This is the 507th original of Dumb Dad
Dumb Daddy Parenting Special Author: Yin Yin
01.
A few days ago, in the short film "Future Champions" at the opening ceremony of the Winter Olympics, the picture of a group of cute babies playing on the ice was really cute and exploded, and won the love of countless audiences.
Among them, there is such an impressive scene:
In the picture, the cute baby of the flesh is unimpeded on the snow, and the skiing action of the clouds and the flow of water makes all the adults ashamed of themselves.
There is also a puppy next to it, and it is moving forward with Mengwa!
Netizens have said: "The heart has been cute." ”
The cute baby in the picture is named Bebe, as early as last year, Bebe, who was only 11 months old, was popular all over the Internet because of a ski video.
11 months! How can you navigate the snow when you can't even walk steadily?
Babe's mother told us the truth in an interview:
It turned out that Babe's father and mother happened to be learning to ski and wanted to play with their children.
Unexpectedly, my daughter stood on the snowboard not only not afraid, but also very excited. They tried to let the child slide a little, the whole process basically did not wrestle, and had a lot of fun!
In the interview, Babe's mother said:
"On the first day of skiing, my daughter was half-squatting and afraid to stand up. After a few days of skating, she has made great progress, and now she dares to get up from the snowboard and dance the whole time, I did not expect that she still has the talent for skiing.
I usually participate in outdoor activities with my children's fathers, such as skiing, cycling, camping, marathons, etc., and whenever I have the opportunity, I will bring my daughter to participate together. ”
After the Olympic short film exploded, netizens said that Babe is the future ski champion!
Babe's mother said that she did not have to train her child to become a champion, and she and the child's father respected the child.
"At present, the child is still too young, until she is two or three years old, she may have her own ideas, after talking, if my mother wants to learn to ski, skate, or learn other sports, her father and I will definitely support her to try and encourage her to do it." 」
Compared with the ardent expectations of netizens, Babe's mother did not force her child to specialize in skiing because Babe showed her skiing talent, but respected the child's own wishes and went with the flow.
Children have the will to make progress little by little driven by interest, and then create greater achievements.
Don't make choices for your child because of a momentary interest, and guide your interest into ability to guide your child throughout life.
"A good mother is better than a good teacher" mentioned: For the education of children, everything starts from "seeking truth from facts".
Learning a skill is for one's own experience of happiness, not worldly success. The joy of such hard work is the most successful experience that children need to have.
In this process, parents need to give enough respect and affirmation to be a guide on the way for their children to explore.
02.
The famous literary scholar Emerson once said: "We are born with a certain talent." ”
Especially in childhood, every child may show a talent for something. But it is only when the talent is accepted that he can play it better.
But in real life, most parents will hold the idea that "parents love their children, then they will be far-reaching" and force their children to do "right" things under worldly standards.
As a parent, the ardent expectation of jackie chan is certainly worth understanding.
Hoping that your child will get a high score and a good career development is a very normal expectation.
However, we will also see such tragedies:
Obviously, he has the endorsement of a famous school and is a good child in the eyes of others, but after work, he has repeatedly failed, lost all self-confidence, and even become a depressed patient with self-contempt and inferiority.
Behind this, most of them are the curse of the control of parents "in the name of love".
"Strange Story" once had such a debate: If you can customize the perfect life for your child with one click, will you press the button?
Parents fantasize:
"From childhood, I was a bully, grew up and was admitted to Qingbei, entered the enterprise as an executive, and earned an annual salary of millions."
"I have excellent grades from an early age, I grew up and entered the system, my work is stable, and I can give my family a long face."
"Children are sensible and obedient, take the first place in their homework, and become the envy of relatives and friends."
Is this really the perfect life?
Chen Ming, a university teacher, told the truth: "I found that the essence of family education seems to be a reproduction of the concept of life. ”
Parents blindly plan the so-called "perfect life" for their children according to their own ideas, which seems to be good for their children, but in fact, they are fulfilling their unfulfilled wishes.
The idea of "not being respected" will also be deeply rooted in the child's heart.
Once this thought occurs, it will not only lead to the diminishment of the child's dreams, but also may induce more serious mental illness.
Jiang Jing in "Female Psychologist" is like this.
Jiang Jing is a girl who was forced by her mother to learn piano, and her mother, under the banner of being good for her, all kinds of coercion and inducement, let the child grow up in the cage of love.
When she grew up, Jiang Jing did have remarkable piano achievements, but she also suffered from severe binge eating disorder, and even frequently gave birth.
Obviously it is love, but why does it turn into a sharp blade and hurt the child deeply?
Because parents love with control.
Every child has their own interests, some are more popular, such as reading books, playing ball, some are more niche, such as like to study insects, love to play Rubik's Cube...
Most parents face their children's hobbies and will classify good and bad according to their own ideas and utilitarianism.
Encourage hobbies that you think are conducive to further education. Those "harmful" hobbies are ruthlessly destroyed.
Education that loses respect cannot cultivate children with mature minds.
They do their best to arrange for the child, but they are always in a hurry, and eventually destroy the child's original characteristics.
03.
The philosopher James said: "The most ardent requirement of human nature is the desire to be affirmed." ”
If you want to educate your children well, first learn to respect your children.
As a parent, the child is not only your child, but also a thoughtful, emotional, and independent individual.
Rather than imposing control, enough respect and guidance is more important for them to learn to shield themselves from the wind and rain.
The parents of Ke Zishuo, a fifth-grade elementary school student, have been a textbook parenting guide in this regard.
Last year, in order to complete his science homework, Xiao Ke asked his mother for a mineral water bottle from Nongfu Mountain Spring as a container.
Good at observation, he saw the birds on the water bottle and the text introduction, felt different from the impression, and flashed a thought in his mind: "How can this look be a pine flower sparrow?" ”
In order to verify, he flipped through the bird book that his parents bought, and sure enough, he found a difference:
The Sparrowhawk has only five wing fingers, while the bird on the water bottle has six. Not only that, but the shape of the two heads is also slightly different.
He excitedly told his parents the news.
In order to determine whether it is artistic processing, my father found many pattern references for artistic processing.
At the same time, he also contacted the reporter to ask the official personnel of Nongfu Spring for verification.
In the end, not only the child's "more authentic" was recognized, but also the thanks of Nongfu Shanquan in the official Weibo post, and the school was given 10,000 yuan of library cards.
Netizens have said: "Children are too lucky to meet such parents." ”
Indeed, after the child raised questions, he did not perfunctory, let alone felt that it was a waste of time, and even supported him with practical actions to "boldly question and cautiously seek verification".
In such an environment, it is difficult for children to be good.
Children who are respected by their parents have a high degree of self-recognition, are more confident and assertive, have the ability to think independently when encountering things, and can also make decisions according to their hearts.
At the same time, they are more able to adapt to their nature, stimulate their potential, and become a better version of themselves.
04.
As parents, we have high hopes for the future of our children, hoping that they can not take detours and have a bright future.
But what kind of person a child becomes should not depend on the expectations of their parents, but on themselves.
Let him run with his hands and feet free, to experience the beautiful scenery along the way;
Let him be with the things he likes and enjoy the joy of dreams;
Let him try out all kinds of interests and understand the success gains and losses firsthand.
Respect the nature of children and help children live their own lives.
Not being bound and not controlling the autonomy of children is what every parent should do most.
Children who are respected by their parents can truly live their own wonderful!
About the author: Yin Yin, a post-90s Internet person, wants to share poetry and fireworks with you.
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