People say, "Three years old looks small, seven years old looks old".
The future qualities and virtues of a child are already foreshadowed at a very young age, and if parents have these few in the process of parenting, then half of your children will also be "wasted" by you.
Unprincipled, touting doting on children
We often say that the quickest way to destroy a person is to "kill" him, which means excessive praise, which will cause the touted person to stagnate, regress, or even fall into failure, and the same is true for parents to educate their children.
I know an aunt who often compliments her children to friends and family: "My son is smart, just naughty, otherwise the grades will definitely be the first grade." 」 "My son is doing math problems quickly, and if he wasn't a little careless, he would definitely go to the Olympiad." "My son..."
Of course, the perfect son of the mother also naturally failed to achieve good results in the college entrance examination, because the part she said was "only" - carefulness, hard work, perseverance, and concentration are all important factors in achieving success.
But the child in the mother's mouth is always the "first in the mother's heart", without any shortcomings, naturally there is no way to correct and improve.
Hilarity is a coddling twin, and most children who kill their parents are doting on their children. Always thinking about leaving all the flowers and praise in the world to the child.
But a child who grows up in this environment will first lose the ability to survive, because everything he has is given by his parents, and when his parents leave, they will take all this with them.
A clear trait of long-term coddling by parents is self-centeredness, always loving themselves more than others, and such a personality also makes it difficult for them to make friends and establish intimate relationships in the future.
Strong control, verbal violence against children
In "In the Name of the Family", the mother of the moon will call the mother of the moon to let the moon pick her own clothes, but she also said that the pink she jumped was not resistant to dirt, the black was too depressed, and finally chose a dress she liked;
When ordering, she first let the moon highlight, and then said that she did not know how to take care of the tastes of the guests, and finally she ordered a table of dishes herself; told Moon's friend that she missed the University of Political Science and Law, but even Moon herself did not know that she had this dream.
After growing up in this long-term controlled environment, when Moon went out on a date with the boy she liked, she first let her male god order food, and finally replaced all the dishes she ordered on the grounds that the dishes ordered by the male god were unhealthy vegetables.
Moon discovered that her mother's long-term desire for control had completely affected her, and she had become a replica of her mother.
Long-term control makes the moon envy Li Jianjian's freedom, there is a big brother pain and second brother love, her inferiority heart eventually makes her and Li Jianjian's friendship lead to jealousy and hatred.
And the long-term control also made the moon lose the courage to resist, she did not dare to tell her mother that she did not want to be a lawyer, he did not dare to tell his mother that he did not want to take the civil service, did not want to buy a house with his parents' pension, long-term repression, either let the child go to the outbreak, or let the child go to the demise.
Tie up the child and cut the psychological umbilical cord continuously
The Russian satirical animated short film "Inseparable Love", which every parent should watch, is an animation about a single mother who, after giving birth, asks the doctor not to cut her and her child's umbilical cord because she is reluctant to be separated from her child.
When she was a child, the mother gave up the attractive man she met in the supermarket in order to keep the child around at any time; simply let the child not enter the school because she was reluctant to be separated from the child; when she grew up, she directly pulled the child who was still in love back through the umbilical cord line...
The child spent a low and boring life, watching his peers begin to have their own families and be disappointed, until finally his mother died, the umbilical cord was finally broken, and the middle-aged man went crazy.
At this time, the video screen turned black, and there was a cry of the birth of the newborn, which meant that until this moment, the child was really born.
This is exactly the current situation of many modern "mothers" and "well-behaved women", parents let them lose their ability to make their own choices, keep them in captivity, can not accept their departure, and finally let the children and parents live a heavy and boring life.
Last year, deputies to the Zhejiang Provincial People's Congress put forward the proposal that "parents hold a certificate to work", which was met with some controversy.
But it is undeniable that good parents are not born, and becoming a good parent requires long-term learning, because your educational mistakes delay the child's life.
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