Junior Theaters today recommended a newly released animated film by Disney's "pro-son" - Pixar, "The Metamorphosis of Youth". Its director is Shi Zhiyu, a Chinese girl who won the Academy Award.
Douban scored 8.2 points, MTC (American film review website) as high as 84 points, and many media praised it as the current "best movie of 2022".
Douban score
MTC rating
The film tells the story of a 13-year-old Asian girl who is in adolescence and awakens to her family's unique abilities:
When she is faced with extreme emotions such as anger, shame, and longing, she transforms into a giant red red panda.
The English name of this cartoon is: Turning Red – Turn red.
The "red panda" is undoubtedly a wonderful metaphor for the hormones of adolescence.
This is also a manifestation of the protagonist Meimei's exploration of herself and her resistance to repression. It represents a unique idea, the ability to be untethered, and the side that is not accepted by the general public.
The whole film revolves around The growth and transformation of Meimei in adolescence and the emotional relationship between her and her mother.
It is very suitable for children who have not yet entered puberty to perceive and understand in advance, learn how to recognize and embrace themselves, and how we as parents should adjust our mentality.
Don't use the banner of "good for your children"
Control your child
"I'm all for your own good" is something each of us has heard our parents say. It is undeniable that no matter how controlling parents are, their starting point is indeed "good for their children". I believe that in adolescence, we have all done such things as secretly reading romance novels in the bed. The first moment of being discovered by parents is absolutely embarrassing, shameful, and self-conscious.
But in fact, the little girl's fantasy about the opposite sex is normal for adolescence.
Without permission, my mother went through Meimei's diary. After seeing the graffiti drawn by Mimi who has a crush on the opposite sex, she directly crosses the communication with her daughter and takes Mimi to the store where the boy works with one foot on the accelerator.
Her mother publicly accused Devon of spoiling the "simple and sweet" beauty, and also threw the graffiti of the beautiful painting on the table, causing everyone to watch.
After the mother dealt a devastating blow to her child's self-esteem, she exclaimed, "Fortunately I'm here."
It is because of this emotional conflict as a fuse that Meimei wakes up to find herself transformed into a huge red red panda. At first, Meimei could not accept the fact that she had become a red panda, and she was emotional.
Worried that she would not fit in, the mother secretly followed her to the school and hid under the tree outside the classroom to monitor her daughter's every move.
He didn't leave until he was evicted by the security guards. In daily life, parents provide care in every detail: afraid of falling, afraid of touching, afraid of wearing less clothes, afraid of eating, afraid of being bullied outside; when they grow up, help fill in volunteers, find jobs, find houses...
But the "unreserved" love of parents can also make many children lose themselves in real life. Even if they have physically met the conditions of adults, psychologically, they still retain the thoughts and thoughts of children, and they have never been independent in behavior.
The educator Makarenko said:
"Everything is given to the child, everything is sacrificed for him, even at the expense of his own happiness." This is the most terrible gift a parent can give to a child. ”
Stop controlling your child under the name of "I'm all for the good of my child" and "I can still hurt him." Love gives too much, and eventually it will become a burden on the child. This kidnapping, "in the name of love," will devour children with love.
The first meaning of parent-child relationship: mutual respect
The famous British psychologist Sylvia said:
"Almost all love in this world has aggregation as its ultimate purpose, and only one kind of love has the purpose of separation, and that is the mother's love for her child."
The really successful love of a mother is to separate the child from your life as an independent individual as soon as possible. Maintaining an appropriate distance from the child and maintaining independence from the child is the true love for the child. In the movie, when the TV showed Meimei's favorite band, because of her mother's disapproval, she could only say that there were classmates in the class who liked it;
And his best friend is in his mother's eyes: "A weird girl, sooner or later it will bring you bad";
After Meimei turned into a panda, her friends came to visit her, and she did not even dare to admit to her mother the existence of this group of good friends;
And when Meimei confesses that this is her favorite idol boy band, in her mother's eyes, they are still a group of "twisted hooligans";
She forbade her daughter to attend concerts and could only participate in math clubs; she couldn't go out and play and had to come back to help take care of the ancestral hall...
And Meimei also habitually accepted her parents' arrangement, because she never said "no" to her mother. She never treated her children as independent individuals, and wishfully expressed her maternal love.
Parents form their own value judgments based on their own life experience accumulated over the years and impose them on their children. They are passionate about making decisions for their children and taking care of their children's future. Nor have they ever treated their children as independent individuals, and have only been willing to vent their maternal love.
In the movie, it is her good friends who make Meimei change from a red panda back to a normal person, not the loving mother. This is ironic, but it is also inevitable. Because this seemingly harmonious mother-daughter relationship is actually the result of the checks and balances between the absolutely strong mother and the daughter who suppresses herself.
In the choice of children's friends or hobbies, we should all fully believe in the child's ability to distinguish and choose. We can convey the right way of making friends and moral concepts, but we should not arbitrarily evaluate and make decisions for him.
Interfering with children's social interactions and asking children not to play with people who are not learning well is undoubtedly suffocating for children.
The child's life has its own trajectory, what he should bear, what he should experience, and he should have a complete experience. What we have to do is to give them the ability to walk independently. And the basis of all this: mutual respect.
Learn to let go
Instead of giving up
This freedom is not indulgence, but a moderate letting go. Writer Hotin Carter Jr. said:
"We want two permanent inheritances to bequeathed to our children: one is the root and the other is the wing."
"Root" is to let children have the quality rooted in the heart; "wings" means that parents and children maintain boundaries, let go at the right time, and let children spread their wings and soar alone.
The phenomenon of transforming into a red panda is a curse passed down from generation to generation by the Meimei family. However, as long as the next Red Moon Night is combined with the ceremony to reseal the soul of the red panda, everything will be fine again. After all, every generation of women in the family has come this way.
But at the end of the movie, although the mother still holds her daughter's expectation of completing the full moon ceremony at the end, she still lets Meimei make her own choice - whether to let the red panda continue to exist in the body
Meimei finally accepted her own red panda soul and refused the seal. She chose to coexist with her "unruly" side, because this is her true self.
Meimei not only gained freedom with her own determination and self-confidence, but also realized the mutual redemption between the two generations.
We need to give our children full freedom, but also let them know the principles and bottom lines of their actions and the consequences of violating them.
Help when in difficulty, work together equally when advised, adhere to principles gently, and execute results with joy.
Through our picture frame for the child and our adherence to principles and commitments, the child learns to manage himself and constantly establish a good relationship of trust with the child.
The process of adolescent children leaving their original families and entering society is a difficult road for both children and parents to go through, and it is also a necessary step for healthy personal growth.
Give the child freedom and accompany him on an "adventure"...
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Editor/Chen Xudong Photo/Network Synthesis
Text Director / Juvenile Jun Production / Juvenile Family Guoxin