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When getting along with people, don't expose your "bottom line" too early

He Suohuan, a writer of gender-emotional psychology, writes sentient stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.

When getting along with people, don't expose your "bottom line" too early

In adult social life, there are many things that don't have to be said too clearly, just point to the point.

There is a word called "shallow and deep".

What is the meaning?

Shallow friendship can be understood as the friendship between you is not as deep as you think, and others may not be interested in you.

Speaking deeply means talking too much with unfamiliar people, talking too deeply, is a waste of each other's time.

In interpersonal communication, it is necessary to understand a few subtexts.

Some things should be said, some things should not be said; some things can be done and some things cannot be done.

When getting along with people, don't expose your "bottom line" too early

-01

Get along with people, to maintain a "sense of mystery"

In interpersonal communication, the person who "keeps quiet" in the crowd is the least simple.

Because they know how to listen.

Quiet people are generally better listeners in social life; they don't express their opinions easily, but just silently watch everyone say and listen to everyone say different things.

And he will speak his mind at the crucial time.

This not only avoids conflicts with the people around them, but also allows everyone to listen to their opinions when everyone is silent.

And a person who is noisy, especially able to speak, always likes to interrupt other people's conversations, and likes to perform, is easy to cause the disgust of others.

Keeping the mystery allows you to seize more initiative in socializing.

When getting along with people, don't expose your "bottom line" too early

What is mystery?

Like what:

You're sent by the company on a business trip to talk business with the other person; if you expose your hole cards too early, it's hard to win bigger profits.

Only by maintaining a sense of mystery, trying to test each other a little bit, and playing games with each other, can we get the greatest benefit from it.

The same is true in relationships.

There is a saying that goes like this: "Whoever moves the feelings first loses." ”

Why?

Because you lose your sense of mystery in front of each other, after falling in love with each other first, you are bound to become the party that pays more.

This means that in the next process of your relationship, you lose the initiative and become passive.

When getting along with people, don't expose your "bottom line" too early

-02

Get along with people, and have a sense of proportion on your lips

People who are harsh and mean, no matter what kind of occasion, are not liked.

The mouth is unguarded, and the more you say, the more you say, the more you lose.

When you talk to different people, you must learn to create different atmospheres and talk about different topics.

For example:

When you chat with colleagues, you can't say bad things about your boss in front of each other; when you chat with friends, you can't interfere too much with each other's feelings and marriage.

When you talk to strangers, you can't say too much about your privacy.

The more a person talks, the easier it is to make mistakes; proper silence and attention to the sense of proportion of the conversation can maintain communication between two people.

Evil words hurt people, and evil comes out of the mouth.

In socializing, have you ever encountered a "bar spirit"?

Have you ever met someone who speaks "with a thorn"?

Whatever you say, he's going to refute you; whatever you do, he's going to mock you to his face.

Publicly expose the short, when you can't get off the stage; the public tit-for-tat with you, let everyone see your jokes.

These people, on the surface, do seem to have the upper hand in speech, but in fact they only expose his vitriol.

When getting along with people, don't expose your "bottom line" too early

Smart people often know how to "stop at the right time" in social interaction.

When it is time to speak, there is no silence; when it is time to shut up, there is no more than one word.

Most importantly, they know how to show respect to each other.

In social networking, if you don't save face for others, it's equivalent of "punching each other in the face."

Everyone has self-esteem, you hurt each other's self-esteem, how to continue to maintain a relationship with each other?

When getting along with people, don't expose your "bottom line" too early

-03

Get along with people, don't "talk shallow and deep"

You go to the barbershop, and the barber always chats with you, looking for various topics to talk to you about.

But what you think in your mind is, "Can you get a quiet haircut?" ”

You take a taxi and just want to sit quietly in the back seat and rest, but the master chats with you without a word; you are very tired, you just want to rest, but you don't know how to reply to the other party.

These phenomena all belong to the "shallow and deep words" of others when they face us.

The relationship between you is not familiar, excessive communication, excessive enthusiasm, will only cause discomfort to the other party.

This reminds me of "social phobia".

For people with social phobia, in interpersonal interactions, they most want to remain silent and do not like to have too much communication with others.

Even when they meet acquaintances, they don't know how to say hello.

Greeting him with a stranger will make him too ashamed to say a word.

Not to talk deeply is the "self-protection mechanism" in people's subconscious, and it is also an instinctive resistance to strangers.

When getting along with people, don't expose your "bottom line" too early

Therefore, to chat with different people, you have to master different skills.

For example:

When communicating with strangers, just keep polite and polite, click to the end, and don't put pressure on the other person.

When chatting with acquaintances, don't be overly enthusiastic, you can come and go to maintain the relationship.

Excessive enthusiasm, excessive nagging, always makes people feel uncomfortable.

Today's Topic:

What kind of way do you not like to get along in social life?

(Article with picture source network)

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