A boy jumps off a building after being beaten by his mother, what kind of mother will drive the child to death?
On June 25, a 5-year-old boy jumped off a residential area in Changfeng County and was seriously injured.
As can be seen in the live video, the boy stands on the air-conditioned plug-in and clings to the wall, while the mother sticks a stick out the window and bangs the child until the boy jumps from the 5th floor.
Image source: Weibo video screenshot
Later, the police issued a notice saying that the boy hid on the platform outside the anti-theft window because he was afraid of his mother's punishment because he was greedy for play. The mother was worried that the child would fall from the building, so she slapped the child with a stick and persuaded the child to enter the house.
Seeing the word "persuasion", netizens exploded. Is the mother's use of sticks "persuasion" or "threatening"? If it is "exhortation", why is the child so frightened that he even fled his mother at the cost of his life?
If you put it another way, it may make more sense: the boy was scolded by his mother for playfulness, and hid out the window in order to avoid his mother, but the mother did not adhere to it, still out of control and scolded the child, forcing the child to jump from a height.
The most distressing thing about the whole incident is that the boy would rather die than go home to face his mother.
Parents who can't move to pick up the guys and add sticks to their children, it's time to rethink their own approach to education.
01
There is no filial piety under the stick, only psychologically twisted children
According to a UNICEF report, 79.25% of children who have been beaten and yelled at by their guardians during their growing up years have low self-esteem, less than 4% have excellent work in various fields, and the crime rate is as high as 42.59%.
The data clearly shows that parents' stick education cannot give children advice and guidance, and it is even more difficult for children to develop a sound personality.
Image source: TV series "Don't Talk to Strangers"
Psychologist Susan tells such a story in the book "Native Family": Joe grew up under his father's corporal punishment, because in his father's opinion, beatings can make children remember and follow the rules, so he often punches and kicks his children.
Joe's father often said, "The child has to understand the rules of this society so that he doesn't mess around." ”
Just like this father, some parents see hitting and scolding their children as an act for the good of their children, which is conducive to maximizing the interests of their children. However, children who grow up in such an environment often do not become the best of the people as their parents expect.
As an adult, Joe experienced chaotic work and broken relationships, and no matter what he did, it was difficult for him to feel happy, because he lived forever in fear and insecurity, unable to trust anyone.
Image source: TV series "Little Shede"
At the same time, he also developed an inferiority personality, because his father's beatings made him feel that corporal punishment was his own fault, so he developed more and more serious self-loathing, as if everything he did was wrong.
In children who grow up in stick education, such fears and inferiority complexes are common.
Even if the physical abuse ends, the psychological abuse will continue, except that at this time the abuser is no longer the parent, but the child himself.
02
More violence, cloaked in education
Also on June 25, the same tragedy caused by stick education, an 8-year-old student was suspected of being beaten to death by a coach in a case of intentional injury at a martial arts sports club.
Image source: Weibo video screenshot
The boy's parents said that cardiac arrest occurred 20 minutes before the child was taken to the hospital, but the teachers at the martial arts school did not hurry to pose for the photo and keep the certificate in mind, not caring about the child's safety.
Obviously, such training institutions do not have the ability to educate children, lack humanistic care for children, and will only treat children in a simple and crude way, threatening children's physical and mental safety.
There are also some educational institutions for the rehabilitation of adolescents to the Internet addiction, in the name of persuading children, on the one hand to defraud parents of money and trust, on the other hand, to beat, insult and imprison minors.
The common feature of these incidents is that they are violent in the name of discipline.
Image source: unsplash.com
I also saw a news story before, a single father suspected his 12-year-old daughter's early love, thought that his daughter was misbehaving and wanted to teach well, but beat his daughter to death.
People around felt unbelievable when they learned this, because this father is a kind and kind "loving father" in the eyes of everyone, and usually loves children very much.
However, parents who love their children have become murderers of their children, because parents have convinced themselves with the reason of "educating their children" that all acts of harming their children are justified.
In this way, countless violent acts have been cloaked in education and become a lingering shadow in the hearts of children.
03
Parents must also have boundaries in their childcare responsibilities
Do not be an incompetent parent who hits and scolds your child, you must not only have a good heart for your child, but also know the boundaries of discipline.
First of all, parents need to see clearly the personality boundary between themselves and their children.
Simply put, it is to treat the child as an independent individual, and in the process of disciplining the child, do not restrict the child's independent thoughts, expressions and behaviors, and respect the child's rights as an individual, such as safety and life, privacy and dignity.
Salvador, a structuralist family therapist, argues that the blurring of individual boundaries in "overly entangled" families leads to the weakening or even loss of the autonomy of family members.
Many families who believe in stick education have overly entangled family relationships.
Parents have a blurred sense of boundaries, and they will treat their children as their own possessions and feel that they have full authority over their children, including corporal punishment and scolding of children.
Image source: TV series "Dear Love"
Second, parents should grasp the boundaries of the method of disciplining their children.
When many parents raise their children, they will have countless impulses to hit their children. Some parents are able to control their emotions, while others allow emotions to dictate behavior.
For most boys, playfulness is in their nature and often makes their parents "angry to the teeth". However, parents should also pay attention to ways and methods, and cannot be angry and unscrupulous.
Parents should set a good example for their children, and at the same time reason with their children in a seductive manner, guide children to think about the right and wrong of things, stimulate children's self-awareness, and take responsibility for their own actions.
Image source: unsplash.com
The ancients said: "In the beginning of man, nature is good." Sex is similar, Xi is far away. ”
Every child is like a blank piece of paper, and what kind of person the child grows up into reflects the background of family education and the wisdom of parents.
If you want to raise a gentle and pure child, don't be violent against him.
If you want your child to grow up healthy and courageous, respond to your child's expectations in a gentle and powerful way.