I have a friend who is very worried about his child's academic performance.
She was very anxious, and the teacher communicated with her from time to time, and the content of the communication was nothing more than the following:
The daughter wandered away from class and looked out the window several times;
The daughter was in a hurry to go out to play and asked the teacher how many minutes to leave the class;
Classroom quiz, other children have begun to answer questions, the daughter is still fiddling with pencils...
The friend knows these shortcomings of her daughter, and is also trying her best to correct, she is very sincere with the teacher to talk about her and the child's efforts, and ask the teacher not to worry, give the child a little more time, let the child slowly correct.
My friend is a mother with a good temper and patience for her first-grade daughter. She said that after all, the teacher and the child are still short-lived, and as the person who knows the child best, if I don't believe her, who else can I expect to believe?
Yes, this trust of parents is extremely important to children.
Hoping for a son to become a dragon and a woman to become a phoenix is the wish of every parent.
When the little baby landed on the ground, I believe that many parents made good wishes and expectations for him, such as health, happiness, integrity, bravery, kindness...
In the process of children's growth, this expectation of parents will also motivate children to continue to grow.
There is a term in psychology called the "expectation effect", which usually refers to the fact that in interpersonal communication, one party's abundant feelings and higher expectations can cause subtle and profound changes in the other party.
Used between parents and children, parents expect their children to become what kind of person, the children will continue to move closer to this expectation.
My friend did a great job, and instead of telling her daughter truthfully, the teacher denied her words, but took a different approach.
"The teacher said that you are not stupid, you have great potential, as long as you use more snacks, concentrate on listening to the teacher's lectures in class, and complete your homework carefully after class, the test results will get better and better." Friends encouraged the daughter.
"Really?" The child couldn't believe it.
The friend said with certainty, yes, that's what the teacher said.
Her mother's words deeply encouraged her daughter, and in the following days, she really focused on her studies, listened carefully to lectures in class, and the quality of homework completed was much better. Every night after writing her homework, she also asked her mother to accompany her to read texts and dictate.
The hard work paid off, the next test, the friend's daughter scored more than 90 points, the teacher sent a message to the friend for the first time, saying that the child's progress made her very happy. Friends are happy, children are more inspired, and learning is more energetic.
When children are young, their parents are their whole world, and the encouragement and affirmation of their parents is the greatest motivation for them.
My friend's daughter was able to score more than 90 points, and it was also under the positive expectations of her mother that she gained good results with her own efforts.
In daily communication, parents should convey more positive expectations to their children, such as saying "you can do it" to him, and the child's acceptance of parents' expectations will be transformed into his motivation to move forward, so that he can grow better.
Therefore, when the child's results are not ideal, the wise parents will not complain and blame the child, but pass on positive expectations to the child, hoping that the child will achieve good results next time.
In parent-child communication, how can parents say that they can pass on positive expectations to their children, which can refer to the following two points:
First, say "Believe you can" to your child.
The improvement of a child's ability in a certain aspect, for example, walking from shaking to walking steadily, is inseparable from his many practices. In fact, children from infancy to maturity are inseparable from practice.
This reminds parents to let go appropriately in life, start with small things, and let children do it themselves.
Moreover, parents should give their children encouragement, telling him to "believe in you can" and "come on, you can".
With the encouragement and support of parents, I believe that children will become more and more skilled, and their skills will gradually improve in all aspects.
Second, believe in the child's ability and let the child do it
Many parents have preconceived notions that their children can only do something at a certain age.
For example, some mothers feel that children can do simple housework after the age of 3, such as serving dishes, setting dishes, etc. Below this age, the child's hand strength is not enough, and it is easy to break bowls and plates.
"You're still young, let it go", "Let me come, it's not good to draw on you", although these words express parents' worries, they also reflect parents' distrust of their children's abilities.
Imagine that a one-year-old child wants to eat by himself, and his mother thinks that he eats slowly and will spill food on the ground, and she is also annoyed to clean up, so she refuses the child's request, but feeds the child herself.
In fact, the parents' approach not only discourages the child, but also hinders the child's development in the skill of eating.
The main thing is that this is not conducive to cultivating children's self-confidence.
Parents should believe in their children, when the child shows interest in something, may wish to let the child do it, which is also conducive to cultivating the child's exploration and self-awareness.
Every child is a unique existence, and they carry the beautiful expectations of their parents.
Parents may wish to give their children more positive expectations.
The child will feel the expectation of what kind of person we expect our child to be, and he will work hard for it, or slowly approach, and most likely grow into the person we expect.
Encourage parents.