Illuminate yourself, illuminate others, and the education of love is the future
Dad and I are not born to be dads, dad is also the first time to be a dad. - "Please Answer 1988"
Today's small video makes people laugh and feel sad. It is jokingly called by the majority of netizens - a small cotton jacket that leaks wind.
The video was taken by the child's father, probably the daughter said to complete the homework "wash the feet of the parents", the father soaked the feet, and waited for the daughter to come.
The daughter was able to cooperate with it, but she did not expect that the daughter who held the mobile phone in one hand, the hand in the basin of water twice, saw that the video was taken well, and turned away without hesitation, and slammed the door shut.
Some people say that it is just a posing shot, but I think that maybe my father really thinks that the event is very memorable, so he is ready to shoot it, but he predicted the process, but he did not expect this ending.
Some netizens also began to count the "foot washing for parents" incident that they had experienced since childhood, and many people questioned why they had to use "foot washing" to express filial piety, thinking that the current gratitude education was too formal.
But in fact, instead of paying attention to the formal filial piety such as "washing feet", we should see what our parents and teachers want to convey to their children through "foot washing".
01 From form to value
In fact, many people's impression of "washing their parents' feet" probably comes from a public service advertisement on CCTV. The actor who once played Xiaoyu in "Family with Children" was first known to everyone because of this advertisement.
A 3- or 4-year-old boy, seeing that his mother came home from work, was very tired, so he stumbled all the way to take a basin of water to help his mother wash her feet. It's very warm and touching.
And there are also many netizens who broke the news that when they were young, they tried to wash their parents' feet because they watched this advertisement, although they laughed a lot because they took cold water and sprinkled water.
But in fact, for young children, even if the operation is wrong, it has a good educational significance for parents.
Because of improper operation, it is only the child's ability to act, but it is undeniable that the child truly sees the hard work of the parents and understands the parents' difficulty, which is actually more valuable.
As Teacher Dada said in the "Family Education Reading Society": If parents can give more encouragement in the small positive behavior of their children "washing their parents's feet", helping to "sweep the floor", and helping to "wipe the table", they can gradually cultivate their children's values and sense of responsibility.
Just like in the video, the teacher asks the child to go back to wash the feet of the parents, and the child will do it, in fact, because she believes in the authority of the teacher, the teacher is the person she respects and loves, she is willing to believe what the teacher said, and believes that this thing is right.
But if in this process, because she did it but did not do it well, like many netizens laughed at themselves, because they were beaten by their parents with cold water, or the parents directly stopped the child from saying: Don't do these things, you just need to pay attention to learning.
In this process, the child is actually seeking verification in the conflict between the values of the teacher and the parents. Eventually he may trust one side, or he may have his own judgment.
If at this time, parents can give some positive responses or supplements, such as thanking the child for being able to experience his own hardships, and being very happy that the child can help you do something, in fact, the child will naturally see the value behind the form of "washing feet".
"Foot washing" is actually helping parents to do things, in this process, when we see the value behind the behavior, then the child does not have the ability of parents to help the child improve the ability.
With the ability, the positive response given by the parents can let him see that he can contribute to the family, which is valuable, in fact, in the family education, our parents ultimately want to give the child a sense of value and belonging.
When a person has enough sense of belonging in the family, it will be easier to go out and ultimately realize the value of the individual in society.
This is actually the process of the child's ability, to the value behind the understanding, and then to obtain a sense of value and belonging, and this is also the premise of a person's self-discipline and self-reliance.
02 Parents respond positively, so that children can be self-disciplined and self-reliant
Everything has its positive significance, and many times these daily things are the real test for parents.
So here are a few of the principles mentioned in Dada's "Family Education Reading Club":
1, the first principle is not to harm
Just like many netizens complained about their childhood experience of "washing their parents' feet", they were originally well-intentioned but did not expect to do bad things, and they felt guilty because they did wrong things, and they also had to be criticized and scolded by their parents, and they were injured.
In fact, this is a great test for parents, that is, parents should find his "positive motivation" behind the child's bad behavior, and guide his behavior while encouraging and affirming his positive motivation.
This is also the first principle here, that is, not to cause emotional harm.
2, see the child's inner needs
Of course, on the other hand, it is actually necessary to see what the child really wants behind the behavior.
This is actually a point where many netizens question the significance of the matter of "washing the feet of parents". It is to think that the form of "foot washing" is too old, meaningless, and it is not necessary to convey their filial piety to their parents through "foot washing", which is actually what parents need to see.
First of all, the meaning of this matter is actually determined by the child himself. If the child is to gain the approval of the parents, it may actually have a negative impact. (Read past articles in detail)
But what if the child approves of helping his parents do things from the bottom of his heart, and thinks that he is part of the family and is willing to pay for the labor, what if he is actually "washing his feet"?
3, emotionally to see the appearance, behavior to be strict
Just like the girl in the video, we shouldn't simply blame her for taking the video, because we don't understand what happened before the father and daughter.
At the same time, her feelings, or her own rejection of "washing her parents' feet", need to be accepted by her parents. If there is a mistake, it is only that her current behavior is indeed inappropriate.
So we limit only the behavior, not the child's emotions.
There are no perfect parents, there are no perfect children, and every conflict between parents and children is actually an opportunity for change.
Just like "Please Answer 1988", Dad Shan Dad said: Dad, I am not born to be a dad, Dad is also the first time to be a dad.
Therefore, every conflict with the child is also a growth for us as parents.
Part of the original content comes from Dada teacher's "Family Education Reading Club" sharing, the book club is now recruiting...
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