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Vanity Fair: "Of all the immoral acts that degrade the personality, selfishness is the most hateful and shameful." ”
Selfish people harm others and harm themselves. Perhaps in a short period of time, selfish people will not harm themselves, but after a long time, they will inevitably suffer their own consequences.
There is "cause and effect" in this: a person is becoming more and more selfish, which is equivalent to making mistakes again and again, it is difficult to integrate into the normal group society, more people have offended, they will be isolated, and when there is no way to go to heaven and no door to the earth, it is the moment when they will eat their own consequences.
For example, some mothers-in-law, not only the daughter-in-law hates her selfishness, but her own children, relatives, friends, neighbors, and other people who know her hate her selfishness. If she is wrong again and again, it is easy to be isolated before the arrival of her later life and end up with a bleak end.
The following reader's mother-in-law belongs to such a person, let's take a look at what happened between them.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
Although I knew before I got married that my mother-in-law was selfish and my reputation in the local area was not very good, because I had a good relationship with my husband, I tried my best to think of the benefits and felt that my mother-in-law should not be too bad.
Besides, I don't think we live with my mother-in-law after marriage, whether she is selfish or not has nothing to do with me, and I can't afford to miss a good marriage because of her existence.
And after marriage, it turned out that I was too naïve, and I thought the problem was too simple.
She was not only selfish in the eyes of outsiders, but also a selfish person in the eyes of her family. My husband didn't feel deeply before because she was counting on raising children to prevent old age and being slightly nicer to him. But for the rest of the family, there is no kindness to speak of.
If I'm not mistaken, my father-in-law divorced her because he was fed up with her selfishness.
After being counted by her several times in a row after marriage, I did not dare to contact her again, and always avoided her. However, hiding all the time is not the way, there will always be a time to meet.
After the sister-in-law gave birth to a child, she was unwilling to serve her daughter in confinement, and even asked me to serve the sister-in-law to confinement. Seeing that I had not answered her phone, one day she took her sister-in-law's phone to me, and as soon as the phone was connected, she broke out and scolded: "Are you dead?" I resigned before I died to serve my daughter confinement! ”
If I had spoken to her well, she would have been unforgiving. In desperation, I had to lie: "I am not dead, but I have long been divorced!" ”
After hanging up the phone, I hurriedly called my husband, explained the situation to him, and asked him to keep the same tone as me: "From now on, we will pretend to be divorced in front of her, otherwise she will pestering me." Mainly you, can't say that you have slipped up, otherwise she will turn to you to put pressure on me. ”
If he didn't do what I asked, I might actually divorce him, because I married him to share the selfish mother-in-law, because marrying him made my life difficult, and if even he didn't protect me, I wouldn't have to stay in my in-laws' house.
Fortunately, he was not confused, and he was also fed up with his mother-in-law's selfishness after marriage, so we unanimously said that we had divorced, and my mother-in-law could not do anything with me.
It's just that doing so is bitter for the sister-in-law. The mother-in-law was unwilling to serve her confinement, knowing that the sister-in-law's husband was a single parent, knowing that the sister-in-law's mother-in-law had died a long time ago, and she also turned over and said: "You are now a member of your in-laws' family, how can you let me serve you for confinement?" Waiting for your daughter-in-law to confinement is your mother-in-law's business, and it has nothing to do with me! ”
It was as if she had served me confinement, and it was not shameful!
I did not embarrass my sister-in-law, although I did not go to serve her confinement, but I often visited her and asked her to call me in time when she needed help.
When I explained to her what my mother-in-law had done, she sighed repeatedly: "I don't know what sins I have created in my previous life, but I let me share such a mother, how selfish and selfish!" At the beginning, my father could not stand her selfishness, so he went to divorce her. Originally, my father wanted to take me and my brother away, but she would not let me take it away, saying that the child would have a good life by following his mother. But the result? What kind of life am I living now? ”
I think that my sister-in-law hates her to the heart, and it is impossible to have much close contact with her in the future; my husband's opinion of her is also very large, and my opinion of her is even greater. These days the angry facts are in front of her, why does she turn a blind eye? Aren't you afraid that you will have nothing to rely on?
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
Selfish people have one distinct trait: being self-centered.
Self-centered means enclosing oneself in a periphery world that is "not tolerated by the world", regardless of how one should behave in the worldly world.
This seems to be a very high realm, but it is actually very stupid, because they just think that they are different from ordinary people, that they are superior to others, and that they can be free from the rules of the secular world. The truth is that they are members of the secular world and cannot live out of this world.
In other words, the standards of conduct they flaunt are contradictory, and they must clearly abide by the rules, but they deliberately do not obey them, so that they will develop in the direction of "rebellion and separation", and sooner or later they will really be intolerable to the world.
For example, the reader's mother-in-law, she treats her daughter selfishly, her son selfishly, her husband selfish, her daughter-in-law selfish, and everyone around her selfish, what is the use of her being crazy? How many more years can she run wild?
The people who were familiar with the environment had been offended by her, and she could not run to a strange environment to start over, so when she wanted to spend her old age in a familiar environment, it was difficult to get what she wanted, and at that time, her retribution would come uninvited.
Hopefully, others will learn a lesson and not allow yourself to live as a selfish person, otherwise you will be swallowed up by selfishness and then ruin your life because of selfishness. At the same time, if you can stay away from selfish people, stay away; if you can't get farther away, draw a line and don't let selfish people break into your world and cause destruction.