"Female Psychologist" is a history of women's struggle, the protagonist Horton grew up in poverty, the pressure of survival and the destruction of the soul like a nightmare has been suppressing her. In order to survive, she has suffered a lot and suffered many sins, but she always has the belief that as long as she does not die, she will eventually emerge.
In order to achieve a career, in order to live with dignity, she did not hesitate to sell her body, even in exchange for marriage, and in the end she got everything she wanted, but she did not feel the expected happiness.
01 Horton's character formation
Horton was abandoned by her father when she was six years old, and she has an older sister, and the two sisters are dependent on their mother for their lives, and their lives are very hard. Later, my sister had been bleeding from the nose, and she couldn't stop it, and in the era when she couldn't eat enough, her mother had the money to take her to the city to see a doctor, and she could only watch her die.
In order to support Horton, the mother could only work as a prostitute, so there were constantly men coming and going in the family, accompanied by the disgusted eyes of the villagers. But when a man comes, Horton has something to eat, half a bun, or a small piece of meat. The power of hunger made her disdainful of the fierceness of others' eyes, let alone talk about dignity. Between steamed buns and dignity, she chose steamed buns because she understood that being alive was more important than anything else.
However, Horton is only in elementary school, and her mother is unable to earn money, but fortunately she has found a man who can serve as a long-term meal ticket and her life has settled down. Just as the so-called poor are in the downtown area, no one asks, the rich have distant relatives in the mountains, and the aunt who has not been in touch for a long time has actually appeared and asked her mother to see her.
But her mother left her to live with her stepfather, and Horton, who was only twelve years old, was raped by her stepfather. But in order to have food to eat, in order to survive, she hid all this pain.
In order to survive, it is necessary to endure and pay; as long as she does not die, there may be a day of emergence, and eventually it will be exchanged for a higher dignity one day, which is the life values that her mother taught to Horton by words and deeds and reality, so she has become incomparably tenacious, and in order to live well, she can give everything in exchange.
02 Exchange your body for money and get the chance to change your destiny
After his mother's death, in order to live, Horton held the only few dozen dollars in his hand, went into the city to make a living, and fortunately met his first friend Tang Xiaoxi on the street, Tang Xiaoxi worked as a nurse in a hospice nursing home. With her help, Horton found a job and a place to stay.
Horton's job was to wash the sheets in the laundry room, rubbing the sheets that were dirty with the feces of the elderly every day, rubbing her hands and peeling her hands and swollen fingers, but for this livelihood income, she worked hard to wash the hard-to-wash white sheets clean.
Her efforts were not in vain, and here she met grandma He, the noble person of her life. Grandma He was once a teacher, and at the time of her death, Horton took care of her diet and living, while Grandma He taught her to read, taught her the principle of how to behave in the world, and cultivated her to be as knowledgeable and knowledgeable as everyone, calm and elegant.
Although the life of the dying nursing home can also be fed, Grandma He's words and deeds and the books she has read have opened Horton's vision, she is not willing to live a life without hope, she wants to go to a bigger stage to explore a meaningful life.
She went to apply for a sales lady, but was not hired because of her ugly looks; she went to sell cosmetics, but the business was difficult. She stumbles upon a psychological institute on the street, which opens up her world to become a counselor, provided she takes a training course and passes an exam to obtain a qualification certificate, which requires a lot of money.
The money she earns from odd jobs is only a drop in the bucket, only enough to make ends meet, far from paying tuition, and the course of the psychologist training class is about to start, she must earn money as soon as possible, the only way is to return to the old business, and then go wholesale cosmetics to sell, but to whom? She thought of the bald man who had tried to usurp her when she was selling goods. In this way, Horton exchanged his body for tuition.
When she was a child, her mother exchanged her body for money to support Horton, which was forced by life to take care of dignity. And now, she also exchanged her body for money, and got the opportunity to change her destiny, for a higher dignity.
03 In order to open a psychological clinic, exchange marriage for houses, and use bodies for opening funds
Horton got the certificate of psychologist with the first place in the examination, and she paid too much for this certificate. If there is a payoff, she expects something in return, so she decided to open a psychological institute. She found Sha Yin, a classmate of the training class, and also found Tang Xiaoxi as a partner.
Under the management of her and Tang Xiaoxi, all the preparation processes have been familiar, and there are only two problems left: one is the need for a house as a business location, and the other is to have 100,000 yuan as the opening capital. But the two men went through all the pockets on their bodies, and all the savings were all gone, and they were still far apart.
The only way is to find someone to borrow money, but where can such a rich person find it? At this time, The son of the landlord who lived with Horton confessed to her. At the same time, qian Kaiyi, an anchor who works on the radio station, Horton's golden partner, also proposed to her.
Bai Wanfu's family has a house, Qian Kaiyi works well and has a high income, Horton is really a bit difficult to choose, although she does not love both, but what does it matter, in her opinion, as long as they are good to themselves, can complete their careers, let themselves live better, marriage and body can be used as chips.
Just like sheng minglan's concept of marriage in "Knowing or Not": love is not necessarily needed in marriage, and as a woman, she should not focus on the love of her children and achieve economic and spiritual independence.
Therefore, in order to open a psychological clinic, Horton chose to marry Bai Wanfu, who had a house, and then designed a relationship with Qian Kaiyi, using his guilt for himself to borrow 100,000 yuan, so Horton's psychological clinic was able to open smoothly.
epilogue
In this way, Horton is a cruel person, for the sake of the future, she does not hesitate to sell her body, but this is also the only shortcut she can achieve her dreams.
Psychology believes that if childhood is happy, we are more likely to replicate happiness; if childhood is painful, we are more likely to replicate suffering.
Horton's character throughout his life was greatly influenced by his mother. The experience of poverty in her childhood made her have to endure humiliation and burden, endure many pains and sufferings that do not match her age, and look forward to one day being born again.
But the way to cope with suffering also penetrates deep into the bone marrow, and in order to be reborn, Horton follows the mother's method, exchanging his body for money and marriage to make ends meet. Although she got the career she wanted, she suffered from mental illness, and the trauma of childhood will accompany her life, and she can only use her life to heal her childhood.