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Focus on "Sun Chasing Education"

Every day, I read about the methods, practicalities, and scientific parenting dry goods

1. Lifelong learning grows with children

How to focus on cultivating children's high IQ in infancy and children's high emotional intelligence in childhood needs to be learned; how to help children deal with problems in growth and turn unfavorable factors into favorable factors also need to be learned.

Parents need to learn, and children need to learn. Parents and children need to learn together and learn from each other.

Therefore, it is necessary to actively participate in the parent school, subscribe to some tutoring publications and books, continuous learning, lifelong learning.

The famous educator Locke said: "Mistakes in education are more important than other mistakes." Educational mistakes are the same as mismatched medicines, the first mistake must not be remedied by the second and third times, and their impact cannot be washed away for life. Parents are the child's first teacher, in the "non-reworkable education", of course, we must learn in advance, think and teach!

2. True love and strictness combine

Love is "giving, caring, responsible, respecting, knowing, and being just about oneself, to others, and to nature." ”

True love is love that is consistent with the law, with the moral norms of society. Therefore, love to gamble, insert knives for friends in both ribs and do not ask right or wrong, not true love. Nor is coddling true love.

Coddling is excessive love, that is, pampering, appeasement, accommodation, and indulgence. Coddling makes children lazy, weak, selfish, and ruthless. The most serious can destroy the child. For children and teenagers: "The so-called 'true love' is to treat the child as a real person, respect his personality, meet his needs, and guide his development, without seeking private interests." ”

Respect for the personality of young people, the most important thing is to respect the four major rights of children: the right to survival, the right to development, the right to protection, and the right to participate. Other rights of the child, such as the right to name, the right to health, the right to health care, the right to parental care, the right to privacy, the right to recreation, the right to leisure, the right to expression... etc., should also be respected.

Strictness means that it conforms to laws and moral norms, conforms to the age characteristics of children, and the things that children promise, we must resolutely do, have a beginning and an end, develop habits, and form quality. Never say anything, give up halfway.

At present, many problems in the family are mostly caused by insufficient understanding and respect for children.

3. Combine speech, body and mind

Teaching is about educating children through well-founded reasoning, including appropriate criticism. However, children do not attach great importance to the persuasion and education of their parents, so they must be taught by example.

Teaching by example is that parents' every move, every word and deed in their daily life plays an exemplary role, and subtly affects their children. However, some children do not buy the parents' teaching, and even satirize the parents for "pretending" and "inappropriate", so they must carry out "heart teaching".

The first thing to teach is to be communicative, and to be aware of the heart, and to be aware is to be in agreement. Affection is easy for parents to receive. Mind teaching should also pay attention to cultivating children's emotional intelligence (EQ).

The premise of heart teaching is respect, understanding, trust, and care for children. The purpose of mind teaching is to revolve around habits (including language habits and thinking habits), implemented into behavior, and the goal is good quality.

What is quality? From the ideological level, what cannot be forgotten is quality; from the physical level, what cannot be changed for a while is quality. For example, the thick body and limbs of weightlifters formed over a long period of time are difficult to change for a while. The ballet dancer's slender body and limbs, slender waist, are also difficult to change at the moment. That's how physically they are.

The main way to form quality is habit, and habits become qualities when they are strengthened to a certain extent.

4. Honest and trustworthy habits

The people do not believe or stand, the family does not believe or harmonize, and the country does not believe or prosper. The way to success lies in "abiding by integrity". As a moral category of human culture, integrity is the most important virtue of human beings, the basis for the survival and development of a society, and the bridge of a harmonious society.

Integrity is an integral part of the perfect personality. We must not give up because of the phenomenon that "honest people suffer losses" sometimes appear in today's society.

According to a survey by an authoritative newspaper in China, modern people are exposed to an average of 38 lies every day. While a well-intentioned promise is an embellishment of life, it protects the self-esteem of oneself or one's friends. It is inevitable in some special occasions for a well-meaning liar to please others and avoid conflict by telling a small, insignificant lie, but to avoid absolutely a lie made up for a special self-interested purpose. Therefore, we must learn to discern malicious lies and protect ourselves from harm.

The reason why zeng participated in the slaughter of pigs and godsons has become a good story lies in its moral significance. Although killing a pig on a shelf that was growing fat caused some economic losses, it was still worth it to start from the integrity of the godson.

Student integrity begins with not cheating on exams and from not copying homework. Only by paying attention to honesty and serious study style can we cultivate students with real quality. The University of Virginia in the United States has established its own "honor system", and each student solemnly promises: "I guarantee with my honor that I have not lied, deceived, and stolen." This oath has created countless useful talents in society.

5. Habits of optimism and happiness

Life is like a mirror, you laugh at it, it laughs at you; you cry at it, it cries at you. You point the camera of life at the positive side of things (including yourself) and you laugh, otherwise you cry.

Every child wants their parents to be full of spring breeze, talk and laugh. The parents of the old iron face, opening their mouths and closing their mouths to train people, "the eyes are open and scolded to turn off the lights", not only live tired, but also affect the formation of the child's healthy personality.

What is happiness? Happiness is a state of mind pleasure, a habit, a way of thinking, a feeling. It is not determined by the amount of personal property, the level of status, or the nobility of occupation.

Life is a symphony of joy and pain, and to remove pain does not reveal happiness. Some parents blindly "give" their children happiness and bear all the pain themselves, and the result is that the child does not feel happy because he does not know what pain is.

How to be a happy parent?

(1) It is to imagine happiness, to think about anything, to think more about yourself and your children.

(2) It is to enjoy happiness, and happiness comes to the whole body to enjoy happiness.

(3) It is to recall happiness, happiness to go, often reminisce about happiness, and the heart is always happy.

(4) It is to shorten the troubles, the troubles do not come and do not think in advance; the troubles come and send them away as soon as possible; the troubles go away and then do not recall, and "sweep it out of the door".

(5) Is it to face the reality, even if he loses one foot, is not much happier than the Japanese youth Ototake Yoko, who has no limbs but wrote the best-selling book "Five Bodies Are Not Satisfied"? The general attitude is "change it if it can be changed, and accept it when it cannot be changed." ”

There is a "master of happiness" who puts "happy happy, how can it be so happy!" "The strips are packed in a drawer, read every day, and really happy.

6. Do not grow in place of children

"Growth" is the process of children's development of intellectual, non-intellectual, and physical strength, and the process of children changing from natural people to social people.

In this process, children need to practice, explore, and gain direct experience, and also need to learn book knowledge on the basis of direct experience, through the explanation and teaching of others... Gain indirect experience.

The game is the first to learn. Through playing with water, playing with sand, catching fish, hide-and-seek, snow fighting, shaping snowmen, etc., children understand the nature of water, the nature of sand, and know that snow will melt when it is hot,......。 At the same time, I exercised my brain and exercised my limbs. Hands are external brains, feet are external hearts, more hands, children's brains develop well, children with more feet, the heart is stronger than others.

Housework is the "encyclopedia of life". The knowledge learned and exercised in housework is too much. The family is a school for cultivating habits, an enlightening classroom for learning and interaction, and an ideal place for emotional education,......。 Unfortunately, we have not yet fully developed these educational resources.

Growth is irreplaceable. But many parents must take their place. They took care of all the life and service of the children. Because of the parents' big package, the child's active and curious nature is not developed; the need to be exercised, to succeed, to be satisfied, and to be happy in the course of labor is not met, so there is often a sense of depression and is often unhappy.

Instead of growing up, some children with incomplete development or deformed personalities have been raised. Therefore, it is crucial to give children a certain amount of space for children to grow on their own.

7. Discover and praise your child

Children are always particularly eager to be affirmed by others. If a child lacks the kind praise of his parents in his childhood, it may affect the development of his personality and may even become a lifelong misfortune.

All popular parents and teachers have a pair of "loving eyes". In a very short time, they can find the child's shining point and discover his strengths.

In the face of Ma Yue, who repeatedly declared that "she must die before the start of school on September 1st", Teacher Li Shengzhen found that there was still something "hope" in her heart that attracted her. The result not only saved Ma Yue's life, but also sent her to a prestigious university in Beijing in 2001.

Zhou Hong is also a master of discovery. He often wears a thousand-fold magnifying glass and telescope to look for the advantages of the deaf child Tingting, which greatly stimulates the child's enthusiasm and perseverance in learning.

Children are very sensitive to the evaluation of adults, especially parents, you love him, like her, he can feel it through your eyes. Once you accept the message of your love, he can hear what you say in his heart.

You turn what you ask of your child into encouragement, and the child will "cooperate with you."

The smart child is exaggerated, and wherever you praise him, he will work hard, and more and more effort, of course, he will become smarter.

Stupid kids are scolded. The more you call him stupid, the more he loses self-confidence, the less he tries, the more stupid he becomes, and he finally becomes a stupid child.

Without praise and encouragement, anyone loses self-confidence.

8. Hold your child accountable

I often hear some parents say: "My children are not filial piety", "My children lose their homework", "My children often lose things".

And ask about the corrective measures. The situation is different, but the reasons are more or less the same: children do not develop the habit of taking responsibility and taking responsibility for themselves.

Responsibility is the foundation of being a human being. If you want your child to be a good person, a useful person, you should teach him to be responsible for himself, to others, to his family, to society, to his country and nation, and to the earth in which we live.

First, impose responsibility.

For example, getting up on time in the morning is your responsibility; learning homework is also your responsibility, so when you go home, do your homework before playing; ...

Second, self-inflicted must be self-inflicted.

One parent talked about her approach to nurturing responsibility for her children.

The school rehearsed the program, the child forgot to bring the tape when she left, and when she called home to ask her mother to send it, the parents firmly disagreed. "It's you who forgot to bring it, you come back and get it yourself." From then on, children never forget to bring things.

When the child graduated from primary school, the money managed by the hand was more than 200 yuan, and the school had said "forget it", but the parents insisted on letting the child check it one by one, and finally made up for the omission of more than 120 yuan.

The alarm clock for calling the bed rang, but the child still couldn't get up. The parents just didn't call her, and as a result, they were punished by the teacher. Because getting up on time is the child's responsibility.

Third, talk to your child about your troubles.

Don't always say "you're still young, you can't do it", "Parents are willing to die of exhaustion". And to tell the child about the difficulties in the family, stimulate the child's sense of responsibility, and let the child share a part.

As long as you let go of the exercise of the child, dare to press the burden, the child will gradually become stronger.

9. Care for and guide children to learn

According to the survey, 8% of students go to school because they like to read, 8% are elementary school students, 11% are junior high school students, and only 4.3% are high school students.

Therefore, it is crucial to establish an attitude of love of learning and learning. Because, cognitively, emotionally, and in terms of attitude, with such preparation, overcoming any difficulties in learning will make me easier and more confident. For learning, many people think that "if you learn well, you can be happy", but in fact, the reverse is true: "When you are happy, you can learn well".

Second, active learning forms an active personality.

Initiative will be vivid and active, and initiative will create development. It is often said that "stupid birds fly first", but in fact, most of the birds that fly first are smart birds. They think first, act first, anticipate in front, take the initiative in everything, always take the initiative, and always stand in an invincible position. Where is such a "bird" stupid!

Again, cultivate interest. Interest can lead to a state of obsession with the pursuit of knowledge. It is often said that interest produces diligence, but in fact, diligence can also produce interest.

Also, pay attention to the method. The method is the golden key to success. Take a little time to learn the method, and its rate of return is high.

Finally, mental health is a learning booster. Learning a little humanities, participating in some cultural and sports activities, and forming a healthy and upward group of friends and companions are all beneficial to learning.

10. Home-school cooperation, communication first

Schools and families are the main places where children receive their education. Therefore, it is necessary to communicate frequently and form a synergy in the same direction in order to achieve the best results.

First of all, parents should trust the school and trust the teacher from the ideological and emotional point of view. To overcome the shielding of their own children, casually accuse and discuss the bad words and deeds of the school teacher. When there are opinions on schools and teachers, they should be resolved through normal channels.

Second, attend the parent-teacher conference on time and have a special record book (from which you can learn about the child's growth process). Usually, frequently, and proactively contact the teacher.

Third, put forward the child's legitimate demands in the form of gratitude, and give the teacher enough face, because the parents are facing "a tree", the teacher is facing a "forest", and it is normal for the parents and schools to have differences in understanding of certain issues.

Fourth, treat the teacher's negative information about the child rationally. The more the teacher complains, the more parents must see the child's strengths and shining things to protect the child's self-confidence.

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