Two days ago, I watched a video of an annual meeting of entrepreneurial development on the Internet, and I felt a lot:
At that time, at the welcome dinner of the conference, almost all the people were busy socializing, and only Cao Dewang sat alone at the dinner table and ate, as if what was happening in front of him had nothing to do with himself, and he had come to eat.
Cao Dewang is not only not busy with socializing, but also ignores people who take the initiative to set up closeness.
Why does Cao Dewang have such confidence?
At the end of the day, it's strength.
He no longer needs to know anyone in his field, because he himself is the benchmark.
Other entrepreneurs are busy socializing, nothing more than some network resources, they think that they can deal with a big guy like Cao Dewang, which will be of great help to their future careers, and they did not want to be punched in the face.
In this society, everyone thinks that if they know more people who are very powerful, they will become very powerful, but they don't know that this is wrong.
If you are not strong enough, it is useless to know more people.
01: Equivalent exchange will be valued
In life, many young people are always busy getting to know all kinds of people, they think that this is a way to quickly expand their networks, but they don't know that this is wrong.
If you know each other, it is likely that the other party does not know who you are.
You think you're already very familiar with each other, but in the other person's opinion, it may just be a nod.
At the heart of social networking is equivalence.
If in the process of getting along, you and the other party are very different, and will not bring the other party the help they deserve, then how can the other party possibly value you?
Some time ago, I watched a job search program and felt even deeper.
In this show, there came a post-90s young man, just on the stage, the young man talked about it, which was deeply liked by the bosses.
Just when everyone thought that this young man was a good talent, he punched himself in the face.
The young man said that he knew many big men, including Yu Minhong and Dong Mingzhu.
As soon as he finished speaking, both the moderator and the interviewer expressed disbelief, and one of the interviewers asked him:
"You know them, so do they know you?"
The lad said with great certainty that they knew each other and that if they didn't believe it, they could call each other now.
In order to test the depth of the other party, everyone let him try it.
Under the eyes of everyone in disbelief, the young man quickly called Dong Mingzhu, although the phone was called, but no one answered, and he called Yu Minhong again as a result.
At this time, the host asked him, have you called the other party before?
The lad was speechless, and he awkwardly said no.
At this point, the young man still insisted that he really knew Dong Mingzhu, and the two had also met in a party.
Frankly speaking, I think the young man may have met Dong Mingzhu, but he can't talk about it, and his own personal connections are just self-deception.
In fact, networking is not pursued, but attracted.
In other words, nodding is just a stepping stone to networking, unless you have a lot of ability to attract the attention of the other party.
Isn't the reason we envy, and even want to make friends with successful people, because they all have dazzling abilities?
And if your ability is very average, but you happen to have a chance to meet a big guy in the industry, you can only say that you have met, not really.
Only when you are good enough will your network naturally open up, that is, it will be a matter of course.
The writer Ono once wrote in the book "Minimalism":
"When you don't reach a higher level, networking is not valuable, only equivalent exchange, you can get reasonable help, although it is cruel, but this is the truth." 」
I think so! Only if a person is good enough can they attract more people of the same frequency, and their connections will become valuable.
02: You are good enough to have the strongest connections
A person's real excellence is not how many people you know, but how many people know you.
At any time, do not overestimate your connections, because the result is too hard.
At all times, remember that when you are not excellent, your circle is useless, and others may be good to you on the surface, but in essence, in their eyes, they are no different from strange passers-by.
This point, friend Zhang Ge deeply understands.
In the past, Brother Zhang especially liked to mix circles, every day is not to see friends or on the way to meet friends, he thinks how he treats others, others will also do to themselves.
At that time, Brother Zhang could be described as full of spirits, and he couldn't stop talking about who he knew, if you didn't know him, it was likely that he would be coaxed by him, but in fact, he and others were nodding friends.
If he hadn't been punched in the face on the spot, Brother Zhang would have really thought that he had a heavy weight in the hearts of others.
Some time ago, Brother Zhang attended a dinner party, during which he said that he knew the leader of a certain enterprise, and just at that time a friend wanted to ask the leader to do something, so he asked Brother Zhang to call him.
After the phone was connected, Brother Zhang quickly introduced himself, he had not finished the introduction, the other party directly asked him if he was wrong, and then hung up the phone.
This made Brother Zhang very embarrassed, and he finally understood that the clown was himself.
After thinking about it, Brother Zhang has completely changed into a person, he is no longer obsessed with socializing, no longer opens his mouth and closes his mouth to know so-and-so, but sinks his heart to work hard to manage himself, make himself more excellent, so as to attract more excellent people.
In fact, this is true, when one is strong enough, there is no need to consider the network at all, and many people will most likely come uninvited at this time.
As the saying goes, the depth of the ridge is often the presence of the dragon, and the high sea has its own phoenix perch.
Instead of relying on others, it is better to improve yourself.
03: Conclusion:
If a person wants to walk with excellent people, it is best to give up useless social interactions and use this time to improve themselves.
When you are good enough to be a role model for others, you can attract more people, and your value can be vividly displayed.
As the saying goes: If you bloom, the breeze will come.
You only have to make yourself the most dazzling one, the people around you will want you to gather together, if the light points on your body are only three or two, then the people you attract are only three or two.
Don't think that knowing many people is a very great thing, knowing more people, not as good as knowing people".
May each of us understand this truth, be able to run our own lives in a down-to-earth manner, and strive to be a good person, rather than being a person who only knows useless social interactions.
Only if you do it, your life will have a different situation.
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About the Author:
Su Xiaobei is a cutting-edge emotional writer and marital psychological counselor. If you have a problem and don't know how to solve it, you can ask me a question and look forward to your consultation and message.