In intimate relationships, there is a part of the difficulty of enjoying the love of others with peace of mind. Because they feel they should do something to get the equivalent love of their partner.
Because in childhood, parents will always emphasize what kind of sacrifices they have made because of you, such as resigning in order to take care of you during the career upswing, or that your parents are very hard, you must be sensible and so on.
In this case, you have to be obedient, agree with what your parents say, and thank them for their efforts in order to feel their love. In the long run, your heart will feel guilty about your parents, and you will think that love is an exchange.
Parents express love as sacrifice, and what the child receives is indebtedness, and will suppress his true thoughts, so as to please and cater to the parents and show the appearance of a well-behaved child.
When you grow up, you will be in an intimate relationship in the same way with your partner, exchanging flattery and obedience for your partner's love.
Once you have an argument with your partner, your first reaction is always to ease the conflict first, solve the problem in a way that pleases your partner, wrongfully aggrieved yourself, and obey his ideas.
This kind of flattery in the relationship is because there are "sacrificial parents".
Over time, your partner will ignore you more and more, taking your obedience to him for granted.
You feel like he doesn't love you, and he's confused because you haven't expressed your needs and thoughts.
In this kind of intimate relationship, you will feel extremely wronged, but your partner will not understand at all, feel that your emotions are inexplicable, and do not understand your inner thoughts.
Therefore, because there is a problem with the inner cognition of love, the feelings of the flattering type of person are always problematic. When you are a child, you do not get unconditional love from your parents, which in turn affects the way you get along with your partner in intimate relationships when you grow up, and affect your happiness in adulthood.
If you want to really solve such emotional problems and establish a benign intimate relationship, you must start from the fundamental factor, that is, to solve the profound influence of the original family, in order to correct the perception of love and change the behavior of flattery.