Mom found that her 5-year-old son, Ozawa, was reluctant to go to kindergarten lately because he felt he was too fat and afraid of children's jokes.
In fact, Ozawa is not very fat, but slightly fatter than the average child. The reason why he thinks he is fat is because he has strong self-esteem and has been jokingly said to be fat by others; second, because a naughty child in the kindergarten has given him a nickname "Little Fat Man".
Ozawa didn't like it when people called it that, and he told his teacher about it. The teacher criticized the classmates who nicknamed him and told everyone not to laugh at Ozawa, but occasionally, there were still children who quietly called Ozawa "little fat man".
Later, Ozawa began to dislike himself, and said that he would not eat at night and would lose weight.
His mother comforted him that he was not fat, just a little fat, and did not have to lose weight. In fact, the mother and the teacher have learned, there are few people call Ozawa "little fat man", maybe the child cares too much about it.
One day, her mother took Ozawa to a children's paradise, and Ozawa was a little reluctant. Mom is very confused, usually he likes to go to the park to play, why don't you want to go now?
Ozawa said that I was afraid that others would laugh at me and that I would grow fat.
Mom comforted him, no, don't think about it.
But Ozawa was still reluctant to go, and his mother persuaded him again, so he reluctantly followed his mother out.
At the children's playground, Ozawa squatted alone in the corner of the beach, silently playing with the sand, or in the building block area, he set up his own blocks.
Mom asked him, why don't you find children to play with? Ozawa said he didn't want to go, and maybe others didn't like to play with him because he was too fat.
Mom was both distressed and helpless.
Fat, like a heart disease of Ozawa, he even began to feel inferior to this.
Ozawa because he hated that he was too fat to dare to go to children to play, and even felt that others would dislike him because he was fat, dislike him, obviously, Ozawa because of his defects and thus have inferiority complex.
In fact, many children have a certain inferiority complex. For example, some children hate that they are short, black, and have small eyes. When it comes to topics they dislike, they get nervous and avoid the topic.
The reason why children have inferiority complex is also manifold.
First, the sense of self-attention is relatively strong.
Psychologists believe that before the age of 4, children do not have much "self-attention awareness", they do not have much feeling for their looks, height, etc.
However, when they are older, after the age of 4, children have their own aesthetics, begin to pay attention to these, and begin to have opinions and ideas about their overall image.
When they find themselves imperfect in some way, or are ridiculed by others in some way, they are prone to inferiority complex.
Second, the impact of negative labeling.
Some adults or children like to play pranks or nickname others. For example, some children grow a little fat, they call people "little fat", some children lose their front teeth, they call people "missing teeth sister".
Maybe their intention is just to make a joke, but the children who are labeled negatively are saddled with heavy psychological pressure and feel that they have shortcomings, resulting in "defective" inferiority complex.
Third, it is affected by the surrounding environment.
People are easily affected by the environment, especially children, especially those around them.
When a child's parents feel that it is not good to be fat, the child will also feel that fat is not good; if the mother is worried about the child's short stature, the child will also worry about whether he is tall or not.
Therefore, under the influence of the people around them, the child has a "defective" inferiority complex.
In the process of growing up, everyone has hated a certain defect in their own body, which is actually normal and a manifestation of children's inferiority complex.
Children with inferiority complex are usually not confident enough in some aspect of their abilities, such as Ozawa does not dare to integrate into children, thinking that others do not like him.
Some children also doubt their abilities in other aspects, causing them to be confident in what they do, and even uninterested in many things.
Therefore, when parents find their children's inferiority complex, they must be guided.
How?
Parents can tell their children that it's just a joke.
As the closest person to the child, parents try not to make some bad jokes with the child, such as jokes about the child's fat, joke that the child is short, etc.
If someone does this, the parents please stop them and tell the child that it's just a joke and not really a joke about him.
You can tell the child that the uncle just thinks you are round and cute, like a red panda.
To a certain extent, this can alleviate the child's nervous psychology, thereby reducing their possibility of having inferiority complex.
Parents can tap into their child's strengths and divert their attention.
When children develop defective inferiority complex, they often focus on their own shortcomings, so that they cannot see their advantages in other aspects.
At this time, parents should tap the child's strengths, enlarge the child's advantages, and divert the child's attention.
For example, when a child feels ugly, parents may wish to tell her that her hair is of good quality and that her hair is dark and shiny.
When a child feels short, parents may wish to tell her that she is slim and well-formed.
In short, parents help their children shift their attention and make them look at themselves in many ways, rather than focusing only on their own shortcomings.
In addition, when children dislike their own defects, parents can quietly help their children.
For example, Ozawa hated to be fat, so his mother adjusted the diet at home and made some foods that were both nutritious and calorie-high.
At the same time, she also reduced the frequency of buying high-calorie foods, so that Ozawa ate less often.
She also took Ozawa out to exercise, but never mentioned losing weight, just because exercise makes people happy and exercise makes people healthy.
In the process of growing up, children will inevitably dislike themselves because of their own defects, and even fall into inferiority.
Parents should be aware of their children's emotions in time, when they fall into defective inferiority, please do not laugh at the child, but to guide the child, help them out of the swamp of inferiority, and become cheerful and confident again.