facts and blindly encouraging, should help children analyze which link is the problem, and how to solve it.
It should be known that grades cannot be a single hard indicator, and children's moral and vision, life and social skills are more important than scores.
For the current social environment of "quick success and quick profit", today's parents need to bear more pressure for their children, parents should bear more for their children, and look down on social competition.
In the process of educating children, do not seek temporary speed and efficiency, do not judge children by their current performance, respect the differences of each child, discover the strength of children, and let children discover the best of themselves.
In this way, the family is the source of the child's vitality, and the family can add points to the child's life.
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