Lead
Nian Lei has a son after marriage with her husband, and her mother-in-law has been taking her grandson.
The mother-in-law likes children and always nags her to have one more child, but they all use various excuses to prevaricate the past, and later the country fully opened up the second child, and the old man pushed her to have a second child even harder.
Nian Lei is in the ascending stage of her career, so she did not agree to the old man's request, even if the old man patted his chest to ensure that the second child would not let her worry.
In the end, she couldn't help her husband's sweet words, soft and hard, had to agree, a year later, the daughter was born, put together a "good" word.
However, the happy days did not last long, the father-in-law accidentally broke his leg in his hometown, and the mother-in-law needed to go back to take care of him.
The mother-in-law could not continue to take care of the two young children, and the nanny invited by the two children could not take care of the two children, and in desperation, Nian Lei had to resign to take care of the children.
Since Nian Lei became a full-time mother, her life has changed dramatically, and her life with her palms up is not good.
Her husband only calls her as a nanny, she usually has to take two children, the big things and small things in the family are managed by herself, she is tired and exhausted every day, but her husband is sleeping on the side.
Once, the child had a fever at night, her husband had to go to a meeting and could not open her body, she took her two children to the hospital alone, looking at the sleeping child with tears, she was physically and mentally exhausted.
Remembering the various bittersweet and bittersweet of her own baby this year, she was sad and could not help but send a message in the circle of friends, "Originally yearning for the happy life of the second child, I did not expect that I lived to become a single mother, everyone do not learn that I have a second child, the economic pressure is large, the manpower is not enough, it is too difficult to raise a second child!" ”
Thinking of the past, she regretted that she was not in the beginning.
Older women want a second child, what practical issues to consider?
1. Face the choice of stay-at-home mom or office worker
Some mothers became full-time mothers when they had one child, and when they returned to the workplace, when their careers were booming, they accidentally became pregnant with a second child, wanted to leave the child, but tangled with their own work.
If you quit your job again, then look for a job again after 3 years, your age and experience are not as good as those of young people, and your resignation will affect the quality of life of the whole family.
If you continue to be an office worker, you will face the regret of not being able to accompany your child's growth.
It is said that the most important thing for a child is from birth to three years old, and many mothers want to be able to witness every step of their child's growth.
Expectant mothers who want to conceive a second child need to make a difficult choice between full-time mothers and office workers, choosing the former to accompany the child but lose the career, choosing the latter to continue the career but not to accompany the child.
2. Child rearing
Although parents are the guardians of their children, they are too busy earning money to bring their children personally, so this burden will fall on grandparents, or grandparents.
If the elderly can't help, then young people need to consider whether to hire a nanny or a mother to take the child, or whether the father resigns to take the child.
It takes nearly 3 years for a child to go from the time he lands to the time he or she can attend kindergarten, which means that one of the three years needs to take the child all year round.
3. The physical fitness of the husband and wife
Qinzi and her husband both like to exercise, and the two insist on exercising every day, and they will also take their children to climb the mountain on weekends.
Although both are over 40 years old, they look only in their 30s because of long-term exercise.
Qinzi originally only needed a child, Qinzi accidentally conceived a second child, Dabao has always wanted a companion, and finally, she left the baby, and now the two children have a good relationship.
Qinzi because the husband and wife have good physical fitness, it is easy to conceive a second child, if the woman is older and weaker, in fact, it will be very hard to have a second child, too much to suffer.
4. Economic pressure
Xiao Ning was born with a daughter, and later the daughter grew up and went to middle school, Xiao Ning felt that her life was idle, there was no sustenance, and the day when the child was not there, she always felt very difficult.
The husband has always wanted a second child, so the husband and wife simply have another child, the second child is also a daughter, because of the worry that the nanny will not take good care of the child, and Xiaoning is 40 years old, simply retired in advance, and took the child full-time.
Fortunately, her husband's salary can cover the expenses of the whole family, allowing her to carry children full-time for three years.
Raising a child is a costly expense, and if you can't afford a babysitter, then one party must take the child full-time, meaning that the financial pressure is all borne by the spouse.
If there is still a mortgage and a car loan at home, heavy financial pressure will make the couple breathless.
5. Dabao's attitude
In a family with only one child, the child is loved by the whole family, everyone will meet his requirements, and he enjoys this only love.
However, having a second child means having two children, he is no longer the youngest child in the family, and the love of mom and dad will be divided in half to the other child.
He is afraid that the second child will take away the love of his parents, so he will resist the baby incomparably, so if the mother-to-be wants the second child, she must consult with Dabao in advance and obtain his consent and understanding.
epilogue
The desire to have a second child is very beautiful, but the reality is very cruel, 40-year-old mother sent a circle of friends message in the middle of the night, regret having a second child said the voice of most mothers.
Having a second child, no one to bring, no money to raise, between work and taking care of the child, the mother-to-be has no way to achieve a balance, either the financial pressure is concentrated on one party, or the burden of bringing the child is handed over to the other party.
Dad earns money, mom with baby, it seems to have reached a balance, but more and more heavy economic pressure, but so that couples have to face the problem, increased expenses, quality of life plummeted, can not see the head of the desperate days will crush people.
If you really want a second child, the expectant mother needs to consider these 5 practical issues, the child must be brought by someone, and sufficient maintenance funds are prepared.
If you want to be a working mother, coordinate the distribution of work and children, and want to be a full-time mother, then the economic reserves must be arranged in advance.