When I went to my colleague's house to deliver information, I met her teaching her child: "You see how happy you are now, and your mother will find time to tutor you no matter how tired you are!" "I'm not all about making money for you!"
Seeing that my colleague was scolding vigorously, I was a little embarrassed to turn around, but unexpectedly, my colleague pulled me in and complained to me bitterly.
It turned out that the child's grandparents had poor economic conditions, had been busy earning money, and clearly expressed their reluctance to help with the child before the child was born. The husband and wife of the colleague did not work in the same place, and the colleague could only ask the mother's family to help.
The colleague thought that he would work hard to take the child, and the child's father could understand a little more. Who knows, that is also a master who only cares about himself: when he comes home, he just eats, sleeps, plays games, and tells him to care about the child, and he will reply with a sentence of "Isn't there you?" ”
One after another, the anger in the stomach of the colleague has no place to sprinkle, and from time to time he squeezes the child a few words. The child is a stubborn baby: the more you say, the less I want to listen; the more you urge, the slower I am; the more you dislike, the more I make a fool of myself; the more you don't let me do it, the more I have to do it.
No, this training is because the child did not do well in the final exam, and he refused to admit his mistake, and the colleague could not help but get angry with the child.
"Am I easy for me? The in-laws don't help, the husband doesn't care, I have to work and take the children, it's hard to pull the child so big, I think it's good to train him, there will be a good job in the future, he actually disobeyed! ”
Looking at such a colleague, while I feel sorry for her, I really dare not agree with some of her ideas.
1. Teach children to be things-based and not to carry guns and sticks
Children are the most sensitive animals and can easily detect changes in their mother's mood. Many mothers will find that when taking children, if they are in a bad mood, their children will be extremely difficult to carry. In fact, this is all because the child feels the emotional changes of the mother.
Children are like this, and so are older children, but older children don't cry and cling like children, and most of their manifestations are: rebellious and unrequited.
If the parents are grumpy and talk heavily, the more they behave instead.
This is the case with the co-worker's child, and I have found that the more the co-worker is violent, the more the child behaves calmly, even indifferently, and he looks at the mother's eyes, not so much at the mother as at a stranger.
Therefore, when educating children, we must discuss things on the facts, do not carry guns and sticks, and mix too many personal feelings.
2. Leave respect for your child and don't just vent
Many times as a parent, you make the mistake of forgetting that your child is also an independent individual, has a need for self-actualization, and wants to be respected.
Sometimes, even if the child raises an objection, the parents will rudely push back: "I am your mother (father), I can't take care of you yet?" It's not that parents don't love their children, it's just that they forget: children are not the property of their parents.
When colleagues complain that the child is disobedient, I have been trying to interrupt her: the child will also be shy and embarrassed, respect the child, do you want to try to listen to the child's thoughts first, listen to his reasons.
Colleagues may be angry, or they may have held back for a long time, but they did not pay any attention to my words, and only cared about venting their dissatisfaction, I could only smile apologetically at the child and tell him with a mouth shape: "Your mother loves you, she is just too tired."
3. Adjust your emotions first, and then affect your children
It can be seen that the colleague's mood is very bad: the past resentment, the inaction of the child's father, the pressure of his own work, and the decline in the child's grades.
She's like a spinning top, and any slight unevenness can get her off her track.
However, as an adult, especially as a parent, maintaining emotional stability is a very important thing, which not only affects the atmosphere of the whole family, but also determines the origin of children's happiness.
After all, in the child's place, whether it is a father or a mother, it is difficult to give up the party, which is also more and more parents resisting "Is dad good or mom good?" The cause of this problem.
Some people say: It is not easy for adults, that is, they have tears in their eyes, and they have to laugh and tell children that it is okay.
But isn't it?
Parents are children's role models, optimistic parents, most of the children who are taught are not easy to admit defeat; most of the children from families with tense relationships are cowardly and timid; and most of the children from families with violent tendencies are prone to impatience.
If you want your child to be excellent and secure, parents should first find reasons from themselves, solve their own problems, be optimistic and open-minded in the face of life, and love themselves first to have the strength to love others, rather than venting their dissatisfaction on children who are powerless to resist.