If we can control a man, then we will get the following good:
For example, the other party will not be confused with other people of the opposite sex, for example, the other party will take the initiative to report no matter what they do, and there is no need for us to suffer at all, for example, the other party will willingly pay for us.
However, not all women are able to enjoy such a good blessing in a relationship that they simply can't control their men.
Psychological research shows that a woman can't control men, usually for 4 reasons, how many of you hit?
Too soft-hearted, always forgiving each other
Zhang Xiaofan in the TV series "Rules Before Divorce" could not control Li Xin at the beginning, and the other party spent all day drinking, but he was angry but there was no way at all.
In fact, when Li Xin made a mistake for the first time, Zhang Xiaofan's attitude should be tough.
However, as long as the other party cries and drools in pain, he will be soft and forgive.
So there was a situation where Li Xin said that he would change every time he said that he would change, but every time he still knowingly committed it.
It was just that Zhang Xiaofan was bitter, and he wanted to live a life wholeheartedly, but he ended up with a heartbroken end.
10% of all the misfortunes we experience in life are made up of what happens to us, while the other 90% are determined by how we react to what happens.
Soft-heartedness is a good thing, but sometimes it can also become our weakness.
Therefore, sometimes the heart is harder, the attitude is tougher, but it can improve their deterrence.
Lower your own bottom line step by step
The first time a man plays ambiguous with another member of the opposite sex is discovered by a woman, which should have touched the moral bottom line, but women feel that which man does not make mistakes, why not give him a chance?
As a result, men feel that even if women are angry, they will not do anything, so if so, can they continue to challenge some stimulation?
In the end, the man betrays the woman, the woman is very sad, she does not understand that she has been so tolerant of men, why the other party still does not know how to cherish, so disrespectful to themselves.
In fact, a lot of respect is based on the bottom line that we embody.
We show our bottom line, show our attitude, and the other party will naturally converge.
But if we accommodate each other again and again and lower our bottom line, it will only make the other party feel that we are easy to grasp, and we will not take us to heart.
As Milan Kundera put it: "The first betrayal irreparably provokes more betrayals, just as a chain reaction again and again takes us farther and farther away from the original betrayal." ”
Step by step, we will not use the Huairou policy
In the TV series "Do You Know It or Not", Kang Da's wife, her father deserves to enjoy the Taimiao Temple, but her marriage is a mess.
The husband did not do the right thing, only knew about concubines, and never refused to go to the house of Lady Kangda.
It was not that Lady Kang had not managed it, but that it had not worked at all.
Because Mrs. Kang da would only scold her husband, saying that he had no ability, but only had a position with his father's light, and without himself, her husband was nothing.
I would like to ask which man with strong self-esteem can always endure the depreciation and insults of his other half, even if he really knows that he is wrong, under such an attitude, he still does not want to pay attention.
Everyone has a rebellious mentality, do not want others to point fingers at themselves, even if it is the other half, the more tough the attitude, the more it will be counterproductive.
Therefore, smart women will not be so tight-paced, but adopt a soft policy.
First put the problem on the surface, talk to each other calmly, explain the stakes clearly, and then give the other party time to digest.
Only in this way can a man be obedient.
In the early stage, there has been a high proportion of pay, and men have no fear
What is not obtained is always in turmoil, and those who are favored have no fear, and this lyric sings the current situation of many people's feelings.
When we are very sure that a person will not leave themselves, or have been completely manipulated by themselves, then we will feel that the other party will not leave us anyway, so why should we spend time and energy to operate?
It is better to ignore it, just care about your own happiness and happiness, and only care about your own feelings.
And when we don't understand whether a person will leave us in the end, we will suffer from gains and losses, and we will want to do something to support our inner thoughts.
The reason why the first situation occurs is that women have always paid a high proportion of a relationship, so that men feel that they have completely grasped women.
As emotion expert Zuo Yan said: "When a woman becomes more and more enthusiastic about men, men become more and more indifferent to women, this is because men feel that women have no challenges for themselves, so they will be like this." ”
It is not established that paying can be rewarded in love, and sometimes, being too good for a person is unable to control the root of the other party.