The same is to do one thing, some children quickly complete and then do other things, some children just like to grind foreign workers, procrastinate, not serious, a lot of excuses, play tricks on the kung fu, he does not want to do it?
The answer is no!
The reason why children are so different is mainly because of the different sense of responsibility of children.
If the parent does not let go, the child will not do it
Children's homework grinding, procrastination, lack of seriousness, or failure to complete homework are often related to the following behaviors of many parents:
Pay too much attention to your child's learning outcomes
Worry about your child's future development
Too much involvement in the child's responsibility (for example, the parent asks the child to start doing homework over and over again, then sits next to the child to supervise, and finally helps the child check the homework one by one, asking the child to correct each problem)
As a result, every assignment you turn in gets a perfect or high score, but can you say it's your child's homework?
When you take the child's responsibility into your own responsibility, the child thinks that learning is for the parents, learning is not my responsibility, and the state shown is procrastinating, absent-minded, and not wanting to complete the homework.
Poor writing, wrong grammar, wrong spelling, sometimes forgetting to do homework, or homework left at home, sometimes taking a bad test to go home, this is a normal thing, is an inevitable experience in the process of children's growth.
If parents are therefore angry, complaining, urging and scolding, not only will the child's energy be consumed in dealing with the negative emotions caused by these, but also will deepen the child's boredom and fear of learning, hinder the development of the child's sense of responsibility and initiative for learning, and the consequences are much more serious than the child's initial "problem".
3 sentences that destroy the sense of responsibility of children
The child is small and does not understand things
I believe that many parents are familiar with this sentence, and there is a particularly typical case:
A bear child went to a relative's house and poured mineral water on the piano, and the owner asked him what he was doing, and the child replied: "Help you wash the piano." ”
The adults in the family rushed to hear the noise and quickly excused the child: "Oh, the child does not understand things, he is also kind." ”
The host was helpless, only to forget.
Half a year later, the parents took their children to the mall to play, and the children poured half a bottle of Coke on the piano worth 680,000 yuan. And this time, a sentence of "children don't understand things" is difficult to fool the past. Just imagine, the first time a child makes a mistake, parents stop it in time, let the child sincerely apologize, and then face the responsibility that should be borne, is this not a perfect opportunity to educate the child?
Because of the parents' face-to-face protection and back-up, the child is so unfollow, the same mistake, he can unscrupulously make the second, third... Young age is not an umbrella, the child's behavior always has to be paid for, today you can block in front of the child, the future of new troubles is indispensable.
"You just have to do a good job of studying, you don't have to worry about other things"
In life, parents often hear parents describe their children like this: the soy sauce bottle is poured and they don't know how to help it.
The subtext of this sentence is that the child's sense of responsibility for the family is too weak.
Some adults tell their children when they are very young:
"You don't have to do anything."
"You're not needed here!"
"You just have to study well."
The more times, the child thinks that the family does not need his efforts.
As Professor Li Meijin said:
Parents should implant the concept of sharing housework into their children from an early age. Even if you let your child help with a pair of slippers and pour a glass of water, you can guide your child from an early age to become a person who will take care of his parents.
The cultivation of children's sense of responsibility is hidden in these details.
"Leave it all to Mom"
Some parents, in raising children, often do too much and too full, full of distrust of their children, do everything for their children, resulting in the more dependent the children, the sense of responsibility for themselves and their families has not really been established from the beginning.
For example, some children do not bring homework books, he never feels that it is his own problem, but his parents do not remind him, do not help him put away the homework books.
Such children rarely find reasons from themselves, and they are all other people's problems.
There is such a story.
An entrepreneur drove his daughter to school, and when she arrived at the school gate, her daughter refused to get out of the car for a long time, and finally began to cry: "Daddy, can you accompany me to the classroom?" ”
It turned out that the child did not complete the homework, afraid of the teacher's criticism, she felt that her father was a very famous entrepreneur, looking at her father's face, the teacher may not criticize herself.
On the contrary, the father was very calm, and he told his daughter: "You know, what you don't want to face today, you still have to face tomorrow." ”
In the end, it was the daughter who walked into the classroom alone.
Do your own thing, your own behavior should be responsible, these two clichés, is the most direct and effective way to cultivate children's sense of responsibility.
Some people say, "Responsibility is a love for what you ask to do."
The essence of education with a sense of responsibility is also to teach children how to love the world, love society, and love the people around them, which should be valued and practiced by parents.
Letting go is not letting go, these steps should be taken well
Communicating with children – why learn?
Parents should help their children develop the idea that you are not an exam machine, and you are not studying for Mom and Dad.
You learn to explore this wonderful world so that your life is more colorful; you learn to grow wisdom, to explore your unique personality, to make your life more meaningful and happy; you are learning to make your life more meaningful and happy; you are learning to make the most of your strengths and talents to help others.
Tell your child in the chat that the process of learning is a process of continuous self-exploration, you will gradually understand what you like, what you are good at, what you don't like, what you are not good at; you will learn some knowledge and skills, so that you have more choices in the future and do what you are interested in.
When a parent was discussing with his son, the son asked, "What if I am interested in driving a truck to collect garbage?" He told his son that if you go to college and feel that driving a truck to collect garbage is indeed your interest and can play your talents, then I hope that you can be a person with a heart in the process of collecting garbage, and study how to improve the existing system and be more conducive to environmental protection, then you will become the best garbage collector in the world!
Everyone can find their talents through hard work, and use this talent to serve others and society. Doing this work in this way will make you happy and feel meaningful.
On the other hand, if your talent is not in the garbage collection, you will feel that the garbage collection work is boring, and it will not bring you happiness. The various abilities and skills cultivated in the process of learning in school will give you more opportunities to choose your own industry.
For children, you only need to make 3 requests:
1. Be sure to work hard and sum up the experience, but don't care too much about the test results.
2. In today's age when knowledge is updated so quickly, how you learn is more important than what you learn from books. I hope you can learn various skills, such as time management skills, learning methods that suit you, the ability to analyze and solve problems, the ability to think independently, the ability to find resources and self-study, and so on.
3. I hope you have curiosity about the world, want to explore the unknown of the world, have a strong desire for knowledge, and have a lifelong spirit of learning. I hope you can find one or two subjects in school that you are interested in, and I hope you can drill into them and even use your spare time to read more about it online.
I hope you ask the teacher a question, and the teacher doesn't necessarily answer it right away, but says", "Well, good question!" I'll have to think about it and then answer you."
Learning is not equal to book knowledge, and it is not equal to academic performance. Book knowledge is only one part of learning, and life is the best and largest campus.
How to cultivate a sense of responsibility in children?
We need to renew our mindset
Pampered, overprotective children, let children from an early age to pamper, selfish, do whatever they want, children will lack responsibility for society and others when they become adults. The education method that makes children absolutely obedient can only cultivate people who are obedient to orders, have no opinions, and dare not be responsible, and if there are children, they must be willing to use.
It is not necessary to let the child be absolutely obedient to us, allow the child to do one thing, put forward some ideas of their own, and then let the child do it on his own, you need to give the child enough time to let him have the possibility of self-determination, so that he will exert his subjective initiative, so that he can stimulate his potential, and do things to be responsible and responsible.
Cultivating a child's sense of responsibility is to be responsible for oneself
Only if a child is responsible for himself, he will be responsible for his family, and he will be responsible for his work and society in the future.
Cultivating the child's sense of responsibility must start from cultivating the child's own things, such as going out shopping, be sure to let him carry his own things; change out of his own socks and shorts every day, and try to wash themselves.
Let the child pay attention to the family
After the child has done his own thing, he should be assigned some household chores (the obligations of the whole family), such as learning to sweep the floor, wipe the table and chairs, water the flowers and other chores; when the parents wash their feet, they ask him to bring the slippers; when eating, ask him to add food to his grandparents.
When the child is doing these things, he must make it clear to him: Mom and Dad are responsible for your food, clothing, housing and transportation, and you also have the responsibility to do some housework within your ability. I am firmly opposed to giving children money to do housework, because you are a family member, which is your obligation.
Let children understand the hardships of their parents' work and life
It is appropriate to let children understand some of the worries and difficulties of parents, so that children feel the happiness of the family, relying on the joint participation of parents and themselves, and then enhance the child's sense of responsibility for the family.
Cultivating children's sense of responsibility should pay attention to three points
Stand in the same trench as your child
When the child experiences the results and naturally realizes that his original choice was unwise, our attitude should not be schadenfreude and count the children down the well, "You see you, I told you, you didn't listen, now you know it's wrong?" Instead, it should be an encouraging attitude, "Child, it's okay. Mom (Dad) also did a lot of wrong things when she was a child, eating a lot of food and growing a wisdom, and this is how children grow up."
Stimulate your child's internal motivation
We must firmly believe that every child is born with a positive seed, as long as parents have high-quality companionship, love, appreciation, listening and encouragement for their children, it will create conditions for the growth of this seed, and the child's internal motivation will be stimulated. Of course, give your child the time they need to progress.
Accept your child's imperfections
In the short term, the child's performance under the constant supervision of the parents may be better than the performance of the child after the parents let go, which is why many parents dare not let go.
But the child's performance under parental supervision comes from outside control, not from internal forces. In the long run, the inner strength will be stronger and more durable, after all, we can only accompany the child for a while, the rest of the road needs the child to have the internal motivation to go on, so we must accept the "imperfection" shown by the child in the growth.
The sense of responsibility is like a bank account opened by the child for himself, the greater the child's sense of responsibility, the more deposits in it, and his life will have inexhaustible interest; and if the child lacks responsibility from an early age, then the account will always be in a state of arrears, and his life will have unfinished debts.
Please indicate the source "Capital Education (ID: bjedunews)".
Some of the materials in this article are synthesized from the home of the class teacher, Qian Zhiliang studio, Teacher Sun said tutoring, etc.
EDIT: A ray of sunshine
Reviewer: Pleasing to others