There is a classmate, they have a master's degree, a bachelor's degree, not pampered by children, and his daughter is not squeamish, but just do not write homework, every day always try their best, with teachers, parents to do, other children can write before 8 o'clock homework, she always consumes energy to 12 o'clock.
By the way, this baby is in the third grade this year, are you curious, "double subtraction" can also write about this time period. Yes, people can walk around the table for a few hours, even if her father is staring at the side with a feather duster, he still can't finish his homework normally.
My classmate now talks about his daughter, and the biggest realization is that this is to come to this world to abuse their two sons: if she can realize herself and take the initiative to learn, then naturally she does not have to care, if she does not want to learn, then we can't manage it. Now we don't expect much from our children, it's a simple goal, to go to bed early and be healthy.
He said that he was healthy, not that he was a child, but that the couple spent until 12 o'clock every day, and they were about to have a nervous breakdown.
In fact, this is that in the first grade, they were too indulgent to this child, and in the first grade to the third grade, they did not find the right way to educate the child, and did not implement it. Every method that works is broken by external forces for more or less reasons. As a result, the ability to cultivate children to focus on learning is out of control.
Are they not doing their duty? They have worked very hard, but they have ignored that there are no rules and no circles, and starting from the doll before the age of seven to develop good habits will affect the fate of the doll's life! From the age of seven to fourteen, it is also a good time to cultivate children to concentrate on one thing and do a good job, and it is also a good time to cultivate love. There are still a few years in front of the two of them, and the older child is even less likely to have the ability to focus in the face of subject learning.
The word education must first be nurtured and then taught. First give trust, give support, give enough love, give children enough security, and then teach, teach knowledge, teach methods, teach rules, teach morality.
Every child is like a seed, born with infinite power. We should position ourselves as soils, nourished by nutrients, not gardeners, ready to repair. We should first trust him, believe in his inner strength, follow his interests, ignite, activate, and stimulate his own internal driving power, rather than emphasizing authority and emphasizing what we think of as standards. For children's bad behavior, we should see more of the needs behind the behavior and try to meet their needs, rather than simply and rudely rewarding and punishing to suppress chaos.
Is it the child's ability to learn? No, the classmates' babies, drum kits, pianos, roller skating are all slippery, or they don't learn. I think my classmates are already lying flat. All he can do is to support the soul and explore the child's own strength. Let children find their own inner strength, have ideas, pursuits, and self-confidence, and naturally become a better version of themselves. Based on this, and then doing guidance, is the right way. If parents can guide their children to a path that they like, and they are very happy to sleep and forget about this matter, until they become emotional souls, careers in life, I think the day when their children close their eyes, they are grateful for their parents' cultivation.
After the child makes a mistake, the parents should help him analyze, ask the child questions, and let him think, rather than criticize the child. We Chinese especially like to draw conclusions, encounter children make mistakes, often arbitrarily criticize children for "not what is material", "this can't work that can't work", etc., which will seriously hurt the child's self-esteem and self-confidence. Every child is different, so there is no ready-made best way to educate, more companionship and more attention, more from the child's point of view to think about the problem, control their emotions.
Sum up the experience, examine whether some things that were originally taken for granted are really reasonable, and do not have to suppress themselves to cater to the children, the important thing is to be honest. After the child makes a mistake, if the parent or teacher accuses them and criticizes them too much, the child will not dare to do things. The standards of children are not the same as those of adults, and right and wrong are philosophically relative. In any case, we should be happy that our children make mistakes, because this gives us the opportunity to help them and gives them the opportunity to grow.
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