Wen 丨 Forest Mommy
After pregnancy, many women will have conflicts with their mother-in-law. As far as the state of the "spitting" mother-in-law of major websites is concerned, it is difficult to get along with the mother-in-law and has become an urgent problem to be solved. We use data to speak, to see the "mother-in-law" post on the domestic mother's network pregnancy APP.
On the "Mother's Network Pregnancy", the number of posts about the mother-in-law is huge, and "spitting" on the mother-in-law has become a common topic during pregnancy and postpartum:
There are very popular posts in it, and her experience is very popular.
"My mother-in-law said that I was thin and didn't eat much, complaining about how a child like me could absorb nutrients, but in fact, I was treated a little during pregnancy."
"I had to cook my own meals, and she always grabbed them because she wanted to heat up the meals that were left for three or four days."
"I said the dish was broken and smelly, and she would say, 'I taste it.'"
"I said the dumplings were sour, and she said, 'Then you just eat the skin.'"
"In June, I ate the tofu bubbles that had been put on for ten days at noon, the tofu bubbles that had been sour were fried together with the cabbage, I picked the cabbage to eat, but I was still sick, and I had a fever in the middle of the night and shouted that she pretended not to hear, and I myself hit the hanging bottle in the hospital for a day."
Since ancient times, it has been a problem for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along.
The previous mother-in-law often appeared in the image of the evil mother-in-law, so there were many years of daughter-in-law to become a mother-in-law, as if the daughter-in-law was liberated, so the image of the mother-in-law in the previous TV series was mostly a bad image.
At present, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has undergone a certain reversal. The daughter-in-law gradually became dominant in the relationship between the two.
On the one hand, due to today's high dowry, marriage has become a high-cost behavior, which makes the male parents fearful in the face of the daughter-in-law who is difficult to marry, on the other hand, most of today's women are more independent and not dependent on men. This gives them freedom to come and go in their relationships.
But at present, it seems that women who can be independent in life are still in a state of anxiety in the face of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
And their anxiety comes from the following aspects
First, the mother-in-law's living habits do not match her own.
Second, the mother-in-law is more aggressive and arranges her own life.
Third, during pregnancy, the mother-in-law does not care enough about herself.
Fourth, the mother-in-law is too enthusiastic, so that women who have just become mothers feel that they are "robbing the child".
Fifth, the mother-in-law is more eccentric to her son.
How to solve these problems?
First, put an end to the root causes
There is a saying that goes: "Men are afraid of entering the wrong line, and women are afraid of marrying the wrong man." However, because Chinese women are deeply influenced by traditional culture. They tend to be reserved towards their in-laws. This makes them rarely contact with their in-laws before marriage, which is actually not advisable.
You should go to your in-laws' house more before marriage. This is very helpful for understanding your living environment in the future. And by observing the interaction mode of in-laws and mother-in-law, you can judge the future life patterns of your husband and yourself. If you find it inappropriate, you can also stop the loss in time before marriage.
Second, it is best to deal with your mother-in-law before you get pregnant
The process of pregnancy is more difficult, if you do not deal with your mother-in-law before marriage, it is best to deal with your mother-in-law before pregnancy. If you can get along, it is naturally good, and if you can't get along, it won't affect your mood too much. At most, there is less contact.
Observe in the interaction, in addition, can gradually get to know the mother-in-law in the interaction. For example, the mother-in-law cares more about what. No one is perfect, do not impose on your mother-in-law according to your own preferences. For example, some mother-in-law is more frugal, at this time you buy her too many luxury goods, she will also be distressed. Even though you are well-intentioned.
3rd, Academic Society Weakness
Under the same roof as his mother-in-law, there is such a saying: "A mountain does not allow two tigers, unless one male and one female." That is, there are two hostesses in the family who are deadlocked with each other, which is not conducive to the construction of a harmonious family. At this time, if the daughter-in-law learns to show weakness, she may play the role of four or two thousand pounds. Lie in front of your mother-in-law appropriately, and your mother-in-law will also feel your cuteness.
Rainbow farts are appropriate to come, and no one in this world likes to listen to ugly words. Old people like to listen to good sounds and say things like "you've worked hard". The old man is happy, the child is on the heart, and everyone is happy.
Fourth, reduce expectations
Stand in the position of the mother-in-law and think in a different position. For example, some people complain that the mother-in-law eats too vegetarian for herself. In this way, you can observe the eating habits of your mother-in-law. Moreover, it may be that the mother-in-law's cooking skills are not good. We need to dispel the stereotype that older women cook. Maybe they're just old and can't cook. Thinking about it again, if our daughters-in-law let us make them sea cucumber abalone, we probably wouldn't.
To learn to unite the husband, if the relationship with the mother-in-law is not good, the relationship with the husband will gradually have some problems. Don't let yourself be in a state of isolation and helplessness, the mother-in-law is a passer-by in life, the husband is a regular customer, mainly the husband, the husband will gradually understand you. In this way, even if you don't get along well with your mother-in-law, your mentality will not collapse.
Fifth, learn to use software
During pregnancy, there is indispensable a pregnancy APP, the above pregnancy, mother and baby knowledge is very comprehensive, what should be eaten at each stage, what are the recipes, all sorted out, very convenient.
In fact, on this APP, almost any pregnancy preparation, maternity, and parenting problems encountered can search for relevant information and find solutions.
There is also a community in the maternity APP, there are topics that can be discussed, when we encounter emotional problems, we can also talk to others about our troubles, which is also an emotional outlet, helping us regulate our emotions, not because of some contradictions have been angry, angry, depressed, unfavorable to the growth of our baby.
In fact, the pregnant mother at the beginning is using this way to ease her inner emotions, if these words are not said, she may collapse. And their own things are responsible for themselves, pregnancy knowledge should be continuously learned, what things can not be done after pregnancy, pregnant women should have a number in their hearts, rather than blindly endure, and finally let themselves and their children be hurt.