What is it like to have a seventeen or eighteen-year-old brother and sister with a two- or three-year-old younger sibling? With the opening of the two-child and three-child policy, more and more sisters with large age gaps have appeared in the field of vision. It's nice at first, but when you look at the example around me, you probably won't think so.
The post-80s generation is the first batch of only children, and now, they are middle-aged, and their parents already need support. If both husband and wife are only children, in the face of four elderly people, their pressure can be imagined, and they must be very envious of those who have brothers and sisters around them.
Therefore, there are many people who have a second child after the 80s, just to give the child a companion, and when they reach the pension in the future, the child will not be so difficult. As a result, they have become the main force in giving birth to a second child at an older age.
Aijun is a resident of the same neighborhood as us, her second son is about the same age as my daughter, and often plays together in the leisure square in the community. I was 27 when I had my second child and she was 40. I'm 13 years old, with a child of the same age in my arms. So often embarrassingly, someone says she's the child's grandmother.
Later, even she herself often couldn't help but laugh at herself, she said: "After giving birth to my second child, I didn't dare to look in the mirror, and I really felt that I was the child and his grandmother." From pregnancy to the birth of the child, I suddenly grew more than 10 years old. ”
As a post-80s generation, I also feel that the burden on her is too heavy. The eldest son was 16 years old, in the third year of high school, and when homework was at its most important, she gave birth to a second child. The older child puts her mental pressure on her, the younger child needs her mother's 24-hour care, and the burden of life seems to be 10 times heavier at once.
Because her own parents and in-laws were already old, she had not planned to let them help with the children, but she did not expect that her mother-in-law would be sick at this time. Since my mother-in-law fell ill, the family has become a pot of porridge.
The husband is the only child in the family, there are no brothers and sisters to share, take the elderly to see a doctor, run around during hospitalization, and after being discharged from the hospital, they can only let the nurse take care of it, after all, it is not possible to work.
Both husband and wife are very hard, and it is also very difficult for the wife to take the child alone, so life is often with the smell of gunpowder. The eldest son said he was going to get into college quickly and didn't want to stay at home for a minute.
Whether it is right to have a second child, I have two children myself, but fortunately the children are now grown up, and I am still very young.
I personally think it's good to have two children, watching two children love each other, it really feels like how hard it is to be worth it. However, I think if your big treasure is more than 10 years old, it is best not to have a second child.
Have a second child early, because there are several practical reasons that you may need to face
▼ The age difference is too much, and the two children cannot grow up together at all.
If one of your kids is already a teenager, he's also a busy person. The child's study is very intense, and there are various interest classes, which are arranged seven days a week.
We all say that giving birth to a second child is for Dabao as a companion, if he himself has grown up and has a lot of things to do, how to be with a small doll who is still breastfeeding?
If the age difference between the two children is very large, the younger siblings not only cannot be accompanied by their older siblings, but may also become a burden and burden to them. Therefore, when you have a second child, if the child is already older, it is best to ask their opinion.
▼ The age difference between the two children is more than 10 years, and the mother may already be an advanced maternal age.
The danger of elderly women is more familiar to everyone, pregnancy is difficult, pregnancy risk is large, and the proportion of fetal abortion, preterm birth and malformations will increase significantly.
If you are an elderly mother, it is most likely to be a caesarean section, and the recovery of physical health after giving birth to a child is not comparable to that of young people. Therefore, older women have children, and they are really quite guilty.
▼ Elderly mothers have limited energy in educating and raising their children.
The child is born, the mother is called the child's grandmother, the face is old, which is not only a very embarrassing thing, but also faces the child's lack of energy.
It is very energy-consuming to bring a child, if you have been 40+, after the birth of a child to take alone, physical exertion, mental collapse, the rhythm of life will change a lot, it is best to have a psychological preparation.
▼ Grandparents are getting older, there is no one to help with the children, and they still need to take care of the elderly.
When a young parent gives birth to a child, it also means that the child has healthy grandparents. Grandparents can help with the kids and take a lot of stress off the parents.
However, if your big treasure is already a teenager and you are already an advanced maternal age, the child's grandparents will be very old. Not only are they in poor health, not only can they not help with their children, but they may also need to be cared for.
It is not recommended that everyone have a second child, if we plan to have a second child, a third child, we will give birth as soon as possible, and the two children will grow up together, which is also another kind of happiness in the family.
Of course, there are still many families who want to have a second child, and at this time, it is still necessary to make some preparations in advance in order to make the two children live happier.
The age difference between the second child is too much, and these preparations should be done in advance, so that the second child can really be a companion
Raising a child costs a lot, raising two children is not only doubled, but also need to consider with a baby, tutoring homework, limited energy, you need to choose to leave the home with a baby.
At this time, there is sufficient financial preparation, the matter of making money can be pressed on the husband first, the mother is at ease with the baby, tutoring the child, division of labor and cooperation, the family will be happier, and the two children will get along more peacefully.
And parents should be a bowl of water flat, don't think that the big treasure is big and sensible, it doesn't need love, it also needs. Only by caring more about Dabao will Dabao welcome the arrival of his brother or sister, and will also understand the difficulties of his parents.
When he gave birth to Dabao, he gave him most of his energy and love, so the arrival of Erbao must also be like before, so that the two children can love each other, are you right?