When Xie Tianhua took out the house book and made up his mind to sell the house, Xie Dan said something like this:
"Xie Tianhua, I protect you everywhere, think for you everywhere, in my heart, you are a child, you are my dearest brother, but when you have heard my words, in the end all I get is complaints." You are now married, you are someone else's husband, someone else's father, from now on, your own affairs, you decide, you want to sell it, you can sell it, the big deal is that you live here, live for a lifetime. ”
From these words, you can hear the pain, helplessness, disappointment and dissatisfaction of a sister for her brother. But it also reflects the torn and contradictory side of Shedan's heart. On the one hand, she knew very well that her brother was already an adult and had his own family; on the other hand, she had always stayed in the mentality of her brother or a child, and wanted to protect him.
Frankly, throughout the whole process of watching "Dear Child", I especially disliked Shedan. But after watching the finale, I suddenly felt that in fact, the most pitiful person in the whole play was Xie Dan. Because the happiness or misfortune of others is her own choice, only her happiness is pinned on her brother.
"I'm willing to do anything for my brother."
I have always felt that the emotions that exist in this world except between parents and children should not be at all costs and do not ask for anything in return. Brothers and sisters can have such thoughts before they have their own families, but if you have your own small family and feel that you are willing to do anything for your brother, then where do you put your lover?
So when Xie Dan said in front of her husband, "I am willing to do anything for my brother", I did not feel any emotion, but felt very sad. I seemed to suddenly understand the uncomplaining and regretlessness of those "brother demons", and it turned out that they really lived for their brother.
Whether Xie Dan is a "brother-in-law demon" or not, let's leave it alone, just to say that this heart that protects his brother has already crossed the line. As she herself said, in her heart, her brother is a child, but in fact, Xie Tianhua is already an adult in his thirties, and it is wrong for you to use the heart of a 3-year-old child to make decisions for a man in his 30s.
Therefore, we also see that Shedan has been interfering in his brother's marriage and family, but not once has he been able to succeed, and the result is, as she said, "all she gets is complaints." Why? Because this brother she wanted to listen to her was long past the age of listening to her sister everywhere, he had the right and qualification to decide his own life.
Adult brothers should have their own lives, and sisters should also focus more on running their own marriage and family, which is the right state. If the sister has always regarded her brother as a child who has no responsibility and wants to carry his life, the result will inevitably be to lose her own life, which is irresponsible for herself and her small family.
And for the younger brother, it is not necessarily a good thing.
The younger brother of an "honest man".
When I was talking to my friends about Xie Dan, I heard such a voice: "Fortunately, there is a sister like Xie Dan who can protect her brother, otherwise Xie Tianhua, an honest person, must not be bullied to death." ”
In the eyes of this friend, the reason why Xie Dan lost his bounds to make decisions for his brother was because his brother was too honest and easy to be bullied.
Xie Tianhua is an honest man, this is a fact. But the life of an honest person also needs to be responsible for himself. The sister can protect him once or twice, but if you want to protect him everywhere and protect him for a lifetime, then the sister's life will not be enough?
A person, only if he has experienced some things himself and understood himself, can he know how to do a good job, and if he relies on his sister's protection every time, he will never grow up. This is actually the same reason as those "mommy boys".
I don't know if you noticed that there is such a detail in the play, Xie Tianhua's neighbor always takes the capers to exchange for his big fish and meat, and after the sister knows, she scares this neighbor, which makes us feel very relieved and more recognized the behavior of this sister.
But have you ever wondered how your sister knew that her neighbors always bullied Xie Tianhua? If Xie Tianhua didn't say it himself, his sister wouldn't know. Why did he tell his sister? Because in his heart, he wanted his sister to help him solve this matter. However, when his sister really did this, he felt that his sister was stingy and should not be like this.
This detail, which seems to have nothing to do with the main line of the plot, actually shows that the reason why Xie Tianhua became an "honest person" is because he has always had the protection of his sister since he was a child, and he is used to this way. In other words, that is to say, it was Xie Dan's strong protection that deprived him of the opportunity to grow, which made him such an "honest person".
She has not let go, he has not grown up, so the two brothers and sisters will always fall into this cycle, she solves the problem for him, and then blamed, the next time is still worried that he can not handle it well, still solve for him, still complain.
Don't you think that such a Xie Dan is really quite pitiful?
Shedan's ending.
The big ending of this drama is very beautiful. He he was saved, Fang Yinuo and Xiao Lu reconciled, and the two families loved a child together, happy and happy.
But we all seem to have forgotten to care about Shedan's ending, or rather, we all feel that Shedan doesn't need an ending, because she hasn't changed and has always been the same.
It was also this feeling that made me suddenly feel pity for her, she had been an "evil person" for so long, interfering with her brother, fighting against her sister-in-law, and in the end, everyone was happy, only she did not change anything.
Of course, for her, her brother's happiness is her happiness, but what about her own life? It can be expected that in the many days to come, she will continue to protect her brother as always, treating him as a child. Many of us are celebrating the greatness of this sister, but ignoring that she should manage her own happiness.
When I was a child, I grew up in the countryside in the north, and I saw that many girls were indoctrinated with the concept of "the eldest sister is like a mother", and when they grew up, they had their own families, and still regarded their brother's life as their responsibility, thus running their marriages to pieces.
Because behind this, in fact, there is not much benefit to anyone. The sister needs to live a life, the younger brother needs to grow, and "the eldest sister is like a mother" should be a kind of blood affection, not a shackle that never lets go.
I also heard a friend say, "A sister like Shedan is right, who wants his brother to marry a divorced woman with children?" "At that time, I was thinking, if Xie Dan had a big sister, would she be willing to marry her brother?
What do I mean by this? I just think that a sister, no matter how much she loves her brother, after her brother has a small family, she should establish a sense of boundaries, don't think about making decisions for him like when she was a child, and she shouldn't carry his life to live.
I would prefer that as sisters, we should also realize the importance of our small family, rather than thinking that it is enough to think about our younger brother alone.
Don't forget that everyone should have their own life.
About the author: Meet and miss, a woman who likes to read and write, focusing on the creation of articles in the emotional field and the analysis and answer of emotional questions, I hope that my words can accompany you warmly forward.