1.
After giving birth, Zhan Lu lost her beloved job and became a stay-at-home mother.
Zhan Lu's second child was an accident, and she was not ready to have another child, although the first child was a daughter.
The second child is a son. The mother-in-law loved this late grandson so much that she would often come back with a large group of people to see her grandson.
Even when Zhan Lu feeds the child, the mother-in-law will not hesitate to take the child away directly, which feels as if Zhan Lu can't hold the child well.
Zhan Lu felt that her mother-in-law just wanted to embarrass herself.
The husband came home from work and looked like he wanted to have a child, but in fact, all he had in mind was his ball game.
Zhan Lu has endless housework at home every day.
As soon as the ground was wiped, the mother-in-law let herself cook.
Before the dish was finished, the husband asked loudly in the living room: "Is the rice ready?" "It was as if a large family was waiting for her to cook a meal to eat."
Zhan Lu can endure these things, and what makes her most intolerable is her mother-in-law's preference for sons and daughters.
One day, she actually heard her mother-in-law say to her husband: "Stop Dabao's painting interest class!" I wasn't ready to train her to be a big artist anyway. ”
Dabao teased Erbao to play, making Erbao cry, and the mother-in-law ran to push Dabao away in a hurry, and also loudly reprimanded Dabao, saying that Dabao hated it.
Dabao hugged Zhan Lu and cried.
All of this was about to drive Zhan Lu crazy. She sometimes felt that her mind was empty, and when she came back, she found that she was already in tears.
When she pushed Erbao across the street and waited for the traffic light, she even had an urge to push the cart out...
Without children, can your life go back to the past?
2.
From childhood to adulthood, Zhan Lu is what neighbors call "other people's children".
She is smart and capable, and her academic performance has always been among the best. When she was in high school, because she wanted to be a novelist, she ignored her father's objections and chose the literature department when she volunteered for the college entrance examination.
After graduating from college, she worked in a publishing house while writing novels. Before she could become famous, she got married.
Soon she had the big treasure, and a few months ago she had the second treasure.
She thought she could juggle work and family. However, as the work went wrong one after another, the leader began to look at her more and more impatiently. Later, the leader advised her to concentrate on going home to take care of the children, and then she did not have a job.
After not going to work full-time with the child, the child's performance in all aspects has become the assessment standard for Zhan Lu's personal ability. Whenever there is a problem on the child's side, she will be very depressed and feel that she is a useless mother.
That day, Zhan Lu sent Dabao to school, and just happened to run into a teacher standing at the school gate surrounded by a large group of parents.
She asked the teacher About Dabao's learning, and the teacher said: "I let the child go home and do the electronic wrong question bank with the parents. It's been a week, and only your family hasn't done it. ”
Zhan Lu didn't know that Dabao had such homework because she was too busy every day. She has to do housework and has to take care of The Second Treasure.
She was preoccupied with her teacher that she would soon make up the assignment.
Then, in the instant after turning around, she couldn't control her over-nervousness and wet her pants in public.
Probably because she was in a hurry to send Dabao to school in the morning and did not go to the toilet before going out. After giving birth to the second treasure, her pelvic floor muscles were a little loose, and she would always be a little incontinent.
Summer, who was already wearing less, diapers dripped down the hem of his pants, and a little boy saw it and shouted, "She's wetting her pants!" I don't pee my pants anymore, she's so big that she still pees her pants! ”
The little boy's laughter and the strange expressions of the people around her made her feel landless, eager to find a seam to drill into.
Dabao heard the noise, looked back at his mother, shouted "Mother" anxiously, and began to run towards her.
She didn't want Dabao to come and join her to accept the ridicule of the people around her, so she waved her hand and shouted loudly to Dabao, "Don't come here!" ”
Dabao was obviously frightened by her mother's volume, she stopped, but the next second she ran over desperately and hugged her mother and cried.
Zhan Lu lowered her head, looked at her daughter's small face full of tears, and couldn't help but shed tears...
Zhan Lu told her family about her frustration. The mother-in-law said that women come this way, and her husband also thinks that she thinks too much.
3.
Zhan Lu, the second-child mother in the hit drama "Female Psychologist", lost her job after giving birth to her second child, took the child full-time, was at a loss in the face of the great changes in life, and finally suffered from postpartum depression.
Zhan Lu in the play was scolded by the teacher for not completing the homework, nervous enough to pee his pants in public, exaggerated? I don't think it's an exaggeration at all.
Watching her seem helpless in the play, I also developed a sense of empathy for helplessness. Although I didn't have the point of suffering from postpartum depression when I gave birth to my second child, I experienced many of the episodes in the show.
The other half did not ask, the difference in parenting philosophy between the two generations, the doubt of self-worth and the guilt of Dabao, I have faced these things.
Even today, these problems arise occasionally.
In the TV series, Zhan Lu finally slowly walked out of postpartum depression through psychological counseling. The psychotherapy of female psychologist Horton, to sum up, can be roughly divided into these three stages:
1. Life isn't that good, but it's not that bad either
Mothers with postpartum depression are particularly sensitive, and they will always infinitely amplify the contradictions and conflicts in their lives, thus ignoring the peace and warmth that make up the majority of life.
In the play, the psychologist Horton takes Zhan Lu to recollect the trivialities of life that she cannot stand. Originally:
The mother-in-law will also intimately go to the vegetable market to buy the fish that Zhan Lu likes to eat. Rather than roaring Dabao, the mother-in-law will talk to Dabao more often and cheerfully;
When her husband came home from work, he took the initiative to take the second treasure from her hand, and his mouth was still chanting: "Daddy hug, let Mom take a break." The husband will also remind his mother behind his back and let her take care of Zhan Lu's emotions.
Life may not be that good, but it's definitely not that bad either. Look at the good in life, and the days will not be so sad.
2. Put aside the surface to find the key to the problem
After giving birth to the second treasure, Zhan Lu was particularly afraid that the big treasure would be snubbed. She was afraid that because of the birth of Erbao, The quality of life of Dabao would decline and her learning resources would decrease.
When she heard her mother-in-law say that she would stop Dabao's interest class, Zhan Lu was particularly uncomfortable, and she was most afraid of such a thing.
She originally felt that giving birth to the second treasure was a betrayal and irresponsibility to the big treasure. She is afraid that the living environment at home will be detrimental to Dabao's character cultivation, thus affecting Dabao's life.
But she underestimated her child's ability to self-regulate. After Erbao was born, although the family divided a lot of their original attention to Dabao to Erbao. But her big treasure did not suffer too much from this.
Dabao is still a lively and cheerful, well-behaved and sensible little girl. When her mother wet her pants in public, she did not choose to run away, but stood by her mother's side without hesitation.
3. Find a balance between yourself and family
Zhan Lu is a woman with pursuit and courage. At the age of 18, she was able to stick to her dreams, choose to fill in her favorite major, and later work hard to achieve her dreams.
The helplessness and disappointment of having a second child must be just a temporary dilemma.
When the hormones in the body gradually become balanced, she will slowly find herself and find a balance between family and self, children and dreams.
This balance may be difficult to find, but as long as you work hard and persevere, life will always get better and better.
"Female Psychologist" is based on Bi Shumin's novel of the same name. The author, Bi Shumin, is an excellent registered psychological counselor.
This play has artistic processing for the work of psychological counseling. But fading those superficial processes to see the essence, it does do some popularization of psychological knowledge to the audience.
In addition to the interpretation of postpartum depression, the play also elaborates on many psychological therapy cases such as suicide intervention, how the flattering personality says "no" to others, and shame because of the physical reaction when sexually assaulted.
"The Female Psychologist" is very warm and healing, and it is definitely worth watching.