When a child cries and says he doesn't want to go to kindergarten, the parent's answer is important

"I don't want to go to kindergarten, I don't go..." In the morning, seeing that I was going to be late, the child was still lying on the ground crying hoarsely and not going to kindergarten, and he didn't listen to how to persuade him. Although it has been a while since school started, such a scene is still staged at home every day, making mom and dad both distressed and helpless!

Dear parents, is this the case for your child when he first enters kindergarten? What do you do as a parent when your child cries and says they don't want to go to kindergarten? Was it harsh to tell him "must go"? Or soft heart to stop sending to the garden? Or do you teach and instill in the big truth that "you can learn knowledge in kindergarten"?

In fact, when a child cries and says that he does not want to go to kindergarten, the parent's answer is very important and has a far-reaching impact on the child.

Anxiety in kindergarten is a necessary stage for children

For children who have just entered the small class, they will have some separation anxiety in the face of a new environment and unfamiliar teachers and classmates. British psychologist John Bowlby has observed that separatist anxiety in young children is divided into three stages:

Stage One: Resistance

This stage is usually the most intense, and will use crying, making trouble, rolling, hitting people and other ways to express their resistance.

Stage Two: Disappointment

Although I will still cry at this stage, my expression will gradually decrease, and I don't want to pay attention to others.

Stage Three: Detachment

After becoming familiar with the environment, trusting the teacher and no longer being strange to the little friends, the child begins to be relieved, accepts the collective life, and falls in love with the kindergarten.

So when children just go to kindergarten, it is normal to cry, which is conducive to their emotional catharsis. As long as you insist on sending kindergartens, as much as one month, as little as three or five days, children can adapt well to the collective life of kindergartens.

The "trilogy" to relieve children's anxiety

Stanley Greenspan, a well-known American child psychologist, said: "Children around 3 years old will find an intimate caregiver almost every 15 minutes. "In kindergarten, leaving his parents for a full eight hours, he will definitely have a loss in his heart, will resist, and want to be with his parents. Therefore, when a child says that he does not want to go to kindergarten, if we do not understand what the child has in mind, it will only make him helpless and more resistant to going to kindergarten.

The following "trilogy" to alleviate children's anxiety, parents may wish to repeatedly "chant" with their children:

The first song: The resonance song

In the face of children's crying, parents should not blindly tell him how fun the kindergarten is and how kind the teacher is... These don't resonate with your child. You might as well say something like this: "Mom knows it's not easy to go to kindergarten, Mom isn't by your side, and you don't feel the same, right?" ”

To say this is to tell the child that the mother understands him, and we know how difficult it is to go to kindergarten. This allows children to get emotional resonance and make it easier to confide in mom and dad. Only when we know what the child thinks can we solve the child's problem in a further way.

Second song: Acceptance song

When the child's mood is slightly stable, parents can hit the iron while it is hot and accept the child's bad emotions. It may be said: "The kindergarten environment is not familiar with you, the kindergarten meal may sometimes not be very appetizing, the kindergarten bed is not yet accustomed to sleeping, and you have not yet had time to make friends with your friends, you just want to play with your mother at home, and these mothers know it." ”

As parents, we need to accept our children's emotions. When we know what is in our child's heart, we need to let him know what his mother thinks. We accept children, and children accept us, and that's the best way to solve it.

Third song: Encouragement

After accepting your child's emotions, we should encourage the child and express our expectations. It's not easy to say, "It's not easy for you to stick to kindergarten, you're really great!" Hold on a little longer, Mom believes that one day you will fall in love with kindergarten! ”

When we say these words, the child is likely to cry, we don't have to worry, it is not that the child does not want to go to kindergarten, but he has suppressed for too long, and finally someone understands himself, and the emotions can be fully vented at this time.

In addition to accepting children's emotions and wanting children to successfully overcome the anxiety of entering kindergarten and adapt to the collective learning and life of kindergartens as soon as possible, parents may wish to take a look at the following tips:

1

Be "long-term persistence", not "stop and go up"

The first week of kindergarten is a very important adaptation period for children, and in general, as long as they have passed this time, most children have adapted to kindergarten life. However, a small number of parents, in the case of serious crying and not eating, out of pain for the child, they want to send them to the kindergarten for a few days, rest at home for a day, and give their children conditioning... In this way, the child will mobilize the wisdom of the whole body to let this will continue to succeed. Eventually, when the child and family enter the kindergarten, they will fall into repeated tension and crying.

2

To "share happiness" and not to "negatively guide"

Many parents will ask on the way back to pick up their children: "Did you cry today?" "Does the teacher like you or not?" "Did the other children bully you?" Such "negative guidance" will make children have bad associations with kindergartens.

Parents can ask questions that remind their children of happiness, such as: "Which little friend do you know?" "What fun games did the teacher take you to?" "What do you like to do in kindergarten?" This kind of communication naturally strengthens the child's good memories of the kindergarten, which is conducive to the child to establish a good emotional experience and adapt to the life of the kindergarten as soon as possible.

3

Be "calm" and don't "get to the bottom of it"

The admission of children to kindergarten is a big thing for families. After the child leaves for a whole day, the family's worries are understandable, but after picking up the child and returning home, the whole family will ask this and that around the child, which will strengthen the child's "discomfort" in entering the kindergarten.

It is recommended that parents not overly pay attention to the problem of their children's admission to kindergarten after picking up their children home. The peaceful attitude of parents is that children quickly adapt to the good external environment of kindergarten life.

In fact, alleviating the anxiety of entering kindergarten is a long and not easy process for children, parents and teachers. As a parent, you must adjust your mentality in advance and work hard to help your child adapt to the new environment, then your child will soon integrate into the big family of kindergarten!

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