Li Xin in the TV series "Rules Before Divorce" is a playboy, before getting married, the girlfriend basically changed one for several days, and there was no single-minded emotional thought at all.
Later, his parents felt that Li Xin could no longer be so mixed, he needed to get married to have someone to manage him, and the simple Zhang Xiaofan was the best candidate.
At that time, Zhang Xiaofan naively felt that he would be that exception, and his appearance would make Li Xin accept his heart, and would make him change from evil to righteousness and become a good husband.
But where are there so many exceptions in this world?
The so-called country is easy to change, the nature is difficult to move, how can a person who has been like a day for more than ten years change his habits in a short period of time?
Therefore, after marriage, Li Xin is still not single-minded, and Zhang Xiaofan has seen it several times.
Every time he was discovered, Li Xin repented, saying that he would definitely change and begged Zhang Xiaofan to give him a chance, and Zhang Xiaofan would be soft and forgive every time.
However, after forgiveness, Li Xin would be difficult to change in nature within a few days, hurting Zhang Xiaofan's heart again and again.
We always say that we should not be too preoccupied with people, and when dealing with feelings, we should not be aggressive and unreasonable, but in fact, some things we are not more real, and it is ourselves that hurt.
In the relationship between the sexes, please remember such a truth, that is, the man hurt you, remember not to forgive easily, otherwise it is easy to regret for a lifetime.
Broken window effect: Bad things will become more intense if they are not stopped in time
There is a broken window effect in psychology, which refers to some bad things that are not curbed in time, then in the individual's heart, it will feel that such things are acquiesced.
Then, in this case, the bad things will become more and more intense.
The best way to deal with it is to take measures in time when there is a bad sign for the first time, so as to avoid unnecessary tragedies.
In love, we do not prevent people from making mistakes, but give each other a chance to make mistakes, but there are also and only once.
Bo Bonnie once said, "Kindness is precious, but if kindness does not grow teeth, it is weakness." ”
There's nothing wrong with being kind, but it can't be without a bottom line.
Because of the bottomless kindness, in the end, the other party is unscrupulous, and it is only us who hurt ourselves.
Inclusion can be there, but it must be based on principles and bottom lines
Some people can't deal with feelings, feel that loving someone should be tolerant, no matter what they do, don't get angry.
In fact, such people are ignorant, they do not know that principle and kindness are two different things, and cannot be confused, otherwise it will bring bad results.
So, Socrates said, "The ignorant are not qualified to do good." ”
Because ignorant goodness has only the cloak of goodness, it does not have the kernel of goodness to support it.
Know that everything needs a stable foundation to operate, and the same is true for tolerance or kindness.
Just imagine, when we are young, we will lie because we don't understand things, and the method adopted by parents at this time is often education and sticks.
After a set of processes, we know the stakes, and the next time we have the idea of lying, we will carefully weigh and weigh, and dare not rush to act.
That's because we know what the principles of parents are, and we know that bad things will happen if we violate the principles, so we dare not test the bottom line of the other party.
The same is true in gender relations.
Yes, men and women need to be tolerant when they get along, not to be aggressive, and not to be unforgiving because of a small matter.
However, this does not mean that we must forgive and tolerate all things, regardless of principles and bottom lines.
If goodness loses its measure, it may not only promote evil, but also harm oneself.
Therefore, we must let our kindness grow teeth, and we must also let our tolerance have a bottom line.
At all times, respect for your feelings is the first priority
In the TV series "The Biography of Zhen Huan", Zhen Huan liked the emperor very much when she first entered the palace, and regarded her as her husband.
But when she knew that the emperor was just using herself as a stand-in, she understood that her love and time in recent years had been wrongly paid.
After that, she would no longer love the emperor as she had in the beginning.
Some things, once missed, are missed;
Some people, once they have hurt their hearts, easily forgive themselves to be sorry for themselves.
We come into this world to feel good love.
Although there are stumbles, they do not bring substantial harm.
If a person knows that what he does will make us unhappy, but he still wants to do it, then his practice is not a mistake, but a choice.
People always have to bear a series of consequences for their own choices.
So, let's not pin our hopes on people who don't deserve it, we need to pay more attention to our feelings, which is what we should do.