In the history of traditional Chinese culture, Mencius was revered as "Yasheng". Mencius's mother, Lady Zhǎng, was also a person who was universally revered in history, and she, together with Yue Fei's mother and Xu Shu's mother, was collectively known as China's "Three Virtuous Mothers", and Meng's mother ranked first among the "Three Virtuous Mothers".
Mencius's father, named Meng Ji, went to the Song Dynasty to study in his early years, but unfortunately died early, at this time Meng Ke was only three years old. Since then, in the long years of life, the mother has grown up alone to pull Mencius. The following is the story of Mengzi's mother educating Mencius before his birth, toddler and adulthood.
First, Meng Mu's prenatal education.
There is a story of "buying meat and eating children", which has a story about Meng Mu's prenatal education of her children and how to teach children to develop excellent character of honesty and not cheating.
When Mencius was young, he once happened to catch up with the next door's east neighbor to kill pigs. The child is curious and loves to eat good things, so he asked his mother, "Why did their family kill pigs?" Meng Mu couldn't afford to buy delicious food, and she was worried about her children, so she lied to him and said, "That's so that you can eat pork."
After Meng Mu said it, she immediately regretted it and thought to herself, "When I was pregnant with this child, I was strictly self-cultivation every day. Every time the mat is not laid out correctly, I do not sit down, and every time the meat is cut incorrectly, I do not eat it, such a strict prenatal education, all for my son to take the right path from childhood. Now that he's just getting things right, and I'm trying to deceive him, doesn't that teach the child badly? "
So, she collected all the money that the family did not have, and really went to the neighbor's house to buy meat and make it for the children to eat.
Meng Mu's prenatal education is to lead by example, cultivate the body, and say a word must be honored, never deceive the child.
Second, in order to create a good learning environment, we will not hesitate to move many times.
The story of "Meng Mu's Three Migrations" shows that Meng Mu knows the great influence of the environment on a child, especially for a child like Mengzi, who is intelligent and has a strong desire for knowledge.
When Mencius was a child, he saw what he learned. There was a cemetery near his home, and he followed them to learn the game of kneeling and weeping; at the edge of the market, he learned the game of bowing and bargaining with others. When Meng Mu saw her child like this, she moved again and again. It wasn't until the end, when they moved to a school and saw Meng Ke learning the good habits of keeping order, understanding politeness, and reading with everyone, that Meng Ke stopped.
Third, the metaphorical education of the broken machine is not outdated at any time.
China's enlightenment book "Three Character Classic", starting from the Southern Song Dynasty, has been changed many times, but the story of "Meng Mu Broken Machine" has always ranked first.
Once, Xiao Meng Ke skipped school. Meng Mu clicked, cut the shuttle on the loom, and then taught him sternly: "If the shuttle is broken, the cloth cannot be woven, and the same is true for learning. ”
As the saying goes, "Learning is like sailing against the current, if you don't advance, you will retreat", and it is also said that "a day without practicing hands". Meng Mu's words are undoubtedly the most reasonable words for learning.
Later, when Mencius was fifteen years old, Meng Mu found Confucius's grandson Zi Si as a teacher for Mencius. Since then, Mencius has been studying hard under Zi Simen for five years, and his learning and virtue have advanced by leaps and bounds, and he has finally inherited the mantle of Confucius.
Fourth, Meng Mu's family education on the "way of husband and wife".
There is a story of "Mencius divorcing his wife", which is about Mencius after he grew up and married his wife. Since he had learned some of the sage's teachings, he felt that his knowledge was becoming more and more profound, and he could not look at some of the deeds of his wife at home, and as a result, Meng Mu was fiercely "cut" a meal.
One day, Mencius's wife was alone in the house "sitting", Mencius saw it, and the boss was not happy. ("Sitting" means that the two legs are stretched flat, or crossed, and the person is like a dustpan.) The ancients paid attention to the etiquette of living and sitting, and "sitting" was an indecent sitting posture at that time.
Mencius ran angrily to his mother's house and told her, "My wife is not observing etiquette, so I will leave her!" ”
Meng Mu asked, "Why are you here?"
"Because she's sitting!"
Meng Mu asked again, "How do you know?" ”
"What I have seen with my own eyes, can I still be wrong?"
Meng's mother saw her son use the way of etiquette to "go up to the line" for his wife, decided to "treat his body with the way of others", and also used the way of etiquette to enlighten her son's misconceptions about the relationship between husband and wife.
Meng Mu explained to her son: "In my opinion, it is not that she does not observe etiquette, but that you yourself have not observed the etiquette!"
"The Book of Rites says, 'I will get started and ask who is alive.' It will go to the church, and the voice will be heard. Will enter the house, as it sees, will go down'. In order not to catch the people in the house by surprise and take advantage of the people;
"What about you? A man goes to the bedroom without saying a word and makes your wife defenseless; People don't know you're home, so they spread your legs and sit out, and when you see her sitting, it means that your eyes are not looking down. Let yourself say, who the hell is not being polite? ”
Mencius stood in the room, obediently being disciplined with his head bowed. From then on, he was more strict with himself, more lenient than others, diligent in his practice, and did not dare to mention the matter of divorce anymore.
V. Mengzi's mother, and the evaluation of Mengzi in later generations.
Mencius's mother zhixiao, in order to repay his mother's kindness of parenting and teaching, when he was fifty-five years old and served as a guest secretary in the state of Qi, he returned to his hometown to welcome his mother to the country of Qi, greeting an in the morning and evening, and when his mother was sick, he personally waited for the soup medicine.
The following year, his mother died of illness in the State of Qi, and Mencius was so grief-stricken that he buried his mother in his hometown. At the same time, he carved a stone statue of himself, buried his mother, and guarded the tomb in his hometown for a year.
After the death of Meng Mu, he was buried with Mengzi's father in the foothills of Ma'an Mountain, 25 miles north of Zoucheng, and posterity believed that Mengzi's fame was the work of Meng Mu's three godsons, so the forest land was called "Meng Mu Lin". In The city of Zou, the hometown of Mencius, there are still places dedicated to Mengmu such as the tomb of Mengmu in Ma'anshan and the former residence of Mengzi in Jiancun.
The influence of Meng's mother and godson is quite far-reaching in history. As early as the Western Han Dynasty, Han Bao's "Han Poetry Biography" used stories about Meng Mu to explain the meaning of poetry. In Liu Xiang's "Biography of the Daughters of Lie", the special term "Meng Mu" appeared for the first time. The Eastern Han Dynasty female historian Ban Zhao and the Jin Dynasty's Zuo Gui concubine both wrote "Ode to Meng Mu" (Ban Zhao was the first female historian in Chinese history and ban Gu's sister).
With the widespread circulation of Meng Mu's story, successive emperors have repeatedly crowned him. In the second year of Qianlong (1737), Meng Mu was crowned "Lady Xuanxian of Duanfan of the State of Qi".
And the Ming Dynasty's Du Liao Sen, in the poem "Three Migrations and Godsons", once sang this great mother:
"Who knows Meng Muxian in this ancient age,
Diligently teach the children to move three times.
Raise Moncan as a butcher,
Xue Li Ning teaches playing dou wat.
Once Kung Fu private Shu,
Ten thousand years of Dao Tong guo can be passed on.
It seems that all the saints are from this,
To say that it is not inevitable. ”
bibliography:
"Han Shi Wai Biography" ~ Han Baby (Western Han Dynasty)
Biography of the Daughters of Lie, Liu Xiang (Western Han Dynasty)
Mencius Outer Book ~ Zhao Qi (Eastern Han)