Many parents have found that after their children go to kindergarten and primary school, they often do not listen to their own words, but they especially listen to the words of their teachers.
As one mom once said:
"Usually, what I let my child do, he is either grinding and chirping, procrastinating, or talking to you about the conditions, and he doesn't cooperate at all."
The teacher's words are like holy wills, more effective than anything, he does not need us to remind, and consciously does what the teacher says. ”
I believe that not only the above mother, but also everyone feels the same.
For the children in the family, who is the best to say the words now? Mom and Dad? Grandparents? Grandparents?
No, no, there is only one answer: the teacher in the school.
At home, he is a "little bully" who is "not afraid of heaven", and can obey like a docile little sheep in front of the teacher.
Is the teacher too strict, or is the child afraid?
Or is it the pampering of parents that makes children fearless? Why is that?
Teachers are harsh and gentle, and the main reasons why children listen to teachers are:
(1) The teacher is the one who spreads knowledge, and the child respects the teacher;
(2) There are strict rules and regulations in the school, which are more specific and strict than the "house rules", so the child's obedience in school is due to the constraints of a system;
(3) Most teachers have the ability and skills to make children obedient, and what the teacher says is easy for children to accept.
(4) Teachers will not spoil children, and the requirements for children are "strict but not strong, love and not drowning", so the teacher occupies an authoritative position in the minds of children.
Children do not listen to their parents, more is the environment and the impact of parents.
Spoiling children too much:
Most of the elders spoil their children and disagree at home, and mom and dad say they want their kids to do it, but grandparents tell their kids to do that.
The child makes a mistake, the parents criticize it harshly, but the grandparents blindly protect the short.
The inconsistency between adults makes children feel overwhelmed.
The end result is that either no one listens to what they say, or they only pick what they want to hear.
Expectations are too high, too much criticism:
Parents often place too high expectations on their children and place too much emphasis on their responsibilities to their children.
Once the child can not reach the set goal, disappointed, he ignores the child's self-esteem, regardless of the occasion, hits and even scolds the child, the result is counterproductive, so that the child and the parents form an opposition.
Frequently fool children:
"Eat a little more and wait until you watch TV"
"As long as you are good, the next time you have time, your parents will take you out to play"
Lies such as "you study hard, and if you make progress in the exam, you will buy a mobile phone for you", and the ultimatum has not been fulfilled.
Parents can easily get emotional:
Emotional instability when educating children:
When you are happy, you love terribly, kiss and hug, and be tolerant of everything;
When he is not happy, he loses his temper and scolds the child.
At home, parents do not establish good authority in front of their children, so what should they do?
(1) To establish an equal relationship with children.
Discuss with the child and listen to the child's opinions, which will make the child feel the trust of the parents and respect the parents.
(2) Parents should lead by example, set a good example for their children, and hope that what their children do should not be done first.
There is a saying that the best way to want children to be like people is that parents must first become that kind of person.
Parenting begins with self-rearing. Parents do a good job of themselves, set an example for their children to emulate, continue to learn, and strive to improve themselves, in order to win the respect and trust of their children.
(3) Care and understand children.
As a parent, you must not only care about your child's life, but also understand their interests and hobbies, and understand your child's abilities.
The requirements made to the child must be within their means of effort.
(4) Use correct educational means to educate children.
It is necessary to follow the good examples, and to blend leniency with severity, and to be lenient and moderate.
We must not issue bans, be picky everywhere, and accuse everything, nor can we blindly accommodate and let go.
(5) Parents should treat their children with faith and words count.
Don't always talk to your children, and keep your promises.
In this way, the child can be convinced of your words, can listen to your words, and your prestige can be established in mutual communication with the child.
(6) Be in step.
Parents and family members are in step with each other, the requirements are the same, and one "singing red face" and one "singing white face" should not be avoided.
Accuse each other in front of the children, and count the other's not.
(7) Do not frown at children, love is always hidden under an almost harsh expression, making it difficult for them to grasp.
Children do not know whether they are unhappy with their parents, and in the long run, children will become more and more unconfident.
Have doubts about the world around them, lack decisiveness in doing things, and fear that which step will go wrong and affect others.
(8) Improve the quality and cultivation of parents themselves.
As children grow up day by day, they gradually have the initial ability to judge right and wrong.
Parents should pay attention to their words and deeds, and protect a good emotional state so as not to affect your position in the child's mind.
In fact, educating children is like leading a snail for a walk. Can't come in a hurry. The growth of children is not achieved overnight, but a gradual process.
Educating children is also a lifelong practice for parents.
May we all continue to practice with our hearts and minds, and educate ourselves and educate ourselves!
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