The scientific community and the general public generally believe that the triggering factors for mental illnesses such as depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety disorders in children lie in various negative parenting environments and styles.
For example, the main body of the family environment, the mother has depression or depression tendencies, or the parents are too busy at work, do not have enough care and care for the woman, and have life pressure, such as poverty, single parenthood, domestic violence, etc.
However, some families' parents get along very harmoniously, and the care of their children is also meticulous, comprehensive, what to give, do not let the children worry about their basic food, clothing, and housing, and try to avoid dangerous living environments.
But the child still suffers from depression, many parents say that they do not understand, obviously they are so good to the child, how can there still be psychological problems?
In fact, this behavior of parents has become (overprotective), and this overprotection is closely related to the abnormal mental state of the child, and this association is particularly evident in the mother's overprotectiveness of the child.
Long-term longitudinal follow-up studies have found that parents' excessive protection and concern for their children's early stages objectively limit their children's contact with the social and natural living environment.
It also excessively conveys information about the dangers of external society to children, limiting children's opportunities to develop the ability to cope with challenges and difficulties.
Overprotected children are prone to social withdrawal under the manipulation of their parents, which can lead to excessive stress and anxiety relative to other children when faced with simple daily problems in their independent lives, and to avoid turning to their parents prematurely.
Not only that, but the tension of overprotected children when they live independently can also make them behave in a social environment.
The impact is that they are socially weak, appear unsociable, and are more likely to be ridiculed and isolated by other children.
This passive social distancing further reinforces the message in the child's mind about the dangers of the outside world that is transmitted by the parents.
It also develops low self-esteem, forming a malignant causal closed loop, the effect of which will last into adulthood or even longer.
This overprotective factor is that parents overestimate the environmental dangers of their children's external lives, which also leads to potential anxiety symptoms for parents.
The anxiety symptoms of parents themselves are also the triggers for children to develop mental illnesses such as anxiety, depression and bipolar disorder.
In addition to causing excessive anxiety to induce mental illness, parents' overprotectiveness of their children can also have a widespread and sustained negative impact on their children's abilities and lives later in life.
This includes weak problem-handling skills, interpersonal skills, empathy, etc.
Overprotection is devastating to a child's sense of competence (a sense of superiority and competitiveness to others, an affirmation of one's own abilities), autonomy (self-determination, self-resolution, and fulfillment), and a sense of belonging (relationship-building, cooperation, and respect).
The weak composition of these three aspects will make people lack internal motivation, become less likely to drive themselves, indecisive, difficult to set goals and achieve goals, and develop a failed life.
Not only is life unhappy and uneasy, but there is nothing to achieve, and even the physical health is not as good as other children who are normally raised.
To avoid overprotection, you should raise your child like this:
When the child is 1 year old, unconditionally meet all the physical and psychological needs of the child, feed when hungry, hug when crying, and so on.
When the child is 1 to 3 years old, dare to encourage the child to explore the world by himself, accompany the child to understand the world, and also begin to teach the child morality and world rules, willing to teach the child gently and firmly.
When the child is 3 to 7 years old, the child often has the first rebellious period.
Parents dare to let go, let their children learn to take care of themselves, learn to get along with their peers, find ways to get along with their peers, and become more independent.
When the child is 7 to 12 years old, lead by example and let the child learn to be diligent.
Encourage children to play more with their peers, be willing to let children arrange their own lives, trust their children's abilities, and not interfere too much in their children's decisions.
When the child is 12 to 18 years old, learn to get along with the child as an equal, and share knowledge and wisdom in life with the child like a friend.
Don't be afraid of your child leaving home, and encourage your child to create miracles on their own.
Don't be afraid of your child's mistakes and have the courage to accept your child's decisions, even if some of them don't seem so correct at times.
The child's life should be experienced by the child himself, and the childhood life that has not been well tempered by life is incomplete.
If parents insist on isolating these hammers to save their children from injury, the child will pay a greater and more lasting price later in life than these hammers.
When the child is sad, the parents do not teach the child, "how can you think so much", "you think too much", "how are you so vulnerable" and so on.
Instead, hug the child, accompany him, comfort him: "You have done a good job, I know", "I know that you have worked very hard and wronged you", "It's okay, just cry out if you feel bad", and so on.
When the child and the parents decide differently, instead of forcing the child to cooperate in the name of love, but after telling the child all the concerns, let the child make his own decision.
It's not about ignoring it, it's about trusting, trusting your child, trusting him to make good decisions.
Don't say that you love your child and ask your child to be proficient.
I hope that the child is well-behaved and usually takes care of all the housework by himself.
In the face of the 11 or 2-year-old child, he was also locked up at home every day and did not let him go out to play.
In modern society, children spend too little time with their peers and nature.
A large part of our physical and mental health growth comes from the society of our peers, and the ability to regulate mental health can only be reflected in sports and exploration of nature.
I hope that parents will learn to let go of their children, do not let overprotective become the shackles of their children for a lifetime, so that children can have more time and opportunities to get along with their peers and contact nature.