“the reason i forgive you is because you are not perfect.you are imperfect,and so am i.” - "Mary and Marx"
Mary and Marx
"Forgetting the year" is a precious and beautiful description of friendship. I remember in middle school, when learning English was very popular penpal (penpal), and making an international penpal was a very fashionable thing. The collision of ideas between people of different ages, different countries and different social experiences has brought about an international cultural exchange.
Have you ever thought that there is someone who can share all your joys and worries?
Without interfering with each other's lives, a pure friendship that spans distances, a friend who is down-to-earth and caring, and puts himself in the shoes of your problem solving problems.
pen pal
The two protagonists in "Mary and Marx" are such a pair of pen pals, one 8 years old, one 44 years old, one living in Australia, one living in New York, two pen pals who span ages and distances, share each other's questions and lives through letters, and gradually get away from loneliness in each other's encouragement and get redemption.
The work is an Australian clay animation released in 2009, is the opening work of the Sundance Film Festival (founded in 1984, dedicated to independent filmmakers, is the world's premier independent film festival), directed by Adam Eliot, most of his works show his humanistic care for people with physical or psychological defects, most of whom have learned about his works, most of them can learn from these film and television works, reflect on personal life, and thus live with a more upward attitude. The work is co-starred by Toni Collette, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Eric Barna and others.
Poster of the work
The film tells the story of a 20-year friendship between a pair of multinational penpals, and the work is also a semi-autobiographical film by the director. Under the contrast between the two shades of light and dark, it is the life of two people who have completely different life experiences but have similarities in personality. By chance they begin to communicate with each other and slowly discover each other's common hobbies, love chocolate and love the "Arnolds" animation, the most important two people have no friends are lonely beings. Mary was inferior because of her "poopy" birthmark, and Marx had mental illness.
Mary, Marx
They were linked by a transnational letter through which they expressed their views on the world and received encouragement and comfort from their hearts. Of course, the young girl Mary's youthful heart also poked at the painful experience of middle-aged Marx, which once made him collapse. The fortress of adults is sometimes easily crushed by the innocence of children, and the kind Marx finally decides to forgive Mary. They began to communicate again until Marx finally left this world, and the 20 years of correspondence between them witnessed this indestructible friendship.
In 1976, the 8-year-old girl lived a gray life, with a "poop color" birthmark on her head, she was very inferior because of her appearance, and her reticent father always did not care much about her, only liked to make specimens of dead birds she picked up. Her mother was an alcoholic, always liked to petty thieves, and always said that she was an "accident". Mary was born unexpectedly by her parents after drinking, and her parents did not have love, so they were so indifferent to her. Although she wanted the care of her siblings and parents, she never had it.
Mary
From her grandfather's mouth, she learned that she was found by her fathers from under the beer cup, so she thought that Australian babies came out of the beer cup, and by chance she saw many American names on the American Yellow Pages at the post office, and she randomly selected Marx as her confidant, and she wanted to know how American children came to be.
Marx, a 44-year-old New York man, received this letter full of children's doubts, if it is an ordinary "normal person", they may laugh and ignore it, but Marx, who suffers from Asperger's disease, received the letter with shock, and after he calmed himself down with his usual operation, he did his best to answer Mary's question.
reply
When Mary was ridiculed for her birthmark, Marx taught her a way to easily crush each other; when Marx said that he was too obese to lose weight, Mary also used his brain to give Marx a weight loss method with the first letter of the week as the initial of the "weight loss recipe". They happily share everything around them and also share their troubles.
Marx
Until the childlike Mary caused great mental pressure on Marx because of "things related to love", Marx, who recalled his childhood past and life setbacks, was hospitalized for eight months in insane, and Mary, who could not wait for a reply, thought that Marx abandoned herself because of her excessive problems, she burned Marx's letter and prepared to completely forget it, at this time she was full of negative energy, "resentment, doubt and self-loathing".
Mary who gave up
Marx, who was discharged from the hospital, won the lottery, bought a lifetime of chocolate and "Arnold's" dolls, the three major goals of life have been completed two, at this time Marx's neighbor friend has died, the thought of Mary is increasing day by day, with the help of a psychologist, he confessed to Mary that he has Asperger's disease and stated to her the relevant symptoms of this disease, can not understand the literal meaning of words, can not understand the expression on the face of others, is not good at expressing feelings, too sensitive, and very easy to be frightened , likes to solve things.
Easy to be afraid of
Crucially, Marx, suffering from this mental illness, did not feel sick, defective, or in need of treatment, except for one thing that Marx wished he could learn to cry.
The friendship between the two was constantly strengthened and sublimated in the sharing and answering, and Mary gradually grew up, until Mary took Marx's mental illness as her own university topic in order to study Marx's mental illness, and wrote a related book using Marx as an example, sent it to Marx with a letter and attached "I hope to cure your disease as soon as possible.".
Mary's letter
From the foreshadowing, we can see that Marx did not feel that his symptoms were a disease, nor did he think of treatment. Furious, Marx angrily pulled out the "m" representing the initials of "Mary" on the typewriter and sent it to Mary as a reply.
Marx received the book
Mary, who was preparing to go out to visit Marx, was deeply aware of her mistake, and the apology letter she sent never received a reply, and Mary began to falter, and her husband left her. As Mary was disappointed in herself and ready to end her life, Marx sent her a full collection of Arnold dolls, and she was forgiven.
Mary was forgiven
They reconciled as before, and Mary regained the courage to live. After giving birth to the baby, he took the baby with him to visit his pen pal Marx, who has been living for more than 20 years, and the person who gave him the courage and pillar of life has passed away happily.
。
Love yourself
Mary, a normal person, has been insecure since she was a child because of the "poop color" birthmark on her head, the indifference of her parents to inferiority, and her inability to express her heart expresses emotions through the mood ring, but there is no ring that can express "happiness". Like a boy, but because of her own appearance and inferiority, she has always thought that she is not good enough and not beautiful enough so no one loves herself, so she wants to get a sense of security through plastic surgery to remove the birthmark, but removing the birthmark that represents "ugly" still does not allow her to find confidence.
Loss of self-confidence
In her letter, she told Marx: "Maybe love is not for me."
Instead, I received a cookie engraved with "love yourself first" as a reply.
。 Following Marx's advice, Mary threw away the mood ring and reaped the love of her first love.
wedding
Mary has always felt that the birthmark is a mistake that affects her life, so she thinks that eliminating this birthmark will make her life better, and as Marx's close friend, she feels that Marx, who has Asperger's disease, also needs to "eliminate" this symptom and be a normal person. But Marx was never ashamed of this, he realized that it was a "mental disability", but he did not need treatment and enjoyed being a "Yaspai".
He faces and deals with everything in the world in his own way, and determines the correctness of his way. He believes that those "normal people" are the ones who have always been self-contradictory, need oxygen, but go to cut down trees, and the buses are never on time but arrange schedules. It seems that unlike "normal people", Marx, who sees that cigarette butts cannot control himself, has been teaching Mary how to love himself in the right way, and Marx can accept his shortcomings and will not deny his own value because of the views of others.
Marx's teachings
In contrast, the "normal person" Mary is the existence who has always relied on others to evaluate herself, and Marx has always been her spiritual pillar. After losing Marx because of the book, she rejected her husband because of her lack of trust, and her husband's departure made her lose her belief in living.
The distance between Mary and her husband's heart
When Mary treated Marx as a psychiatric patient and tried to cure him, it was a denial of him, the only friend he identified, and he knew nothing about his self-recognition for so many years, and he could not recognize such a friend. But when Marx realized that everyone was imperfect, he chose to forgive Mary, "When I was young, I wanted to be anyone but myself." "Everyone must learn to know themselves and affirm themselves in order to learn to love themselves." Loving yourself involves accepting one's own inadequacies, recognizing the inadequacies of others, and learning to live in peace with this imperfect world.
Know yourself
Marx eventually gave it to Mary the principles he had studied and implemented throughout his life. Mary eventually learned to love herself and live in peace with the world.
"We can't choose our flaws, they're part of us and we have to adapt to them. But we can choose our own friends, and I'm glad I chose you myself. ”
When Mary came to see Marx with the child on her back, the best friend of her life had quietly left, with a smile on his face, the "little book of expressions" still around, and he finally waited for the only friend of his life.
See you at the end
Before he died, he was still looking at the letters sent by Mary, and after he had ironed them with irons, he had plastered the pictures, letters and paintings on the walls, and he had spent 20 years finding and maintaining this friendship.
Marx's life had three wishes:
1. Inexhaustible chocolate;
2. A full set of "Arnolds" dolls;
3. A true friend.
Marx's three wishes
The first two he easily won with the money he won the lottery, but his friend did everything he could to try. Although Mary had done him a lot of harm, he never really gave up on the friendship. In the world that makes him angry, he is also trying to learn to get along with it. Marx, who has always insisted on working hard to realize his dreams, is the person who is most worthy of our learning in life.
Learn from Marx
“you are my best friend. you are my only friend.”
Life is not full everywhere, but encounters give us more reasons to persevere. Marx, who suffers from Asperger's disease, can't recognize feelings or express them on his face, but he says his brain is already smiling. There are not many people who love him, but he is trying his best to love everyone around him. Bullied and snubbed, Mary once lost all hope in life, but she gained the energy to grow again in Marx, and she also woke up in front of fame and fortune, just to protect her friends. Two ordinary people with flaws, because of the encounter eventually gained growth and happiness.
Mary's letter
Marx and Mary finally met after 20 years of knowing each other, and perhaps that was the best ending for them.