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If you use one word to describe the relationship between adolescent children and their parents, what will come to mind? Sugar Mom felt that the two words "competition" could not be more appropriate.
When the child is small, even if it is naughty and has many bad problems, the parents will be obedient to the child after a few words of criticism, and even in turn, they will coax the adults to be happy. When parents expect their children to grow up to be more sensible, they find that they become more difficult to manage.
The 14-year-old boy is tired of school, and his mother's words make him obediently "admit his mistake"
Before the New Year's Day holiday, the neighbor's children have been resting at home, and the 14-year-old Xiaoxu has been in the middle and upper grades, and his learning is also very active, which is a good seedling that the teacher values. I didn't want to delay reading at this critical juncture because of the loss of love.
Xiao Xu's mother was not impatient when she told this story, and smiled and squinted at me: "At first he didn't admit it, I guessed it myself." She walked into Xiao Xu's room and whispered about the topic of lost love, Xiao Xu was also surprised how she guessed it, she patted Xiao Xu's shoulder: "Because my mother has also experienced it."
She and Xiaoxu talked about the feelings of lost love, and how she spent that time in the first place, and when she mentioned Xiaoxu's dream of becoming an engineer in the future, Xiaoxu instantly woke up. He realizes that this act of self-abandonment is wrong and promises to adjust his mindset and return to school.
Adolescent children fall in love early and fall out of love, and they can solve problems without hitting or scolding
Children around the age of 14 are in junior high school, and at this stage, children have feelings between them, which are often regarded as early love, and it is not uncommon for parents to strictly supervise and beat Mandarin ducks.
If you want to correctly deal with the problem of adolescent child's love, it is not to keep him away from the opposite sex, nor can you completely eliminate the matter of liking and loving from life, otherwise there will be problems in the future.
After many children's "early love" was discovered, the more parents stopped, the more they wanted to be together, and then forced some two children to elope, which led to the "competition" situation said by sugar mother at the beginning of the article.
In the end, the two children may not really understand what love is, but they are using the act of love to "compete" with their parents, but to show you.
In the face of adolescent children's love problems, 2 ways to return children to a better future
Xiaoxu's mother's way of dealing with the child's early love is very wise, not scolding but also not indulging, but using these few tricks, it is worth learning from parents.
★ It didn't make the child's mood worse
Love is a beautiful and positive feeling, maybe it did not occur in the time period that the parents hoped, but it does not mean how bad the child's character is.
After guessing that her son had lost love, Xiao Xu's mother did not question why she had fallen in love early, but from the perspective of empathy, told Xiao Xu that "her mother must be very sad to know that she has lost love", xiao Xu said a lot of heartfelt words after being comforted and understood.
★ Help children get out of the "whirlpool" of feelings
Many adolescent children will lose confidence and even do stupid things because of crush and lost love, then parents will stop hitting and accusing, but help children out of the whirlpool of feelings.
There is a passage in "Wounded Death": Looking back on the past, I feel that for most of the past, I have neglected the essence of other lives only for love— blind love.
For children, Xiao Xu is only 14 years old, and the hormones of youth make him full of expectations and yearning for feelings, which is not wrong in itself. But love is not the only important thing in life, there are many meaningful things waiting to be done by yourself.
Adolescent children's desire to get the attention of the opposite sex is a necessary process of physical and mental development, and parents do not have to be like a big enemy, and use the right "tricks" to return their children to a better future.
Xiao Xu said the words in his heart to his mother, and the knot was untied. Instead of resenting the girl for leaving, he returned to class with a better mindset after the holidays.
Just imagine, if XiaoXu's mother and father are also as competitive with their children, not only delaying their children's learning, but also frustrating their children's emotional views, and losing a lot of beauty in their future lives.
Don't compete with adolescent children, parents need to learn "magic tricks"
Girls' puberty is between 10 and 18 years old, and boys are around 12 to 20 years old, and adolescent education is a very long process. The problems that await parents in adolescent children are not just "early love".
It also includes fighting, internet addiction, learning, relationships, and various psychological changes. If you want to solve these problems, you must first pay attention to not "fighting" with your children, otherwise the parents will lose from the beginning.
Xiaoxu's mother was also very confused when her son first entered adolescence, and once led to the rigidity of the parent-child relationship in many wrong ways, and now her son is willing to open his heart to her, and Xiaoxu's mother has made a lot of efforts behind her back.
She went to understand the stars that children liked, chased the dramas that children liked to watch, and slowly found that adolescent children were not as bad as they thought.
Xiaoxu's mother realized that adolescent children have grown up and their own education methods must also "grow", so they continue to learn through this book after the initial communication failure.
The title of the book is very much in line with the state of "competition" between her and her son, after reading it, Xiaoxu's mother knows the problems that have occurred with her child and the problems that may occur in the future, so she will easily face it after the child has lost love.
This book quickly helps parents find the problem by going from shallow to deep, with real cases and efficient solutions. Thousands of parents are embarrassed to open their mouths about sex education and early love issues, and the book has a more detailed explanation.
The author of this book is a middle school teacher with rich teaching experience and has a deep understanding of child psychology and educational psychology. She has been in contact with junior high school students for many years, and she knows more about her children's words and deeds, and can also let everyone see the performance of children after leaving the family.
Xiaoxu's mother recommended this book to me, and also wants Sugar Mom to recommend it to more parents like her, if your child is about to enter puberty, you may wish to click the link below to take this "treasure book" home!