This article is original by Tuanzi Ma parenting, welcome personal comments and sharing
Do mothers have such an experience: when eating, the baby is not watched, so there is often such a scene at home: when eating, the in-laws do not help to hold the child, they eat first; and the mother is holding the child while eating, and even sometimes eat late, the meal is already cold.
So when the two things of taking the child and eating meet, the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law are embarrassed, who holds the baby first, and who goes to eat first?
A daughter-in-law and a daughter-in-law, on the issue of taking the baby to dinner, the treatment is very different
Xiao Qiu's mother-in-law belongs to the kind of "hard work and resentment" personality, never interferes with Xiao Qiu's life, and after Xiao Qiu has a child, she comes to help take the child and let Xiao Qiu and his wife work with peace of mind.
Xiao Qiu usually leaves work late, and it takes 6 o'clock to leave work, usually the mother-in-law prepares dinner and waits until Xiao Qiu comes home to eat. Xiao Qiu felt that the old man could not be hungry, so he asked his mother-in-law to eat first, but her mother-in-law said every time: You work hard, come back to eat first, and rest well after eating.
Xiao Qiu is the first person to eat every time she comes home, and Xiao Qiu is also grateful to her mother-in-law, and she will eat faster when eating, so that she can take the child from her mother-in-law's hand.
However, Xiao Qiu's eldest sister-in-law did not have such treatment. There are two boys in the family, after returning home from work, they still have to cook, the mother-in-law never does housework, and when eating, she never says that she wants her daughter-in-law to eat first, but eats by herself.
Wait until the eldest sister-in-law takes care of the two children and eats by herself, at this time the meal has long been cold, and there are still some soups and soups left...
In fact, many families have encountered such contradictions, adults want to take children, eating need to take turns to eat, and it is not necessarily just the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law who eats first, may also include husbands, mothers and other family members, and even because of who eats first and conflicts.
In fact, who eats first and who will bring the baby can be determined according to different needs
Look at your baby's needs
When eating, who will take the baby is actually not a very necessary question. If the baby happens to be sleeping when eating, then everyone can naturally eat together;
If the baby still needs to eat breast milk at this stage, then the mother naturally cannot leave and can wait for a while to eat; or because of some other reason, the baby needs the care of the mother, then the mother will not be hurt to eat again after a while.
Look at the needs of adults
In addition, in addition to looking at the needs of the baby, the needs of adults must also be taken into account. Some mothers have a bad stomach, can't be hungry for too long, or can't eat raw and cold food, then you can eat first;
And some old people have bad teeth and can't eat hot, so it is a good idea to eat later.
Keep your baby around while eating
Of course, when eating, you can also let the baby be around, like a cradle, a rocking chair, or simply a one-handed horizontal hug, so that you can take care of the baby when eating, you can also set up a small table next to the baby's bed, eat next to the baby.
For the question of "who eats first, who will bring the baby", we must think from another angle
First of all, the child is her own, and the mother naturally has to pay more
Mothers should be clear: the child is her own, so it is normal for the mother to pay a little more attention to the care of the child. Many mothers do not have the help of their in-laws and can take care of their children independently, so in the matter of the elderly helping to take the baby, they must correct their consciousness.
Taking care of children is not a matter for in-laws, but for parents. Now that you have become a parent, you should maturely take on your responsibilities.
Second, find a way to solve it
In the face of the problem of eating children and adults, there are many ways to solve them, you can settle the child before the meal, such as feeding the child in advance, or putting the child to sleep.
If the child wakes up during the meal and is not taken care of, you can also set aside your own share of the meal in advance and eat it after the child is pacified.
Finally, communicate in a timely manner
The most important thing for a family is to have good communication, do not fight "belly lawsuits", what to say, whether everything is reasonable or unreasonable, we must try to communicate first.
Many daughters-in-law do not have a sense of substitution in the mother-in-law's home, which is not comfortable, so it is more necessary to express their own demands directly and learn to express their demands euphemistically.
In short, Tuanzi's mother is almost never seen the mother who eats while holding the child, generally before we adults eat, we will arrange the child well, when we eat out, it is also the father to take care of, and she has always been the one who is asked to eat well.
Tuanzi Mama wants to say:
In fact, there is no special order for the matter of "who eats first, who sees the children first". The most important thing is that everyone discusses well, everyone puts forward their own ideas, everyone coordinates, and there is no disagreement that everyone guesses each other.
Don't all rush to eat, don't let you eat, good communication is the best for everyone.