Without Gu Ailing's original family and resource background, how should ordinary children work hard?
After reading so many reports about Gu Ailing, I more and more admit the fact that we ordinary people, at least I have no way to create such a family atmosphere and provide financial support for Ailing's open life like Gu's mother.
But I still hope that when raising children, I can let children learn from Gu Ailing, especially her kind of "big heart" that never gives up in the face of setbacks and pressures, and is calm and calm.
What makes Gu Ailing's strong "big heart"?
1. Daily hard training is her strength
Johnson once said: "Confidence and ability usually go hand in hand."
That is to say, the confidence of confidence is not empty, not you tell yourself "I want to be confident", you can really be confident in an instant.
Self-confidence comes from the accumulation of your ability to do something, from every day, every hour, every second, every little thing you do to your goal, every detail is the accumulation of self-confidence.
Gu Ailing's self-confidence is also obtained little by little.
At the age of 8, she officially joined the American Free Ski Team, and her peers were playing and resting while she was training. In order to participate in training, every weekend you have to take a 4-hour bus ride to the ski slopes. And after the end of training, I will repeatedly watch my skiing images and improve my ability through review.
Insisting on one year is good to say, and it may not be difficult to insist on two years. But Gu Ailing persisted for ten years, and only then did he have the confidence and fortitude that people are looking at now.
As Gu Ailing shared: "It is good to see my news on the Internet, so people will think that I am a genius, but in fact, I work very hard, and my own side of not being easy is not shared with the world." ”
Therefore, no matter what genius girl is, it is just the effort and accumulation day after day. The more solid the accumulation in normal times, at the critical moment, self-confidence can be steadily built.
2. Firm goal, strong self-driving force
Gu Ailing is a person with a strong sense of purpose.
In terms of learning, from the age of seven or eight, I made up my mind to enter Stanford University, and now I have achieved it;
In sports, at the age of 10, he set his goal of participating in the 2022 Olympic Games and being on the podium, and now he has achieved it.
She is very clear about what she wants, and she is very determined, always working towards this goal.
This sense of purpose allows her to have a steady stream of internal drive, that is to say, she does not need the thrust of the outside world, and she has a strong willingness to move forward.
3. Positive psychological cues
There is a "Pygmalion" effect in psychology, which says that eager expectation and praise have unimaginable energy, can stimulate human potential, and change a person's behavior.
That is to say, if a person is given high hopes and receives positive psychological cues, they will become more confident and more likely to show excellent traits. On the contrary, a person is often not favored, has not received praise and praise, often receives negative psychological cues, and has a high probability of being mediocre in behavior.
Gu Ailing's mother, Gu Yan, was asked in an interview how to raise such an excellent daughter, she said:
"When Ailing first went to school, the teacher told me not to correct the children's typos and not to discourage the children's creativity; praise them less for their intelligence and more praise for their efforts."
Gu Ailing's grandmother also often encouraged Ailing, "Our family Ailing is the best", "There is nothing you can't do." ”
It can be said that Gu Ailing has received a lot of positive hints in the process of growing up, which has also created more self-confidence and self-identity for Ailing.
This tells us that in the face of their children's achievements, parents should never be stingy with praise.
Every positive encouragement given to the child will become the driving force for the child when he is lonely and helpless, and he will get great encouragement and comfort from the psychology.
How to give your child positive psychological cues?
1) Find the shining point in the child: Always remember that the good child is exaggerated, not scolded.
2) When the child makes a mistake, discuss the matter: only express opinions on specific things, do not involve other things, and do not rise personal attacks;
3) Accept the imperfections of the child: No one is perfect, and the child must have one problem or another. To understand the mistakes, failures, and problems that children have, we must believe that everything can find ways to improve and solve.
Only such a mentality can make parents not anxious in the process of parenting. The parent's mentality is put away, and the child's heart will become stable.
So, back to the theme, can't change the child's original family, can't get so many educational resources, then directly let the child lie flat, give up the effort?
After watching Gu Ailing's growth experience, I realized:
Even if we don't have the golden background resume of Mother Gu, we don't have such a strong family foundation, and we invest so much money in the cultivation of children's strengths like Mother Gu.
There is no living environment for Gu Ailing in China and the United States, and the dividends of Sino-US educational resources that he enjoys.
But we can still let children learn from Gu Ailing the perseverance to face difficulties, the persistence in the face of dreams, and the firmness in the face of setbacks. As long as there is a dream in the heart, there is a road under the feet, and the effort will never stop.
After all, more important than the family is the effort, only the effort is eternal. #这才是家庭教育 #
