The Five Languages of Love – How to Say It, Children Will Listen?

We all love our children, but sometimes the way we express love is not the right way. Either very accommodating, or very strict, learn these five love languages, let us love children seriously and gently!

01. Words of affirmation

As the saying goes, "a good word is warm in three winters, and a bad word hurts people in June." ”

It can be seen that words of affirmation are very important, and may often lead to the life of a child, and even affect their future performance and achievements.

In the process of children's growth, parents should learn to often praise their children for doing good things, and minimize criticism of their children's failures, so as not to make children lose self-confidence.

Because kindness, praise and encouragement, and all words of positive guidance will soak the child's heart like rain and nourish the child to develop the right values.

Of course, words of affirmation or praise should not be spoken casually, but should be expressed attentively and in moderation, instantly, and in a targeted manner, praising the specific behavior and characteristics of the child. Excessive encouragement and false praise will reduce the child's resistance to frustration.

02. Quality companionship time

Gilbert, a harvard psychology professor, said: "Ten years from now, you won't regret doing one less project, but you'll regret not spending an extra hour with your child." ”

Quality companionship time is high-quality companionship time, which requires parents to do time guarantees, love and emotional investment. In the process of accompanying children, parents should always pay attention to their children positively and positively, devote themselves wholeheartedly, show a good side to their children, create a good family atmosphere, and let children feel the love of their parents. For example —

Put down the mobile phone and accompany the child to read picture books;

Get out of the house and accompany your kids for a weekend picnic;

Get close to nature, accompany children to find all kinds of fun in nature; (the most important thing is to devote yourself to it and have no distractions)

......

Companionship is not an end, but a means, because in the quality of companionship time, children can learn certain life skills from their parents, such as skills for dealing with others, how to communicate with others, observe others and control emotions, which is extremely important for children's future development.

03. Accept gifts

The third language of love is "gifts," and giving and receiving gifts is the best way to express love, and gifts are not materialized, but visualized.

Parents need to observe and understand the child in daily life, know the child's preferences, on this basis, carefully prepare the child's favorite gift, may be a coloring book, may be a toy car, on a specific day or time to send to the child, such as when changing teeth, can be independently dressed, etc., the child must be able to feel the love of the parents.

When a child gives a gift to his parents, it may be a childlike painting, and parents also need to cherish it, not only because it is an expression of the child's love, but more importantly, parents should guide their children to develop a sense of respect for other people's gifts, so as to cultivate the child's kind and considerate qualities.

04. Physical contact

Physical contact is a subtle form of human emotional communication and a powerful tool for the expression of love. For children, physical contact such as hugging and touching is their main expression of love.

Studies have shown that children who are often held, hugged and kissed are more likely to have a sound emotional life than children who are long-term on the side and lack of contact.

05. Actions of the Service

It has been said, "The act of service should never be forced, but should be freely given and received, and done as requested." ”

In the process of raising children, parents often out of the motivation of "good for the child", help the child to complete many things, and ignore the child's wishes and needs. In fact, unneeded love is a burden and a pressure, but it will be counterproductive, resulting in tension in parent-child relationship.

Therefore, when parents want to provide services to their children, they must first distinguish whether the children need to, consider the problem from the child's position, put themselves in the child's shoes, and then carry out the next action. Because if the child does not invite you, it is not love, it is interference.

The ability to love needs to be learned, and the language of love must be expressed correctly.

A simple language of encouragement can express identity and make children feel safe and connected; quality companionship time can allow children to get the companionship of parents who are sincerely engaged and undistracted; gifts are parents' rewards, expressions of love, and transmission of hearts; physical contact can help parents and children establish a close parent-child relationship; the act of service makes children feel loved and respected.

Have you learned?

END

The above content is excerpted from the Yijie online class "Five Languages of Love - How to Say, Children Will Listen" and the book "Five Languages of Love", wonderful not to be missed, come to Yijie live broadcast room to participate in learning! Let's be better parents!

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Author: Yijie Shen Simin

Editor: Yijie Shen Simin

Review: Yijie Li Junjie

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