In modern society, companionship has become a difficult problem.
Because parents are basically busy at work, they rarely take a lot of time to spend with their children. In the days of lack of companionship, the child is growing rapidly, and when the child grows up, you begin to feel that the child and your words have become less, and you can rarely even see the child, at this time you find that you have so many barriers with the child.
The vast majority of fathers spend less than 5 hours a week with their children on average, and effectively communicate with their children for no more than 6 minutes a day. In fact, in the preschool, childhood, adolescence of children at different stages of growth, the need for different communication and companionship, parents can not be absent, otherwise it is not conducive to the perfection of children's personality.
The three words "I'm busy" often appear in the mouths of some of our parents, whenever the child says: "Is it okay to play with me for a while?" ”
Parents always replied, "Where do I have time to play with you?"
Now, due to the pressure of work or different concepts of life, some parents will also give the responsibility of raising and accompanying children to grandparents, or grandparents.
There are also often parents who say, "I don't know how to educate my children." "So I sent my children to many social training institutions, in fact, there are many such examples around me, many parents are competing to invest in training courses, which not only spend a lot of money, but also put a lot of pressure on their children, and the effect is not necessarily good."
In fact, I used to think so, has been thinking about what training classes to report to the child, there was an off-campus elocution training class enrollment, the admissions teacher introduced so well, so good, I tried to report a week of experience courses, my child was only 3 years old at that time, went to the first class, I have been watching the child's state on the spot, at the beginning I also talked to the teacher, did the action, did not pass 5 minutes, I cried no, I felt that other children can keep up with learning, how can you not? I criticized the child in front of many parents, the more the child cried, the more severely I cried, I forced the child to the training class to stay in a class, this lesson, the child has been crying.
After class, the child is not willing to come back to the elocution class no matter what, the child says: "I will not, I can't learn, I do not want to learn eloquence class." The second class I went with the child again, the child was very disgusted, he kept me with me, I accompanied her for a lesson, this time the child did not cry, I thought the state improved, the child accepted, I am very happy. As a result, after the class, the child said to me: "Mom, I don't want to learn eloquence class, I won't, I can't learn, I don't want to take eloquence class." ”
Later, I discussed with the teacher of the training class, the next course will not go, the child can not adapt, now the age is still young, wait for the older to try the remaining few lessons. I thought that this training class thing was over, but what I didn't expect was that the kindergarten gave the child an eloquence class every week, and the child was bored, as long as he heard the teacher say that the class was eloquent, the child began to cry, and he could cry all morning, until when I went to pick her up after school at noon, the child was still crying. At the beginning of the kindergarten eloquence class, the child did not cry, and kept following the lesson. Ever since I gave my child two classes to the elocution class training class that I reported outside the school, the child was very bored and stressed. As a result, children's kindergarten elocution classes are also reluctant to attend. After another two or three months or so, the child's state in the kindergarten slowly improved, and the class was normal and good.
I felt this time that I can't put too much pressure on my children, can't see other students apply for training classes, and our parents follow the trend. The registration for class is inappropriate, and the psychological shadow caused by the child is very serious. We think that "investing money" can make up for our lack. This is not the case. Sometimes the result is just the opposite.
Of course, there are also some parents who sometimes accompany their children, but their companionship is only "losing" to the child's side, and they do not pay attention to and participate in the child's activities.
In fact, the value of parent-child companionship far exceeds any education training. It is not enough to treat children with only material care, parents are busy, they should also take time to communicate with their children, understand children, and care about children.
I remember that I used to be like this for a while, to accompany the child, let the child watch TV, I look at the phone, do not communicate, do not communicate. Play each one.
I read a book "Parents are the best toys for children" And through reading this book I learned to be effective with children. Take some time every day to read with her, read with her, play with her toys, communicate with her, chat with her, and play games with her.
Progress every day. I myself have changed and improved through reading, and I also hope to bring my children to progress and grow together through my changes.
Parent-child companionship is the most important thing in the world, and most parents say they don't have time. There is a sentence in the book "Poor Dad Rich Dad": "The so-called success is to have time to take care of their children." ”
When Obama was first elected president, he said: "One thing he was proud of during the campaign was that he did not miss a single parent-teacher meeting for his children during the 21-month campaign. He still eats with his daughters every night, patiently answers their questions, and advises them on making friends at school.
When Yang Lan was chatting with Gilbert, a professor in the Department of Psychology at Harvard University, Yang Lan asked him how many things he needed to deal with, and he often couldn't tell what to do.
Gilbert replied: "Ten years from now you won't regret doing one less project today, but you'll regret not being able to spend an extra hour with your child." ”
The best companionship is the companionship of the heart, and parents and children should establish a good relationship based on a close emotional connection.
Communicate and communicate through genuine, inner authentic feelings, pass on love, trust and security, and promote mutual understanding, love and trust.
In the process of child growth, parents and children establish friendly relations, and the love and trust passed on to children by spiritual companionship will affect the child's life.
By reading the book "Parents are the Best Toys for Children", I learned that I must take some time every day to accompany my children, communicate with her, talk, talk about school fun, talk about their troubles, and become friends with them.