01
Seriously think about it, why socialize?
There is a view that a person's motivation for socializing is to build interest relationships, or to build practical relationships for the future, people in social interaction, is to use or be used tools, and the other is a group of lonely people, hugging for warmth.
When you're young, you can rely on your parents and be alone, and it doesn't matter. If your parents are strong, you can still live from above.
When people reach middle age, no matter how good you are, you still need to look for like-minded people. For the purpose of socializing, everyone tacitly agrees, and on the surface they are all friendly and kind.
As the saying goes: "Success is also Xiao He, and defeat is also Xiao He." "Socialization is a double-edged sword that needs to be fully utilized and avoided, otherwise it will hurt yourself."
When you have been in society for many years, you will understand the following four social unspoken rules.
02
First, the closeness of relatives is not determined by blood relations, but by human strength.
My mother had seven siblings and my father had four siblings. In my generation, there were more than thirty cousins. If everyone sits around and does something, it's very powerful.
However, there are only one or two cousins who are really in contact with me. Perhaps, this is an incredible result. But if you think about it, everyone has a different direction of development and a different value orientation, so why should I associate with you?
The obvious phenomenon of relatives interacting is that it is inflammatory. For example, if a relative works in the system, he is still a person like a leader. Most of his relatives will take the initiative to pay him a New Year's greeting, and some elders will say his name as soon as they open their mouths, thinking that this is the "pride" of the extended family.
Everyone knows that if there is something to do in the family, it is certainly not wrong to find a "number one", borrowing his network, you can do your own thing.
In the red and white celebrations, relatives gather and discuss generations, but in ordinary exchanges, they are about positions and money. As the saying goes, the rich have distant relatives in the mountains, and the poor have no one to ask in the downtown area; if they don't believe and look at the wine in the cup, the cup first respects the rich.
Some relatives, who have a high generation, but their family is very depressed, and he has no weight in his words at ordinary gatherings.
The actual number of relatives, closeness or alienation depends on your abilities and the aura on your head. If you are very frustrated, don't easily ask your relatives for help, most of them will be disappointed.
03
Second, no matter how many friends there are, it is difficult to communicate, and everyone is mainly concerned about interests.
A writer once said, "True friends don't talk about friendship, they don't ask each other for anything for friendship, but they do everything they can for each other." ”
When you're lost, friends help you find a job, lend you some money, or accompany you on your comeback. A sincere friend can make you take a lot of detours, and it will also make you feel the warmth of society.
"No matter how many friends there are, it is better to know one or two", which is the personal experience of many middle-aged people.
Friends gather together for two purposes—to eat and drink, to brag about the bullskin, not to get drunk, to do a big thing, and then to share the profits together. The first kind of friend is to make a scene, put down the wine glass, there is no feeling; the second kind of friend, will accompany you for a long time, but after the interests disappear, it will still gradually drift away.
Let's say you're a clothing business person, so you'll make friends who do clothing wholesale and woo friends who buy clothes. When you quit the industry, the friends you made before are naturally estranged, and they meet occasionally, and they may not even remember their names.
People who gather for the sake of profit will eventually be dispersed because of the conflict of interests. Reality is very heartfelt, but accept it. After all, middle-aged people need to support their families and can't just talk about feelings.
04
Third, in the workplace, colleagues care for each other while fighting with each other.
Zhou Libo once said: "The three laws of the workplace: either endure, or be fierce, or roll." ”
The workplace is where middle-aged people make money, and all colleagues are working hard and will cooperate with each other. Usually, when we meet, we will also greet each other, and we will have a very happy chat in the work group.
If you look closely, you will find that for people in the workplace, whether the social circle is large and lively is determined by the "location".
The boss sent a circle of friends, and there will be a lot of people who like him; the boss speaks in the work group, and there are many people who echo it. What ordinary employees say, everyone will not care, and even make fun of him.
When location is closely linked to income and connections, everyone wants to be a person on top. On personnel issues, no one will be sloppy, will do everything in their power, even if they hurt the people around them, they will not care.
In the workplace, people must learn to make a scene, if you are too realistic or too kind, it is inevitable to be kicked out of the circle.
05
Fourth, no matter who it is, it is best to eat in the hotel and not to party at home.
When we were young, we socialized with relatives and friends, mostly at home to eat and drink together. Especially those born in rural areas, they have a deep understanding.
When people reach middle age, most of us go to the city. The home is not a large yard, but a few cement-enclosed houses. Relatively speaking, home is a private place, and outsiders cannot be allowed to enter casually.
No matter who you're socializing with, it's best to eat at a hotel. If there is nothing important, everyone is on the street, find a tea house to sit down, and make your words clear.
Inviting people to come to the house for dinner, on the one hand, it is very troublesome to cook, on the other hand, it affects the harmony of the family.
When people reach middle age, it is important to adopt the correct social approach. Topics such as inviting guests to dinner, giving gifts, and chatting must be screened.
06
Conclusion.
"Knowing that there are tigers in the mountains, I prefer to go to the tiger mountain line", people to middle age, relatives, friends, colleagues, are the people who have the most contact, but also the people who cannot be avoided. If you use it a little, you can form a synergy and do something together; if you just blindly please, you will lose yourself, or be used by them to become a cushion person.
Nan Huaijin once said: "The path of life is unpredictable, we can't predict our future, but a person's behavior can change their luck to a large extent." ”
When people reach middle age and want to meet suitable companions, do not blindly join in the fun, but strive to change themselves.
Your value is the foundation of social networking.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.