When children are emotional, choosing the appropriate parenting method can benefit the child's life, and parents must see
The main reason why the child is called a "bear child" should be that you are killed by his pinch, and the momentum cannot be overwhelmed at all, just like this situation:
"Say drink hot and not cold water, you have to heat the water, you have to get hot, I won't drink"
"It's not like this, it's not like this, you don't move, I don't play with you anymore"
Say that the noise is okay, belongs to the primary bear child, if you cooperate with the ground 180 degree rotation, plus 100 decibels of large horn, do not make you compromise, never give up, the bear child level, basically soared to "advanced".
In the face of the "bear child grade display", different parents have different treatment methods, which can be roughly divided into the following categories:
Be a slave to the child's emotions
In public, in order to ask for toys to sprinkle jokes, parents do not want to become the public "focus", under the child's noisy, had to give in, all kinds of satisfaction. As a result, the child will find: crying is very effective, this method is good, and use it next time!
Counter violence with violence
Crying? What's so hard about that, just beat it up!
This simple and rough "quick calm" seems to be effective on the surface, but in fact, the harm caused to the child's heart, parents have ever thought, so that the child's dependence on you and inner security will gradually decrease with your violence.
Label your child's emotions
"Why are you so disobedient", "Crying is not a good child at all", "How is he so stupid, hit you you will not also hit him" In every sentence, there are labels for children, and they are all negative, so that children form the concept that they are bad children, stupid children, children that no one likes.
Every time, you just think about how to suppress emotions quickly, have you ever understood why children have such emotions?
The trajectory of a child's emotional development
Emotions everyone has, innate, from the moment we are born, we will be curious, painful, disgusted, satisfied, from the age of two months, there will be anger, sadness, happiness, surprise, fear, as we grow up, we will express their emotions through expressions, language, body movements, until adulthood, our emotions will gradually develop and mature.
Therefore, the development of human emotions is a long process, from the basic to the complex, from the expression to the behavior, to the action, and finally to the control, the development of emotions, is part of our growth, it itself is not right or wrong, just some emotions are happy, some emotions are negative, and so on.
Take your child to recognize their emotions correctly, know that this is a normal reaction, and there is no right or wrong.
Because we live in a group, everyone is not isolated, so we need to guide children, properly control their emotions, or the way to vent emotions should be properly adjusted, how to guide, is a lesson that parents must learn.
There are several ways parents can try it:
Understand and accept your child's emotions
Accept the child, accept the child's emotions
When the child is not satisfied, but has emotions, you have to understand him,
Understand his mood, understand his emotions, under your understanding, he will accept himself, will slowly calm down, such as not buying his favorite snacks, you said to him: "Mom knows that baby now wants to eat a candy right, Mom won't let you eat, you are very sad, and then you cry"
You go and express your understanding of the child, and at the same time express the name of the emotion "sad, angry, angry, sad" Next time, if he has the same emotion, he will also express it in words.
Under your attention and patient guidance, I believe that the child will slowly calm down, with your empathy and listening, the child will gradually accept his emotions and gradually calm down.
Guide your child to adjust their cognition and think about how to solve problems
For example, when a child's beloved toy is taken by a child to play with, the child gets angry and then goes to grab it back, and the two children start to work.
How do parents deal with this time?
In the case of other children, first of all, you have to pick him up, tell him baby, mother is here, mother accompanies you, his heart will be supported at once, there is a backer, can be strong in an instant.
And then after he's emotionally stable, he'll tell you what he thinks about it, why he's doing it.
At this time, we can slowly smooth out according to the child's thinking, and then find a way to solve the problem together. For example: This is your toy, and then the child came to our house, saw it and liked it, wanted to play for a while, but he didn't ask us if the baby could play, and then the baby thought he was going to rob our toy, right?
Then the next time we tell the children that we need to "buy a ticket first, then get on the bus", first with our consent, and then go to play, okay.
Wise parents know how to use picture books to mediate their children's emotions
In this way, not only to protect the child, but also to educate the child, the child is the owner of the toy, the child has the right to say no to others, at the same time, if the child goes to someone else's home, you should also first fight for the consent of the child, before you can play with the toy. While resolving emotions, it also teaches children to be polite and to be human, and to do more in one fell swoop.
How to let children understand the processing methods of emotions in advance and inject behavioral awareness in advance? Picture books are a good choice.
I recommend that mom and dad take their children to read "Children's Emotional Management and Character Development Picture Book". It can help you pull back from the brink of collapse when you encounter a child's tantrum, which not only saves you, but also liberates the child.
A full set of 10 volumes, all scenario simulations, designed for children aged 2-8 years old.
And it is bilingual in Chinese and English.
The picture book takes every emotional problem that needs to be solved as the theme, integrates it into a small story, through the story, feel the emotion, understand the emotion, and solve the emotion.
Rich in themes and close to life, emotional issues such as self-protection, bravery, self-confidence, honesty and trustworthiness, emotional management, politeness, friendship, sharing, self-improvement, and self-discipline are all available.
Children with 2-6 years old can prepare a set of "Children's Emotional Management and Character Cultivation Picture Book", in the form of pictures and stories, so that children can understand things and emotions in the mood, which is really a good helper to solve children's emotional management problems.
When you don't know how to solve the child's emotional problems, you may wish to read this book, after all, silently read "biological biological", strong pressure anger, although it does not hurt the child, but the self-destructive power is too large, there are certain methods and skills, both to solve the dilemma of parents, but also to let the child treat the emotions correctly, come to read it, and be the owner of the emotion with the child.