Introduction: If your child wants to chat with you, do you as a parent listen attentively, do you know the message that your child wants to express to you? So have you given the child the answer he wants, learned to listen, just with the ear is enough?
Dear parents and friends, have you learned to listen to your children well? Let's learn the language art of listening with the teacher.
The first: the form of expression in listening.
When I am in class, I usually invite 3 to 5 people to simulate the listening session, and I will arrange three roles for everyone:
The first confidant, the teacher will give him 5 minutes to talk, let him to fully explain the course of events, anything can be done.
The second listener, the listener, should listen carefully and carefully, usually I will let the listener keep his mouth shut and not speak.
The third observer, whose role is to record and describe all the aspects observed, through such a detail in a 5-minute period, the listening state and facial features of everyone can be reflected.
Through this simulated quiz, I will find that the participants tend to have the following three situations:
First, careless, the audience listens to the topic of the talker for a while, there is no interest in starting to be careless, such as a woman excitedly talking about the movie or TV series she saw yesterday, and then sitting opposite her audience, at first it is still listening to it with relish, but listening to it is impatient, and then begin to be heartbroken, seeing this link, the person who confides in it may not be willing to talk about her psychological process again.
Second, interrupting others, when the speaker is seriously telling a thing, the audience can't help but interrupt his conversation and tell the talker, what should you do? How to perfect. As a result, the observer at this time found that the audience could speak more than the narrator.
Third, the narrator is not good at talking, and he may soon end sharing his story, and at this time the audience prefers to express it, so it begins to convey some of the things she herself has experienced.
In the process of communicating with parents and children, have you encountered the above three behaviors?
If such an environment occurs, then we need to adjust our listening session appropriately, as parents should have a different way of listening to sighs and love, do not easily interrupt the child before some of his ideas want to convince the boy,
First of all, we parents should listen carefully to some of his ideas and thoughts, so that we can become a powerful supporter and supporter of our children's growth, and our children can listen to their parents. One study showed that good listeners can do 65 to 75% of the benefits.
Second: How can parents listen well?
Our children will encounter a lot of difficulties in learning in life, children will also have a depressed mood, children will be very sad, at this time we parents need to give him a release and venting environment, so our parents should be a qualified listener, and for children who have not yet entered puberty, our parents are often their best object of conversation. To listen well, you need to pay attention to three aspects:
The first is to listen with your ears, to hear clearly what our children are trying to say.
Second, when listening to parents with your eyes, you should look at the child's eyes carefully and gently and maintain close contact with your eyes.
The third is to listen carefully, we must know what kind of meaning the child wants to convey when he says these words, if the child wants to express a thing to us, when the parents listen, they must first listen with their ears, listen with their eyes, and listen with their hearts.
There are many parents who often complain that children are very obedient when they are particularly young, but when they grow up, many thoughts and things are not willing to share with their parents, at this time, I will communicate with parents and your children, as a parent, do you listen attentively?
The first reaction of the parents was that I listened well, and then I paused again, looked into the eyes of the parents, and at this time the parents began to think seriously, whether he listened well at that time, the answer was actually no.
How is listening called true listening?
If you are busy with housework, and this time the child comes to talk to you about something, you immediately put down the matter in your hand,
Then, sit with the child and listen quietly, note that two people sitting together with their eyes are level to be gentle, if it is standing the child is definitely not as tall as you, you are looking down at this time, which will destroy its equality,
When listening, we parents should tilt the body slightly to the child's side, which means that our body language is ready, just wait for the child to say it, parents will listen very carefully,
So if you happen to have a very important job on hand, at this time, you should explain to your children in a gentle tone, just say that mom and dad are now very anxious to work, can you wait for me after 5 to 10 minutes, I will go to you again?
When you listen to the child's statement, we parents should talk to the child in detail, because sometimes the child's expression is different from the parents' understanding, and the way we parents often use is the thing you just said, isn't it?
Am I right to understand that? If the child's answer is yes, then of course it is good, which shows that we answered correctly, and then we started the discussion between the two sides, if the child said some things and the parents understand is the opposite, then this communication is ineffective communication, everyone may go their own way, you say this he listens to that, and finally this kind of listening is not effective at all.
Another thing is very important, we parents should pay attention to, if the boy is telling some extreme tendencies, remember that we do not point out his mistakes to his face, which will make him feel very helpless or aggravate his rebellious mentality, parents can wait until the child is calm, in the case of the child is very happy, and then help him to analyze the wrong point of view, and then help him to make suggestions for correction.
The third kind: intimate words
When you are a parent, you should listen quietly with your ears, listen gently with your eyes, and listen quietly with your heart.
When the child is not satisfied with the parents and teachers, or when he is in a bad mood for himself, he will shout loudly and lose his temper, or even smash things, at this time, if our parents reprimand him on the spot, the child's anger lens will often become bigger and bigger.
But if parents can seriously listen to the child's voice and let him vent the dissatisfaction in the child's heart first, at this time, parents should empathize with the child's correct sunshine guidance, so that our children will be very obedient.
Summary: The premise of communication must first learn to listen carefully, listening is methodical and skilled, to have art to have a wise mind, here I welcome more parents and friends and children can interact with us to share some of the story communication cases you listened to, we jointly explore how to understand the child's words, how to enter the child's beautiful spiritual world with heart, so that parents and children care for each other and love each other.