The smartest stand-up comedians in the folk

◎ Scratch brother

You let people cheat is stupid, not happy about things that don't go well, together you are now a brainless and unhappy!

When faced with difficulties in repaying large debts, people often manifest themselves in two extremes.

One is to play a weak role in the whole process, whisper, and use all means to demand that the creditor can be preferential in the repayment time and amount, although the effect is not large, but also do their best; the other is to cling to "self-respect" and face, even if the other party runs over with the legal documents served.

I happened to come across such a pair.

The couple showed a very different style from the moment they entered the door. The wife smiled when she saw people, nodded a little cautiously, and the husband ignored the mortals, looking at everyone with a high face, and did not know that he thought that a female thief had been arrested in plain clothes and sent to the police station.

Through the previous "back tune" to know that men work in the system, Xu is thinking that he is a bit of a "social resource", the circle of friends is tall, so the loan investment "business", the result is overestimated their own ability and face, let people cheat the money, lose a bottom, owe a bunch of debts. Most of the worldly interactions are like this, they are friends when they are fine, and accidents are all because of friends. Women are nothing special, the husband does not know when he borrows money, but as a "natural" common debt relationship between husband and wife, he has eaten a lot of melons.

I motioned for the two of them to sit down and talk, and the woman agreed and quickly sat down, showing an extremely cooperative attitude. The men ignored me at all, but were very interested in the various rules and regulations posted on the office wall, and walked around with their hands behind their backs, watching with relish, as if inspecting the work.

The woman was a little embarrassed to see the situation, stood up and walked over from behind a handful of clothes that grabbed the man's shoulders and headed to the sofa, the man was raided, his body was unstable, he jumped all the way upside down on one leg, jumped to the sofa before throwing off the woman, sat down unhappily, crossed his arms in front of his chest, and looked at the ceiling.

Talking to the defaulter is a very routine operation, and it is not uncommon for couples to come at the same time, but this time it is not very routine, because I basically did not interject in the follow-up conversation.

It is not that the two people are sharp-toothed, but that the two mouths are infighting, one after the other, as if talking about each other. The man held up the whole scene with the attitude of "giving you a chance to talk to me today", and the woman was responsible for dismantling the stage the whole time.

Man: "I'm here today to talk to you about my money. ”

Woman: "You're here to pay back the money." You put your hand down! ”

The man sucked his nose down, a look of disdain, but obediently put down his interjected hand. The couple's attitude toward each other is not the same as the attitude they each show to outsiders.

I feel like the conversation will be wonderful.

The man was arrogant: "I am also a first-level leader in the unit, leading several people, if you hadn't pulled me here today, I wouldn't have come at all." I'm busy, do you know how many things I do in a day?! ”

The woman dismantled the stage: "Don't you want to play the score with people here?" What kind of leader are you? Your head leader is a section level, and I can't say what level you are a team leader. Out of elementary school, there are no words to describe cadres of your level. Just like that, because of the broken things that owed money, it was erased. How many mouths does the leader have? Does anyone listen to you? I see you're schizophrenic, leading several of you on your own. ”

I was happy that I had come here to cry and cry a lot, but this style of dialogue had never been seen before.

The man pouted: "What do you know about you?" As far as you, as well as your family, are all confused about the car, if you don't urge me every day to manage people to get the money back, can people run? This project is a fire inspection delayed, and once the review is over, the project is launched, the project is officially running, and the money is back! ”

The woman dismantled the stage: "Are you stupid?" People have rolled up your bags and are still waiting to get on the horse? You ride a donkey, you! Still functioning? Do you call that operation? You call that transit. Do you know where your money went? People have run away from you and you are still looking forward to it. ”

Man: "You don't understand at all, this is an inevitable step, to do the project must first lose money." ”

Woman: "When you talk to the police station, you set this set, I worked hard to report the case, you still talk to the side for the liar, do you look at the eyes of the police?" What about the project, what project? Give you the work of repairing the grave? ”

Man: "What kind of eyes do the police have?" The policeman's eyes were understanding. At first glance, he also understood. ”

Woman: "Yes, the police especially understand, understand why they are so busy every day, just because you are such a fool." ”

The deer in my heart jumped up happily.

The man's eyes widened: "Don't you want to be so vulgar?" You've always been such a vulgar person! ”

The woman dismantled the stage: "Well, you are not vulgar, your fox friends are not vulgar, people take your money to play elegant, where do you play elegant?" Together with the few loan sharks from yesterday who came to your house to give you the ground, that is to oppose your poetry, right? If I hadn't come back and talked to them vulgarly, you would have become a mound of cloth, you know? ”

Man: "I'm talking about things, or you don't come back and make trouble talking very well." ”

Woman: "Yes, this is the first time I've seen someone sit on someone else and talk." ”

The man frowned: "Isn't it a matter of this money to say that you are going to go?" Does the money say there is or not? As far as my Mercedes is concerned, it is more than this little money. One day I sold my life and paid back 500,000 to your family. ”

The woman dismantled the stage: "You are angry, you can't sell yourself to death, how much is your second-hand B200 new car?" They are about to let you drive into a demon zero four demons, suddenly, close your eyes and think that opening a motorcycle, opening your eyes is not as good as a motorcycle. On this car, you can't find a blind man to sell, or I will contact my classmates in tongren hospital to see whose eyes did not save you to hurry up and sell him for 500,000. Mercedes B200, you're in the whole one 200B! ”

At this time, I need to suppress hard to control the five senses.

The man narrowed his eyes: "I told you that you are not endless, I told you that I have a room!" The worst thing is that I sold the house, and I will pay you back! ”

The woman dismantled the stage: "Is it to sell your father's and your mother's homestead or to sell your two limited houses?" All sold it, sold also into, the whole family old and young to drink the wind to go, just open the spring, everyone lose weight. Anyway, your son is not thin, drink a few days of wind to lose a few pounds of fat meat 50 meters running may be able to enter 10 seconds. ”

I was very serious at this point.

The man gritted his teeth: "I tell you that you old ladies and daughters have no long-term vision at all, and every day you know that for that little money, if you can get rich, you will be evil!" ”

The woman dismantled the stage: "Yes, you are too right, I am indeed short-sighted, I have found such a piece of material as you and dare to have a child, I am not a short-sighted thing, I belong to the direct blindness." I also don't have any money, otherwise I will take 500,000 to buy your Mercedes-Benz 200B! ”

The pace is really good, and there's call back.

Man's neck: "I've lost all my face!" I can't live in the community at my unit. I don't have a good time every day! ”

Woman dismantles the stage: "Shame on you? Have you ever had a face? It is just right to let people cheat, it is stupid for you to let people cheat, things that do not go well are just unhappy, together you are now a brainless and unhappy! widely known. ”

This kind of dialogue that can be traced by one smashing and hanging one after another, as well as the feelings of cartoons, I suspect that the closed disciples of the Deyun Society have crossed the post and said that the talk show.

The man stood up: "Did I come today to let you count down?!" ”

The woman stood up: "Did I come today to listen to your bragging?!" ”

The performance ended successfully.