1, secretly played with the mother-in-law's mobile phone, found that her Alipay spending amount of up to 1.2 million, I immediately cashed out 1.2 million to my mobile phone, took the train and ran. Meet one on the train

1, secretly played with the mother-in-law's mobile phone, found that her Alipay spending amount of up to 1.2 million, I immediately cashed out 1.2 million to my mobile phone, took the train and ran. Met a very beautiful girl on the train. I pretended to stare at her inadvertently for a moment, and who knew that the girl suddenly said to me: The phone is under me. I gave her the phone and she made a call directly with her own phone and returned it to me. I was immediately happy, is this the legendary peach blossom luck? After a while I received a text from her: You zipper is not pulled.

2. After the father-in-law retires, he has a pension of 58,000 yuan per month. He bought a bicycle worth 50,000 yuan and rode it every day to exercise. That time, the father-in-law rode to a red light, and a large truck came to an abrupt stop 3 meters in front of him. The father-in-law shouted directly to the truck driver: "Don't kill you!" The truck driver was stunned for half a day when he heard this, and he couldn't say a word. Then, he thought about it and felt that his father-in-law had robbed his own lines!

3, go shopping with my girlfriend at 10:30 to send her back to the dormitory, walk downstairs, I asked the security guard: "Big brother, can you still go in now?" The security guard glanced at my girlfriend and said, "Okay, let's go in!" Then I turned to my girlfriend and said, "What to do, it's too late, can't go in, or let's go to the hotel!" The girlfriend didn't seem to believe it, so she also ran over to the security guard and asked, "Uncle, can we go in?" The security guard glanced at me and said, "Yes." Then my girlfriend turned to me and said, "I really can't get in, so let's go!" ”

4. Early in the morning on the weekend, her mother took Shizuka to the market, and her mother asked Shizuka to try on a pair of shoes, which made Shizuka feel both happy and surprised. When she learned that the shoes were bigger than Shizuka's feet, her mother quickly paid for it. I doubtfully reminded my mother again: I am wearing too big shoes, do I want to change my size? Mom said casually: Bigger than your feet is right, your brother must be dressed just right... At that moment, Shizuka was choked almost out of breath...

5. After marriage, my sister and brother-in-law quarreled for the first time, and my brother-in-law was admitted to the hospital. I asked, my brother-in-law should not be out of the hospital for two weeks, and his whole body was injured. I wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes for him and said to him, "In the future, if my sister does anything, remember not to fight back, run if you can run, if you can't run, you will hold your head tightly!" "After the brother-in-law listened, he no longer had to endure, and cried like a child...

6, the sister-in-law is 9 months pregnant, and everyone says that she is a female treasure in her belly. Yesterday she went for a maternity check-up, and the doctor solemnly told her that she was a girl. Suddenly, the sister-in-law trembled and said to the doctor: My stomach hurts and I am going to give birth! The doctor said: Then you immediately call your family to come, and the hospital is ready to help you give birth! Sister-in-law: Useless call will not come, I can be alone! The doctor looked surprised: You came to do a pregnancy test, and no one in your family accompanied you? Sister-in-law: My husband is on a business trip, and my mother-in-law is taking care of her sister-in-law, who has just given birth to a son. Doctor: Isn't it? So the child you're carrying is from their family, right? The sister-in-law said calmly: According to the physiological, but according to the psychological is not!?

7, I went on a blind date, the other party was actually my ex-wife's sister, my former sister-in-law, we were facing each other, the atmosphere was quite awkward. I had a few small talk with her and was preparing to leave, but she said that the two of us were not young, and everyone knew the roots, or we would just get together! I was about to reject her, and she went on to say that my dowry was thirty million. I was stunned and asked her where did she get so much money, she smiled and said, I divorced my ex-husband, I split half of the family property!?

8, and my husband took a nap, I woke up but did not open my eyes, my husband thought I was still sleeping, I felt that he had been rubbing his hands on my face very seriously, and from time to time gently kissed, just when I thought he was going to sigh like a general TV drama " Wife you are so beautiful!" And so on, the result of this light sentence: "Such a big head, marinated into pork head meat is enough for several large plates!" ”

9, a big aunt went to the bank counter to pick up 800, the teller said to go to the ATM to pick up, at this time the security guard came in and asked: "Who is Bentley outside?" Big Mom said, "Mine! The lobby manager asked busily: "Is the big mother withdrawing money?" Come, take it here....I'll give you the operation..." Big Mom smiled at the lobby manager: "Good, next time look for you." The teller saw the situation, did not move, and looked for an opportunity to add a WeChat to the aunt. In the afternoon, she finally saw the medical records of her mother, high blood pressure, high blood sugar... During the day, Big Mama's medical records fell on the ground outside, and there happened to be a Bentley outside!!!

10, the ex-wife was taken in by an old rich man, gave me 20 million to get a divorce, I immediately agreed. Now that I've been divorced for many years, I recently heard that she opened a hot pot restaurant in the center of the high street, so I went in to celebrate. After eating, I went to pay, and she refused to accept it. So I put the money on the counter and left, not expecting her to chase it out and return it to me. I told her, "It's not easy to do business, and I won't come here after you." She said, "I don't charge you money just so you don't come in the future!" ”

11. I have been liking class flowers for a long time, but class flowers are relatively high and cold, and I never take the initiative to talk to people. I am a person who is more likely to be shy, and I dare not confess, and the unexpected encounter is also particularly difficult! After the roommate knew, he gave me an idea, let me take the ball and play the class flower, and then met. I feel that this is a good idea. But that day, I was so my feet that BanHua was kicked to the ground by me! Later, I sent her to the hospital, and Ban Hua really remembered me, and she hated me to the bone!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #