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The child's personality is affected by the personality of the parents and the original family, but many parents of the second-child family find that although they are both biological, the personalities of the two children are different, and even many show two extremes.
This netizen posted two children with completely opposite personalities and appearances, the boss under the lens is a boy, clean and tidy, and the food is also very elegant, as if he is the brother of the scholarly family in the novel.
But it is completely different from the boss, although the second child is a sister, there is no bit of a girl's quiet and dignified, but the brand-name clothes are worn out of the feeling of "beggar gang", eating is also wolf, and when anxious, it is directly started.
She is very confused, the same is the biological child, the pension two is more attentive and delicate than the pension, but why is the second more sloppy than the boss, should not the same biological child have the same personality?
When has the child's personality been predestined?
So why do two siblings have diametrically opposed personalities? Depends on congenital or acquired?
The documentary "Baby's Magical World" takes more than 2,000 families as a research sample and reveals the magical and complex process of baby growth.
The researchers showed three 6-month-old babies the same clown toy, and the three babies showed excitement, somewhat defensive, and calm:
Then I showed the three babies the cute puppy toys, and their reactions were still the same as when they saw the clown toys, excited, defensive and calm.
Therefore, most of the time parents naturally accept the child's personality, but they have not yet realized it.
If the child's personality is relatively calm and stable, parents need to guide the child slowly; if the child is very excited and easy to accept, then it will be faster to receive education and deal with external affairs.
To put it simply, the child's personality is innately tendentious and may change the day after tomorrow, but it is more difficult.
Reasons for personality differences between siblings:
As for the fact that the personalities of the biological children are different, it can be explained by Adler's birth order theory, which he observed and found differences in personality between several children in the same family and came up with his own conclusions.
He believes that the birth order of children will be different in the family environment, and the evaluation and comparison of different children by parents is also one of the influencing factors.
Only children: It is easier to be a maverick
Before the domestic two-child policy was not opened, almost every family was an only child, and this generation of children received the attention and love of parents and even the whole family.
Many of the idols and public figures of more than a decade ago were only children.
The eldest of multi-child families: more responsible and more controlling
In a two-child family, the eldest is often the first to get the efforts of the parents, especially when the second is an "accident", the parents will spend less time on the second child.
British Prime Minister Churchill during World War II was the eldest in the family, and the leader Mao Zedong was also the eldest of the three children in the family...
Because their parents spend more time on them, they are more mature, stable, responsible, and will take good care of their younger siblings, but they will also become domineering and controlling because they get too much attention.
Children of the middle tier: stronger resilience is needed
The children of three families, usually in the "middle layer", are the most adaptable.
Because there are older brothers and sisters on the top, younger brothers and sisters on the bottom, and the second brother is sandwiched in the middle more for "stability", such a birth order makes them more able to adapt to strange and unfavorable environments in personality.
Youngest child: more "heart machine"
Crying children have milk, so no matter how many children in the family, the youngest "old man" is often regarded as the most clever, they are lively and cute and loving, even if they make mistakes, they are easy to be forgiven.
There is still a "competition for survival" in the family
American psychologist Salove believes that the difference in personality of several children in a family is also related to the competition within the family.
Like the laws of survival in nature, survival of the fittest, the attention of parents in a family, and the resources of the family are all key factors affecting the child's personality, especially the attitude and way parents treat their children.
Of course, even if it is a brother and sister in a family, or even twins, the people encountered in the process of growing up and the environment will be different, such as the teachers and classmates encountered in school, the personality of friends, the atmosphere of life, etc. will affect the formation of personality.
This is a complex problem, the only thing that can be confirmed is that freezing three feet is not a day's cold, and the child's personality is different, which comes from the superposition of various factors such as congenital genetics, acquired environment, birth order and so on.