As we all know, Confucianism is very particular about etiquette, and the Confucian school represented by Confucius often emphasizes "self-denial and retribution". And this "ritual" is actually "Zhou Li". In the "Zhou Li", the Zhou Gong made detailed regulations on people's clothing, food, housing, and transportation, and did not allow the slightest excess. In terms of life behavior, Confucianism emphasizes that "standing has a standing posture and sitting has a sitting phase." "If it doesn't match etiquette, it will be laughed at by the world." Mencius, on the other hand, wanted a divorce because his wife was sitting indecently.
Mencius
In the "Han Shi Wai Biography", there is such a story, called "Mencius wants to divorce his wife". It is said that Mencius returned home one day and saw his wife sitting alone at home on two legs, in a very "bold" posture. Mencius instantly felt that his face was dull, so he went to his mother and said, "My wife does not pay attention to etiquette, I will leave her." Meng Mu did not listen to her son's one-sided words, but asked, "Why doesn't she talk about etiquette anymore?"
Mencius said angrily, "She sat with her legs crossed, isn't that not a lack of etiquette?" Meng Mu asked, "How did you know that she had forked her legs?" Mencius said, "I saw it with my own eyes!" Meng Mu said: "This is because you don't pay attention to etiquette, not that your wife doesn't pay attention to etiquette." Doesn't the Book of Rites say that? When you are about to enter the house, first ask who is still in the house. When you are about to enter the hall, be sure to spread it out loud and let the people in the hall know that you are coming. When entering the house, the eyes must look down to prevent others from being unprepared. ”
Mencius's wife
"Now you go to the place where your wife is resting, and you walk without making a sound, so you see your wife sitting with her legs outstretched. It's that you're rude, it's not that your wife isn't being rude!" Mencius was intimidated by his old mother, feeling that he was wrong, and no longer dared to mention the words of divorce. From this incident, it can also be seen that Meng Mu is not only a good mother, but also a good mother-in-law. It is under her education that Mencius can become a generation of "sub-saints".
So what conditions did the ancients need to have to divorce their wives? The Book of Dai Li (大戴礼· Honmei) records that a woman who violates the following seven items will be dismissed by her husband. They are: go regardless of parents; Childless to go; Fornication; Jealousy goes; There are evil diseases going; Talk more; Steal away. In these "seven go", except for "childless" and "evil diseases", the others are women who are expelled from the house with poor moral character, even in today's society.
Why shouldn't "childless" and "ill- and ill-medicated" be used as criteria for repudiation? Because according to biological knowledge, the pregnancy of husband and wife is a matter for both men and women. Childlessness is not necessarily a woman's fault, it's possible that something is wrong with the man. Without children, it is really disgraceful to let a woman carry this pot. The ancients believed that "there was a bad disease" to divorce the wife because once the wife was seriously ill, she could not participate in the family sacrifice.
Meng Mu
The ancients regarded family sacrifices as important, believing that it was the responsibility of each family member, so the wife who was seriously ill was dismissed. But now it seems that this rule is too impersonal. The wife has worked so hard for this family, and when she is sick, she will leave the family, is this still a human work? So these two criteria are unreasonable. Of course, in today's society, marriage is still relatively free. As long as the parties have negotiated, they can divorce. There is also no such thing as a woman being dismissed by a man.