Yesterday a video on the Internet exploded.
A mother opens her son's school bag while her son is doing his homework. Mom put the bag on the ground, opened it casually, shook some scattered pieces of paper and test papers on the ground, and then took out a fifth-grade Chinese textbook.
The textbook was in tatters, and when it was opened, although the first page on the right was sparsely drawn, the title page on the left was clean and had a few big words written: The target is Tsinghua and Peking University.
My mother said this: "Usually I don't obey at all, and then the goal is so ambitious, oh, I can't believe it." ”
The son was sitting at the table next to him to study, his head was not raised, he was crossing Erlang's legs, his socks were not worn, and he was nibbling on the tip of his pen.
The mother took this video in front of her child and put it on the Internet as a pleasure.
This video has indeed attracted the attention and comments of the majority of netizens.
These words are written on the first page of the textbook, although the right page has been drawn, but this page is very clean, enough to show the child's inner attention to this goal.
For such a big goal, shouldn't the mother feel relieved and happy?
But in the video, the mother's approach is to say that she "can't believe it" and say that she is "usually not obedient at all."
I think this mother is doing this to stimulate the child's self-esteem and lower the child's sense of self-worth.
Once a child's sense of self-worth is low, it is easy to doubt themselves and have no confidence in themselves.
Only by cultivating children with a high sense of value can children believe that they can do it on the road of growth and life, and can bravely face the storms of life and live out themselves.
Psychologist Adler believes that children are social people, children are making decisions anytime and anywhere, and form beliefs about themselves, the world, and their own survival and growth. The primary purpose of the child is also to pursue a sense of belonging and value.
In this process, parents should give encouragement, understanding and respect, otherwise it is easy to hurt the child. Protecting children's self-esteem and cultivating children's sense of self-worth is a compulsory course for every parent.
If the child shows his expectations and desire for the future, parents should give timely affirmation and encouragement, and help him to continuously achieve his goals.
In this process, let the child feel the great attention to the goal, and produce a sense of pleasure in the process of pursuit, thus continuously strengthening his self-esteem and high sense of value.
In this process, children can feel that they are very important and can exert their subjective initiative, so that they can improve their sense of high value.
Parents need to attach great importance to their children's sense of self-worth, carefully care for this sense of value, and finally root such a belief in their children's hearts: I am important, I can do it!
Children with this belief, whether in good times or bad times, can feel their own great strength and live their own style.