All parents want their children to grow up happy, but the biggest scam of education is called "Children, you just have to be happy."
All parents want their children to love reading and learning consciously, but the biggest truth of education is that "never expect children to be self-conscious."
There are never children who are born with self-discipline, but there are parents who can teach their children self-discipline.
1
The stupidest education
It is to expect children to "teach themselves"
In the circle of friends, I saw a mother complaining about her son:
"I'm all laughed at, can I still finish my homework when I have this time?"
It turned out that in order to avoid writing homework, the child actually made a dummy out of clothes in an attempt to evade the supervision of his parents.
The homework is thrown aside, and the child does not know where to run, which makes people cry and laugh.
Do not write homework mother kind filial piety, talk about homework chicken flying dog jump, almost every family has an "unconscious" child.
Parents who are helpless can only say and teach over and over again:
"Can't you be a little more self-conscious, let Mom and Dad save their minds?"
"How many times have you said that learning is your own business, and mom and dad can't help you."
But preaching only makes kids hate learning even more.
It is the nature of children to play greedily, and unconsciously is the instinct of children.
Studies have shown that before the age of 6, the prefrontal cortex of the brain is immature, the motivation for learning is not clear, and the self-control is also very weak.
Self-discipline this ability, without long-term discipline, how to talk about blossoming?
Instead of parents saying a few more words to their children and sending their children to cram schools, the children will suddenly learn consciously.
In the TV series "Little Joy", Fang Yifan was suggested by his teacher to repeat the grade for one year because his grades were too poor.
Tong Wenjie was so angry that she scolded her son, and there was no way but to ask her girlfriend Song Qian to help her son with his homework.
Song Qian said that she didn't know to worry about it for a long time, and now she began to worry.
Tong Wenjie replied, why didn't I worry about it, how much money did I spend on him to sign up for cram school, this is still called not worrying?
Shifting the responsibility for education to educational institutions and schools is essentially that parents are irresponsible.
Don't blame the child for disobedience when you should manage it, and start managing when you shouldn't.
In the process of education, every lazy parent is cultivating a lazy child.
2
Indisciplined parents
You can't raise good kids
How parents educate their children well has always been the most important issue in education.
I remember that President Yu Minhong said a sentence:
"In the process of a person's growth before the age of 18, the impact of family education accounts for more than 60%, school education accounts for 30%, and social education accounts for 10%."
The gap between children is actually the gap between parents.
There was a child in the class who always dozed off during class, had a very poor mental state, and could not keep up with his studies.
After talking to his parents, I learned that my father left work very late, often arrived home after 11 o'clock, and the child had to wait for his father to come back every day.
Not only pestering dad to play, but also watching TV with adults, not going to bed until the early morning of the day.
His parents don't care, the children play with their mobile phones when they watch TV, and the family is all "night owls".
Parents can't manage themselves well, so don't expect a child to be self-conscious.
It is said that excellent children often have traces to follow, and poor children are not?
Parents are indiscipline, free-spirited, addicted to pleasure, and are raising equally indiscipline children.
Parents watch TV when they come home from work, and children do not write homework when they come home from school;
Parents hold their mobile phones all day long and do not let go, and children will also be addicted to mobile phones and do not learn;
Parents usually procrastinate, and children will be accustomed to procrastination when they do anything;
Parents do not set a good example for their children, and a lot of education is useless.
Always remember a passage from a writer:
For a family, the parent is the root of the tree, the child is the flower, if there is a problem with the flower, it is most likely that the root is wrong.
Parents often only see their children's problems, in essence, their own problems are reproduced in their children.
Parents who are not self-disciplined cannot raise self-conscious children.
Parental indiscipline is quietly destroying the next generation.
3
Behind every self-disciplined child
Both stand parents who can "endure"
"The Road Few People Walk" mentions:
"Without the principle of self-discipline, discipline as a backing will not play any positive role, on the contrary, if parents can discipline themselves, there is no need to discipline their children to teach naturally."
The essence of educating children is to educate themselves, and as parents, they only need to set a good example for their children.
Many people know that Gao Xiaosong is very good at speaking, but they do not know that he is also very good at "learning".
Since he was a child, his grades have been very good, and he attended the A1 class of Beijing No. 4 Middle School in high school, which is the top class in the top class.
When he took the college entrance examination, he had already been guaranteed to be placed in Zhejiang University, or went to Tsinghua, with a good score of more than 60 points above the admission line, he was admitted to the most cattle electronic engineering department.
The reason why Gao Xiaosong is so good is inseparable from his parents' teaching of him from an early age.
His parents rarely care about their son's study, but they themselves love learning and are good at research.
Under the influence of his parents, Gao Xiaosong fell in love with reading at a very young age, and his home was full of books, and even his reading notes were written in several large boxes.
Any child who loves to read is not "forced", but has a pair of parents who also love to read and learn.
Any self-disciplined child is not "said", but thanks to the words and deeds of his parents.
In this year's college entrance examination, a candidate with a full score appeared in Hainan and achieved an excellent score of 900 points.
In the three years of high school, his grades were very stable, basically maintaining the position of the first in the grade, and was a veritable bully.
He said his parents were role models for him to learn from as he was a child.
"I learned a lot from my parents, their dedication and dedication to their work attitude, I have heard about them since I was a child, and I have consciously approached them in behavior and thought."
If you say, the score of the college entrance examination determines the height of the child in the next four years.
Then, the degree of self-discipline will determine the height of the child's entire life.
4
Children's indiscretion is instinctive
It was his parents' ability to discipline him
Someone asked: Why self-discipline?
The most liked answers were:
"You mix a day and work hard for a day, you can't see any difference, but after a month, you and others pay attention to different things, half a year later, you and others have a different aura, a year later, there is a distance between you and others." 」
As for whether it is getting better or worse, it depends on whether you choose to mix or work hard.
Children who are self-disciplined and indisciplined will have very different lives.
Cultivating children's self-discipline from an early age is far more important than grades.
1. Help children find the "internal drive" of self-discipline
True self-discipline comes neither from harsh discipline nor from cold persecution.
It comes from the determination, love and ambition of the child's heart.
While making demands on their children, parents should constantly clarify his cognition, affirm his ability, and clearly tell him "where you can do", and he will work hard in this direction with peace of mind.
When children's self-awareness is high, their requirements for themselves will continue to increase.
2. Cultivate children's self-discipline habits for a lifetime
Self-discipline is not so much a quality as a habit that must be cultivated from an early age.
Studies have shown that 3 to 10 years old is the best time to develop self-discipline habits in children.
Parents help their children to recognize and manage time, cherish and make good use of every minute and second, and do not make excuses for procrastination and laziness.
Do only one thing at a time, and concentrate on each investment, to cultivate the child's patience and concentration.
When the child learns to plan and manage his time and concentrate on doing everything well, he has basically been able to self-discipline.
3. Parents should be the best role models for their children
The educator Ushinsky once said: "The role model is a very beneficial sunshine for the child's mind, and this sunshine is irreplaceable." ”
It is better to say a thousand ways than to have a pair of good role models and guide the direction for children.
Parents should use their lives to influence their children's lives, and they should use their egos to create a better self for their children.
Education is without him, just an example. From now on, be a self-disciplined parent and ferry your child's life!