The family is the child's first growth environment, the parents are the child's first teacher, what characteristics a child can achieve, whether there will be a future success, the family plays a decisive factor.
The most prominent children, mostly from these families, come and see if your family is like this?
01
A loving family
There is always a subtle tacit understanding between the family, although there will be stumbling, but the daily shadow has already penetrated the feelings into the bone marrow, this feeling is called love...
In a loving family, love the wife, love the husband, love the parents, love the children, love the brothers and sisters, love the pets at home, even love the potted plants in the house, love the world.
A Zen master once said, "We need to learn the techniques of creating happiness, and if we are influenced by our parents to create happiness at home when we are young, then we will naturally know how to do it." ”
Love is the best nourishment for children to grow, and children who grow up in loving families naturally learn to love.
02
The relationship between husband and wife is in the first place in the family
After many families have children, the children become the center of the family, and the other half is always the one who is abandoned relative to the children.
In fact, the best state in the family is that dad loves mom and mom loves mom and shows it anytime, anywhere, don't hide it.
Huo Siyan and Du Jiang are a model of love between husband and wife in the entertainment industry, Du Jiang always hugs his wife first when he enters the door, and then hugs and hums, and the husband and wife hug and kiss in front of hum without hesitation, showing their love.
Growing up in such an environment, Hemma will spoil his mother as a little princess, will think of bringing candy to the pet doctor, will take the initiative to care for others, he does not lack love, so he does not skimp on love.
A pair of loving parents, a pair of mutually respectful parents, are the reference for the child's future family relationship, which is basically the template of the child's new family.
03
A family that knows how to respect each other
The premise of respect is to trust children, everyone's life, there are thousands of possibilities, and the choice of life should belong to themselves.
What parents should do is to believe that their children can handle their own lives well, and parents should be an opinion-providing role in their children's lives, not decision-makers.
Let children grow up in choices and learn to bear the consequences, rather than planning their life plan and forcing them to execute.
Respecting the child is respecting the child's feelings, that is, from the child's point of view, to understand his feelings, respect the child's privacy, respect the child's emotions, and protect the child's self-esteem, which parents should do.
Parents should not only respect their children, but also respect others in the world, children grow up in such an environment, can learn self-esteem, but also learn to respect others.
04
A family with a learning atmosphere
Dong Qing said: "If you want your child to become what kind of person, you have to be what kind of person you want to be." ”
When the media interviewed Dong Jiyang of Anhui Province, he said: "Occasionally I will be tired of studying, do not want to read, my parents noticed, do not say anything, just turn off the TV, sit down to read, see them reading, I am embarrassed not to read." ”
Parents are the best teachers for children, parents for children's best education is to teach by example, if you want children to love learning, parents must first create a family with a learning atmosphere, in their leisure time, parents can put down their mobile phones, turn off the computer TV, pick up books, pick up newspapers, read more, or learn a skill.
For children who grow up in a family full of learning atmosphere, learning will become a habit of the child, rather than a burden that is enforced.
05
Positive energy family
An optimistic partner will improve the happiness index of your entire life; an optimistic pair of parents will improve the happiness index of the whole family.
The impact of the family on the child is huge, the family atmosphere will affect the child's future personality, the children who grow up in the family full of complaints are often not good at solving problems, but good at complaining, and they are pessimistic, and they always see a bad side when encountering things.
Children who grow up in a family full of hostility will have two extremes, either cowardly, timid, always hiding themselves, not daring to have their own opinions and opinions, or being grumpy and accustomed to solving problems with violence.
Children who grow up in a family full of negative energy will have some defects in their personality and will affect the child's life.
Parents should create a positive energy family, use more affirmative words in front of their children, teach children to see the world with a beautiful eye, and let children grow up in the sun.
06
A family with a sense of ceremony
Writer Wang Xiaobo said: "It is not enough for a person to only have this life and this life, but also to have a poetic world." ”
In the hustle and bustle of the day, only the sense of ritual can give life more meaning and some poetry.
The sense of ceremony is the hug every time you enter the house, the goodnight before going to bed, the family portrait of the birthday, the celebration after the achievement, the sense of ceremony, for each ordinary day, calibrated the spiritual connotation behind it.
The sense of ritual in the family allows children to have the memory of each node in their growth, rather than recalling the past, a blank space, and repeating the monotonous life of every day.
In the United Kingdom, the first day of primary school enrollment is a particularly important day, on this day, the school will require children to wear school uniforms, stand upright, take a small school bag to go to school, and take a photo at the door of the house.
This is the sense of ceremony, with this photo full of ritual, this day will become a day that children remember deeply, a day of extraordinary significance.
Psychologists say that those families that can inherit the "sense of family ritual" from generation to generation have a happier parent-child relationship, and the child's sense of belonging, security, and purpose are very high, and even healthier and better academic performance.
07
Family with rules
There must be love in the family, and there must be rules, and love without principle will become coddling.
Love and rules are not opposites, but unity, and I agree with the sentence: "Freedom with rules is called liveliness; freedom without rules is called wanton; non-arrogance is called rules, and inactivity is called dullness." ”
Establishing family rules, first of all, is a sense of responsibility, parents have this awareness to correct their children's bad habits, and children have this awareness to make the family better because of good habits.
House rules are not only for children, but for every member of the family, parents should also be strict with themselves, set an example for their children, and establish good family rules from an early age, for children, these rules will become habits, not constraints.
Parents are originals, children are copies, copies are wrong, what you want to change is the original! Every move of a parent will be deeply imprinted in the heart of the child.
To raise excellent children, it is not enough to work children.
Parents change their concepts, be their children's role models, and are willing to grow up with their children, which is the panacea for cultivating excellent children.