Under the double reduction, the social cram school was stopped, and the family education began to roll in again.
Mr. Mao is a Ph.D. graduate tiger father with a 7-year-old son who is in the first grade of primary school and a 5-year-old daughter who is attending kindergarten.
According to common sense, even if it is an inner roll or a chicken baby, after all, the child is too small, and it will not be too excessive.
But what is unexpected is that this doctoral tiger father often teaches middle school and university knowledge to his two children. Not only did the two children learn the language and speech, but also let the two children learn difficult knowledge such as advanced mathematics, and the children were required to learn until late at night.
In addition, in the process of educating children to learn, he often uses insulting words to insult children, and sometimes even beats them.
The child's mother had no choice but to apply for a personal protection order, but in the process of multi-party intervention and coordination, the doctor's father still did not realize the impropriety of his own education method, but instead believed that disciplining the child was a family affair, and repeatedly refused to accept the coordination of relevant personnel.
In the end, it was ruled that although the father did not cause serious physical damage to the child, there was long-term abuse and demeaning of the child for mental abuse, which was also domestic violence.
Looking forward to a son into a dragon and a daughter into a phoenix, this is a very normal idea of parenthood. However, it is really not advisable to rush to achieve success, to ascend to the heavens one step at a time, and to promote education by pulling up seedlings. So in the face of children's learning problems, what kind of attitude should parents respond to? Xi Xi's mother believes that the following points are particularly important -
(1) Excessive chicken babies will only consume interest in learning.
Why double subtraction? Many parents have not yet figured it out. They do not think that the double reduction is to help the child reduce the burden, but believes that the double reduction is a good time to make the child stand out. Because other people's children are slowly following the progress of the school, while his children are many years ahead of their time. However, parents' temporary sense of achievement often breaks their children's enthusiasm for learning, but instead appears more rebellious behavior in adolescence.
Two days ago, I met a friend, she said that she came into contact with a student, in the third grade of primary school, has now completed the content of the fifth grade of primary school, the child always said that the school's third grade topic is too simple, but every time the school test, in fact, the child is difficult to stabilize the high score.
I asked her, what was the child doing in the classroom when he went to school? When she watched the teacher talk about some topics that were almost pediatric for her, she should not be interested in learning, and she should have no desire to learn. Friends said that the child herself said that forcing herself to sit in every class in the classroom was a torment for her.
Advanced learning is suitable for individual children and also in line with the development rules of individual children, but not all children are suitable for advanced learning.
Some children's teachers have taught knowledge that can no longer satisfy his curiosity, and he is eager to learn a little more every day, a little more. When he returned to class, he not only did not feel torment and pain, but also had a feeling of being warm and new. But if some children learn a little bit of content in advance, the children will be extra savorable, and the class will feel light and fluttery, looking east and west for a while, and looking left and right for a while.
(2) The requirements for children should not be extreme.
In the face of Dr. Tiger Dad's 5-year-old daughter and 7-year-old son, learning literary and high numbers, netizens can't help but wonder: "Can you understand?" "Yes, like linear algebra, calculus, spatial geometry and other content, without the accumulation and precipitation of knowledge in elementary and junior high schools all year round, how can children be thorough?
In this day and age, the vast majority of families have extremely high expectations for their children's academic performance. Parents themselves have lower education families, always longing for their children to be able to actively forge ahead, change their destiny, and do their best to avoid detours. Like this doctor Tiger Dad, parents who are relatively high in academic qualifications themselves hope to cultivate their children into so-called prodigies through their own efforts.
As parents, our requirements for children's learning must be in line with their own abilities and levels. Respecting the physical and mental development of children, guiding and educating children with correct ideas and methods is the most critical part.
I have mentioned more than once in the article that the requirements for children must not be too ambitious. For example, the child's current ability can only be tested 60 points, but parents always like to put pressure on their children with a standard of 100 points. Looking at the gap of up to 40 points, the child is afraid that he has not had time to work hard, and he is already discouraged.
Yes, we all know that everything is predetermined, and if it is not predetermined, it is abolished. But for the setting of children's goals, we can set them at a higher level than the child's current level of 3-5 points, so that children have the confidence to overcome before working hard. Then push forward layer by layer, step by step, the progress will naturally be particularly obvious.
(3) Accept your child's achievements and motivate your child in a relaxed way.
On December 7, a video of a 7-year-old boy in Shenzhen, Guangdong Province, suspecting that he was not born to his parents and wanted a blood test went viral.
In the video, a boy in a school uniform walks up to his mother and asks, "Is his son still related by blood?" ”
"You must be related to your father by blood!" How can you not be related to me by blood? Mom asked rhetorically.
The son poked at each other with his hands in a cramped and uneasy way, and replied to his mother: "I want to have a blood test now." ”
"You don't have to test, you don't have to test, you don't have to." Mom answered affirmatively.
The son still did not stop, and continued to pester: "No, I am afraid that if I pick it up?" ”
Dad replied, "You look at your face, your mother's face, and you know if you picked it up." ”
It turned out that after this cute 7-year-old boy watched the online family search video, he was criticized for writing his homework, so he began to suspect that he was not biological, and he had the idea of wanting to test his blood.
When it comes to children's scores and problems such as procrastination, friction, and inefficiency in doing homework, many parents are like they are loveless. But in fact, motivating children to study well is not only the two ways of insulting or filial piety under the stick.
Last month, a video of a grandmother encouraging her granddaughter to score 51 went viral. Grandma said solemnly: "It's okay, only 49 points is 100 points!" You still have half plus one point, it's okay, it's all right to work hard. Come on! ”
If we as parents always transmit negative energy to our children, then children must suspect that they are not born to read. And if parents can positively guide their children to work harder, even if their current grades are not very good, they are willing to study well under this encouragement and trust.
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Education should conform to the law of children's physical and mental development, and pulling up seedlings to promote growth can only make small seedlings wither early. I hope every child can be treated with tenderness!