A friend complained to me that since I became a mother, I have changed from a woman who does not like to talk to a particularly nagging mother.
But every time after Nagging with the child, I find that I am doing useless work, and even sometimes the child will show that impatient expression, I really feel like I am playing the piano to the cow, what do you say I should do?
As parents, we must understand that children do not want to listen to us talk about big reasons, and they do not mean to make us angry.
The most fundamental reason is that the child's brain development is not very mature, and the big truths you tell the child, the pile of things that you nag, the child is too small, he can't understand it at all.
For some older children, he will be disgusted and even rebellious from the heart because you nag all day and say some repetitive and meaningless words.
Professor Li Meijin once said: Before the child is six or seven years old, the nagging of parents is a golden sentence, but after the age of 12, the nagging of parents is garbage.
In our lives, you will find that the lower the level of parents, the more they like to nag their children about a lot of big truths.
How do high-level or knowledgeable parents generally teach their children?
Methods that high-level parents make good use of
(1) Treat children as adults
Many times, parents nag their children and tell their children big truths, in fact, they don't want their children to take a detour in the process of growing up, because parents will think that you see that I have eaten more salt than the road I have walked, and you must listen to me.
But how do you know that your child likes to eat the salt you've eaten? The times are developing, society is progressing, we can't always look at today's children with old eyes.
You know, the maturity of children's hearts is far beyond the imagination of parents. So, don't always treat your child like a child.
Think that children you don't understand this, you can't do that, you can't do this, you can't do that.
We must look at the child with a developmental eye and treat the child as an adult like ourselves. In this way, the child can get the respect he deserves, and your parent-child relationship will be better.
If you want to understand your child and guide your child, you must go deep into the child's inner world to see what the child is playing, what they like, and what they care about.
As parents, we must try to lower our posture and enter the child's world with a low posture, and follow the child's preferences and interests, so that the relationship between you and the child can not be good?
At this time, when you go to educate your children, you don't need to talk about those useless principles at all, which is the first practice of high-level parents.
(2) Lead by example and be a good example for your children
If in a family, mom is swiping her phone, watching TV, and reading novels every day, dad comes back from work every day to play games, smoke, drink, and play cards.
It is difficult for such a family to cultivate a good child who loves to read, love to learn, and even self-discipline in life.
Because the child's first understanding of the world comes from the parents, from the environment in which he lives.
If the child's eyes are all such a dirty and sloppy state of life, then the child will naturally become a copy of the parents.
Therefore, if you want your child to become excellent and want to cultivate a good child, then as a parent, you must constantly improve your cognition.
And change their own living conditions, because the ceiling of parents is the starting point of children, and those excellent parents often pay special attention to their own requirements and constraints.
When asking children not to always play with mobile phones and watch TV, first think about whether they have done it.
If the child is born, what you see is that the mother is reading and learning every day, the father is loving his wife every day, helping his wife to do housework, and even likes to delve into industry knowledge, especially brave, especially dare to take risks to try new things.
Do you think you still need to tell your children some big truth? Tell your child to study hard or something like that? We always say that educating children is more important than teaching by example, but this is what we actually mean.
We parents lead by example and give their children a good example and object to imitate, then your child cannot be not excellent.
So why do some low-level parents always complain about themselves and say, "Oh, my child is just disobedient, you see he is not good at all, and his academic performance is not good."
This is a cruel reality, and it is not the children who really open up the gap between children, but the parents.
(3) Parents should learn to be lawyers, not judges
Low-level parents cannot tolerate their children's mistakes, and they will not give their children the opportunity to explain and distinguish, which is a typical practice of low-level parents.
Then the children cultivated in this way are nothing more than two endings, either arrogant and rebellious, or cowardly and timid, and dare not express their own ideas, then I think these two kinds of children should not be what parents want.
There are also some parents, that is, as long as they see that their children have problems, they can't wait to become judges and straighten out the law on the spot, so this is a very dangerous thing.
To know that the child's inner world is very colorful, as a parent is to actively influence and educate children. If you don't even understand the child's inner world, there is no way to talk about education.
So how to understand the child's heart?
If you want to understand the child's heart, the first tip is the first point just mentioned, care for the child's self-esteem, safeguard the child's rights, and eventually become the child's trustworthy and respected friend.
That is to say, we parents should treat our children like lawyers treat their clients, to understand the inner world of children, and always to safeguard the children's legal rights, as the only purpose.
So don't go to your child to talk to your child about a bunch of big truths, if you also try to do these three things, then I believe that your child will become very good, and the child will be very grateful when he grows up.
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