When she learned that Fang Yinuo was pregnant and was still considering whether to have this child, Xie Dan knelt down to Fang Yinuo, and she begged her to give birth to the Xie family's child. Fang Yinuo didn't say anything, just covered his face and ran away. Xie Tianhua lifted up his sister and cried and rubbed her knees.
In this scene, I don't know who to blame and who to hurt.
Xie Dan once asked Xie Tianhua, don't you want a child of your own? Xie Tianhua said he wanted to, of course he wanted to. When Xie Dan and his mother came to fang Yinuo, Xie Tianhua also said something like this: "Like you, I want to leave this child behind." ”
What does it mean to have this child?
Hehe had already experienced a refusal to donate, and Fang Yinuo moved the idea of having another child with Xiao Lu to save Hehe. On the one hand, they made this choice because they didn't know how long it would take to wait for the right match, and on the other hand, they must be afraid that even if they waited again, they would still be refused to donate.
The child's condition cannot afford to wait too long.
It was at this time that Fang Yinuo found out that he was pregnant with Xie Tianhua's child. If she were to give birth to this child, it would mean that she would not be able to save Hehe by having another child for the next year or two. During this period, Hehe's only hope is to passively wait for the match, to put it bluntly, it is resigned to fate.
Although this is not a complete abandonment of Hehe, as a mother, she does not want to miss any opportunity to save her child, one more way will have more glimmer of hope, not to mention, even if all these ways add up, this hope itself is not too big.
In this case, if you want her to be elated as soon as she hears about pregnancy, and to be at ease with raising a child, I think, it is impossible to change any mother. Giving birth to this child means that the hope of another child is much lower, which is a dilemma for the mother.
Many people say that Fang Yinuo is selfish, and she is indeed selfish. But it is normal for her to have such hesitations and entanglements when it comes to having a child. If she decides not to care about another child because she has this child, then I feel that it is against the mother's nature.
What does this child mean to Xie Tianhua?
He He is the child of Fang Yinuo and Xiao Lu. Xie Tianhua liked Fang Yinuo for many years, even if Fang Yinuo was divorced and took the child, he still didn't care, he was willing to marry her, willing to raise Hehe, after Hehe fell ill, he would rather sell the house and treat Hehe. Such a wonderful man should be treated kindly.
It was perfectly normal for him to want a child of his own.
This child was the first child he and Fang Yinuo had, and it was also the only child of xie Tianhua, and it was even more that they Xie family had been looking forward to for a long time.
It wasn't that he didn't know what giving birth to this child meant to Hehe, and he also knew that Fang Yinuo was still hesitating, but he still told his sister the news of Yinuo's pregnancy, because he felt that this would allow Yinuo to leave the child. At this time, he couldn't manage so much anymore, he just didn't want to lose his children.
Is Xie Tianhua at fault? That's right. Not only is it true, but it is very painful. He paid so much for Fang Yinuo and her child, and when it came to his own child, Fang Yinuo was hesitating to do it, how hurtful was this? How unacceptable?
It is precisely because of this that after his sister knelt down to Fang Yinuo, Xie Tianhua walked into Dr. Jin's office and told the fact that Xiao Lu and Fang Yinuo were not really husband and wife. This is a counterattack that this good man is unwilling to fight back for himself after paying a lot. He wanted to save his children too much, and this was also his nature as a father.
Where is the tangle between them?
I have always felt that Xie Tianhua and Fang Yinuo should not get married.
Fang Yinuo did not love Xie Tianhua, she married him, but just to find a good father for her children. This is really the most selfish place for Fang Yinuo.
Xie Tianhua said that he had loved Fang Yinuo for many years, but after so many years, this love had long become an obsession to a large extent. Therefore, he would rather hurt others and hurt himself, regardless of his family's feelings and opposition, and even if he did not hesitate to ruin his family, he would also maintain his marriage with Fang Yinuo.
When Fang Yinuo decided to have another child with Xiao Lu, she proposed to divorce Xie Tianhua, but Xie Tianhua said that he could accept her having another child with Xiao Lu, but he could not divorce her.
When things got to this point, I felt that Xie Tianhua's love for the other party was no longer a great and selfless, but a pathology. In other words, any normal man will definitely not accept his wife and ex-husband to have children and maintain the current marriage.
In fact, if at that time, Xie Tianhua agreed to divorce, then later it would not be so entangled. Of course, this is still unfair to Xie Tianhua. But their marriage was doomed to be unfair from the beginning, and letting go was a stop loss for him.
Xie Tianhua refused to let go, because he thought he could accept everything Fang Yinuo did, including giving birth to a child with her ex-husband. But in fact, his heart could not accept it, and he also felt aggrieved and unwilling. It's just that he wants to show his love for the other party too much, and he can only swallow his grievances and unwillingness.
But once he had his own child, once Fang Yinuo wanted to give up his child, he couldn't swallow this grievance.
He loves Fang Yinuo, loves Hehe, and he is willing to regard Hehe as his own daughter, but when he really has his own child, he loves his own child even more. This is the biggest tangle between them.
The pain point of a second-married family.
This tangled point of theirs is actually the pain point of all second-married families. Of course, I am referring here to second-married families where one or both parties have children.
Every parent loves their children more, which is beyond doubt and beyond reproach. It is human nature.
Here's the problem, you get divorced, you have kids, you start a family again. Your lover may love you very much and be willing to be nice to your children. But what if your child has a conflict of interest with his child?
This is an insurmountable problem, but in daily life, we encounter more than some trivial conflicts, one party has been wronged, and forbearance has passed.
Once you meet a life-and-death choice like Xie Tianhua, do you expect him to give up his children and choose your children?
I am writing this not to discuss who is right and who is wrong, but to tell you that if you are married and have children, you must manage your marriage well, and do not divorce easily until you have to. It's not that you can't find happiness after a divorce, but that such happiness is mixed with too many factors, far more difficult than running your first marriage.
I would also like to say that if you choose a second marriage, you must be based on love, do not feel that the second marriage is just a make-up life, or just want to find a person who is good to your children, you know, he is good to your children, but he is better for his children, if you do not have deep feelings between you, you will not be able to resist the barriers and consumption caused by these conflicts.
In short, in a word, marriage is not easy, second marriage is even more difficult, I hope everyone can learn to cherish.
About the author: Meet and miss, a woman who likes to read and write, focusing on the creation of articles in the emotional field and the analysis and answer of emotional questions, I hope that my words can accompany you warmly forward.