1. After my wife was on a business trip, my sister-in-law asked me to go to her house at night and said that there were very important things to tell me. With a nervous mood, when I arrived, I saw a golden retriever lying in the doorway. The sister-in-law said

1. After my wife was on a business trip, my sister-in-law asked me to go to her house at night and said that there were very important things to tell me.

With a nervous mood, when I arrived, I saw a golden retriever lying in the doorway.

The sister-in-law said: I am going to go on my honeymoon with the leader, and you will help me watch the golden retriever for a few days.

After a few days, the golden retriever gave birth to a litter of small golden retrievers, and I showed my sister-in-law like a treasure.

When my sister-in-law saw the photo, she gritted her teeth and said to me, "What did you do to my golden retriever?" ”

2. Today my mother asked my cousin, "How's it going, saying you went on a blind date?" Cousin: "Don't mention it, as soon as you mention my anger, you will come up." Mother: "What's going on, didn't you tell you to start early when you met the good one?" Cousin: "I did the same thing, the pig's trotters were just brought up and packed and taken away." Mom: "You deserve to be single!?"

3. The girlfriend talked about a rich second-generation boyfriend, and the two just finished their wedding yesterday. Today, the girlfriend complained to her husband: Your mother is too anxious! Every day she said she wanted to hold her grandson early. Her husband said: Mom is in a hurry, but Dad never says much. The girlfriend pouted and said: Dad didn't say anything in his mouth, but he wrapped up this "Sun Tzu Art of War" all day and shook it in front of me!

4. The sister-in-law scored 688 points in the college entrance examination, and the admission score of Tsinghua University was 687 points. At that time, I could spoil my sister-in-law and feel that my luck was too good! She happily sent a circle of friends: Haha, what luck am I, the admission line is 687 points, I just took the test 688 points! The father-in-law commented in the following seconds: Haha, good coincidence, my daughter also scored 688 points in the college entrance examination! At that time, the sister-in-law was stunned, and replied at the bottom: Dad, do you have any other daughters besides me?

5. My ex-girlfriend called me and said she had cancer and was in the middle of her life, and asked if I could bring some food to see her so that she could eat and go on the road. In the spirit of humanitarianism, the basic principle of not loving and not hurting, I took her like to eat in a hurry. Hurrying to her house, I saw that she was rosy and full of breath. Not at all sick, I asked anxiously, "What the hell is wrong, is it a misdiagnosis?" Girlfriend: "Nothing, this is not today no one at home cooking, I am lazy not to move, just think of you!" 」 Sure enough, it is lung cancer, lazy cancer advanced!

6. My brother had a girlfriend, her hometown is rural, and she has been busy with the autumn harvest recently, so he took me to my mother-in-law's house to help. On the way back he said to me: My girlfriend has a sister, who is not bad looking, and is particularly good at housework... I understood what he meant, just to let me perform well and see if there was a chance... Then when I got there, I worked very hard, excitedly finished the work with my friends, and my little aunt also replied: The young man is diligent, that is, the temperament has not kept up. I asked dude what does this mean? My friend didn't hide it and said bluntly: help others work for free, even if you refuse, be polite!?

7. The sister-in-law has given birth to three children, and her reputation on our side is very bad, and she cannot marry out. The mother-in-law was particularly anxious, so she asked the matchmaker to introduce her to men from other places. That time the sister-in-law went on a blind date, in order to break the embarrassment, the sister-in-law picked up a bun and ate it, smiled and said: Since I was a child, I have loved to eat meat buns. The man smiled and asked: How many can you eat at a time? The sister-in-law replied casually: 30 starts. Man: Waiter, bring us 30 meat buns!!

8. On the weekend, I upset my wife again, and she gambled not to wash my clothes. Just now I said to my wife: It doesn't matter if you don't wash my clothes, I have found someone who is willing to wash my clothes for me, and you still know this person. The daughter-in-law was about to lose her temper and yelled: Who is that person? I said leisurely: No one, just myself, I wash myself!

9. The little niece had to sleep with me at night, and just two minutes after she got into the bed, the little niece said with a look of disgust: Auntie, don't you sweep the bed, what is in the bed, kill me, I quickly open the quilt. A smell of stinky farts greeted her, and the little niece laughed breathlessly: My mother said that I must have farted too much baked sweet potatoes today, let me sleep with you!

10. When I came home from work in the evening, I suddenly felt very hungry, probably eating a little less at noon. So I said to my daughter-in-law: I'll go downstairs to buy some dinner, what do you want to eat? The daughter-in-law said: I am trying to lose weight, I do not eat. Then I went downstairs and bought a lot of barbecues, skewers and bought small wines back. You don't say that women talk quite well, so much food I stunned is not a bite to eat. #Funny##Funny Funny##Funny Humor Anecdotes##Cold Jokes#[Thank You] Please leave your valuable praise, that's my motivation to continue to be happy.