01
Yesterday, I saw a parent post on the Internet -
"At 2:00 p.m. today, I received a call from my son's homeroom teacher. He didn't call it, and as soon as he opened his mouth, he said that you would come to the school to bring your son back, and then send it over after reading the novel. As soon as I heard him say this, my fire came up, I said I didn't buy him a novel, I paid more than 9,000 in half a year, the child was handed over to your school, what are you going to do, I didn't say you, you asked me to bring the child back like what? ”
As a mother, this mother's idea really makes me feel uncomfortable. Over the years, teachers have also become high-risk occupations, and if they are not careful, they will be complained about by parents, and some even become back cookers for this purpose.
02
Recently, the death of a student of Rizhao Haiqu Senior High School has also attracted the attention of many people. At about 23:10 on April 13, a high school boy was found by the school department playing with his mobile phone and asked him to turn it in, but the child said that he would take the initiative to turn it in tomorrow. After the teacher asked for the child's name, he left, but the child was restless, got up and put on his clothes and said to his classmates: "It's over, I can't go to school tomorrow." Repeating this sentence repeatedly, a dorm student said, "It's okay, the teacher may not remember the last time." ”
It turns out that the child's school has a "red line and yellow line" system, as long as you are caught playing with the mobile phone twice, you will be dissuaded. Because before, there were students who were checked for playing mobile phones twice, and they never came to school again.
At 11:52, the boy was persuaded by the teacher to return to the dormitory because he was afraid of wandering in the hallway of the dormitory. At 2:17, he walked out of the dormitory again to the stairs, and at 2:31 he appeared in the surveillance and fell to his death at 3:23.
After the loss of children, the grief of parents can be understood by us as parents. But his father's remarks on the Internet are chilling.
(1) "He was a sunny, kind big boy." As long as there are children who go to extremes, parents will say that their children are kind, sunny, cheerful, optimistic, and excellent. But why do children who are so sunny in the eyes of parents still go to extremes?
(2) "From 23:55 to 3:23, my son fell down the stairs after wandering in the corridor for more than two hours, is there anyone in your monitoring room, and if anyone is doing what?" Is there a guardian, and if so, what are you doing? Also, your windows are not protected. So much of his hope of surviving is due to your inadequate safety facilities and improper regulation. ”
(3) "At 11:52, because of his fear, he wandered in the hallway of the dormitory, and was persuaded by the teacher to return. After that, the teacher did not pay attention to him, nor did he carry out psychological persuasion and counseling. ”
(4) Children go to school to be educated, all these rules and regulations, are your school unilaterally to constrain, control children, there is no school education policy, educational measures, they are just children, what needs is the teacher's education and guidance! ”
The pain of losing a child is regrettable, but the parents' practice of blaming the school as soon as an accident is indeed a bit inappropriate.
03
The lack of discipline for children on weekdays and throwing the pot to the school as soon as an accident seems to have become the most common logic for many parents. So, from this tragedy, what questions should we, as parents, first reflect on? Xi Xi's mother thinks that the following points are very critical -
(1) Don't use your phone as an artifact to send and encourage your child.
How do kids become addicted to mobile phones? Many parents rack their brains and can't come up with an answer.
When children pestered their parents to play with themselves, parents always excused themselves as too tired or too busy, so that children first looked at the tablet or mobile phone; when the child's homework was procrastinating and he was not interested in learning, parents always told the child "You hurry up to do homework, you want you to study hard, I let you play games for half an hour every day"; when the child wants to share his own bit of the school with his parents, the parents only listen to a sentence and decide that it is not important, so in order to clean up, let the child go to the side to see the mobile phone by himself...
Using mobile phones to send children is the best way for many parents; using increasing mobile phone play time to motivate children to learn is what many parents are best at. Ask yourself, have you been tricked?
Some parents feel that they do not go out to play cards, drink, and go shopping, but play with their children at home, which is what a good father and a good mother look like. But in fact, children play children, parents play parents, this kind of companionship without any intersection, can it be considered companionship?
Before, I saw a father in a variety show, when he played games by himself, the child always wanted him to play with himself, so he felt that the child was very annoyed. Later, he used another mobile phone to send the child away, let the child play with the mobile phone by himself, and he found that the child would always be quiet. So in the words of the child's mother: "The most common picture in our family is that the father is lying on the bed playing with his mobile phone, and the son sitting on the ground playing a game." ”
Is it really that hard to put down your phone to accompany your child?
(2) Principled control of children playing mobile phones.
How often can children play the game? How long can I play each time? Under what circumstances can I play with my phone? Under what circumstances should I never play with my phone? Have you, as a parent, discussed these issues with your children? Do you take these rules as a convention between you and your child?
I know that some parents in life tend to ask about the length of time their children play mobile phones. For example, today's parents are in a good mood, maybe the child plays the mobile phone until eleven o'clock, and the parents will not be angry. But if the parents are in a bad mood, even if it is the time agreed with the child to play with the mobile phone, the parents will scold the child and order the child not to play with the mobile phone.
For the use of children's mobile phones, parents must have principles. Neither indulgence nor disbelief in children. In this regard, Xi Xi's mother suggested that parents can list these terms before buying a mobile phone for their children and supervise their children's implementation.
(3) Set the right example.
Children, in themselves, are a group of people who are not very constrained. Take the matter of playing mobile phones, the current situation of many families is like this -
The child is writing homework in the study, and the father is playing games feverishly on the sofa, sometimes cheering, sometimes angry, sometimes cursing and grinning;
The child writes homework in the living room, and the mother stays by the child's side, called supervision, but in fact, she chases the TV series and brushes the small video;
Children reading on the couch, old people sitting next to each other playing with fun, looking at the information in the family group over and over again...
Can children concentrate on learning in such an environment? Can a child's curiosity about mobile phones not be strong? Can children's dreams of playing games be small?
A good example is the motivation for a child to restrain himself. The subtle influence of family members is crucial for every child.
(4) Cooperate with the school and do a good job of avoiding children's mobile phone or game addiction.
Whether it is elementary school, junior high school, or high school, almost all schools prohibit students from bringing mobile phones into school. Even if there are special circumstances that require you to take your mobile phone to school, you should also hand it over to the class teacher for safekeeping, and you can use it when you need to contact your parents.
However, many parents know that it is good for their children that teachers do not allow their children to bring mobile phones to school, but parents still do not take this matter to heart. Whether the child takes the mobile phone away when he returns to school, parents do not seem to care. The money on the parents' mobile phones, or the cash at home, is not well kept, and the children secretly buy new mobile phones to use, and the parents do not know it.
Parents who refuse to cooperate with the school to control the use of their children's mobile phones are stumbling blocks on the road of their children's lives!
——————
After a child has an accident, it is always easier to shirk responsibility than to take responsibility. I hope that all parents can put the above points in their hearts, and only if we do a good job of guidance and prevention and control in advance will we not breed tragedies.